Vat Jokes
53 vat jokes and hilarious vat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Vat Short Jokes
Short vat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vat humour may include short tax jokes also.
- A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.
- Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.
- My uncle just died. He fell into a vat of polish at the furniture factory.
It was a terrible end but a lovely finish. - I had an uncle who worked at a whiskey factory. He fell into a vat and drowned 6 hours later. He would have drowned earlier but he got out 3 times to pee.
- My husband died after falling into a giant vat of coffee at work. He didn't suffer, it was instant.
- In light of recent political tensions, please refrain from wishing Putin falls into a vat of concrete. That would set a very dangerous president.
- Just been told my uncle tragically died at the brewery. He fell into a vat and drowned. I don't think he suffered too much though, because he managed to get out twice to pee.
- "Hello? Zis is ze German Costgärd." "WE'RE SINKING WE'RE SINKING!!! I REPEAT, WE ARE SINKING!!!"
"Ah, yes! Vat are yu zinking about? - Grandpa was a healthy 82 when he fell in a vat of lard. After that, he went downhill really fast...
- My dad drowned while at work in a vat of cake mix I know it sounds unlikely but there were some very strong currants
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Vat One Liners
Which vat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vat? I can suggest the ones about brewery and overboard.
- A man was found dead in vat of ground chickpeas. Police are considering it a hummus-cide.
- I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I'm in whey over my head.
- Didja hear about the guy whose wife got trapped in a vatful of ink? She dyed.
- Meatloaf has married an accountant She will do anything for love but she won't do VAT.
- A rodent fell into a vat of hot cooking oil. It turned into a Chris Pratt
- Mayday, mayday, we are sinking. Zis iz za German coast guard vat are you sinking about?
- My uncle fell into a vat of curry at work He was in a korma for months.
- Met a girl at the park My VATS said I had a 0% chance to hit that.
- What do you call a man who steals large vats of Chinese noodles? A megalomeiniac.
- After falling into a vat of food coloring... I dyed
- A man fell into a hot vat at the Cadbury factory. He was bacon 'n eggs.
- If you push George W Bush into a vat of concrete. It would set a very bad president.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Vat Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about vat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spilt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vat pranks.
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old guys are working at a sewage treatment plant
o**... goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
"What are you doing?!" he yells
"My coat fell in" his buddy yells back
"You're not really gonna wear that again are you?!"
"No, no. Gosh no, I'm not going to wear it. I have to get it back though, My teeth are in the pocket!"
(Just a silly joke my granddad told me yesterday. Didnt see it when I searched the sub so figured yall might enjoy)
The German Lifeguard
A group of friends were on a boat in Munich when the hull was breached.
They quickly called for the German Life Guard yelling "Help we're sinking!"
The Life Guard asked "Ja, vat are you sinking about?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend drowned himself in a vat of varnish. He had a horrible end,
...but a lovely finish.
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me the truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three times to pee"
An Ole and Lena joke
Lena: "Der is trouble vit da car, sveetheart. It has vater in da carburetor."
Ole: "Vater in da carburetor? Dat is ridiculous."
Lena: "Ole, I tell you da car has vater in the carburetor."
Ole: "You don't even know vat a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Ver is da car?"
Lena: "In da lake."
A man decided to sail his boat from England to Russia
He starts his journey and everything is going great. That is, until he's passing Germany's northern coast. His ship begins taking on water and, in a panic, he radios the German Coast Guard.
"Help!" He says through the radio.
"Vat is it?" The German Coast Guard replies.
"I'm sinking!" The man says back.
The radio goes silent for a moment before the Coast Guard replies,
"Vell, vat are you sinking about?"
There's no way this isn't a repost but I just get cracked up every time I think of it.
A man knocked on Mrs Smith's door.
"I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident at the brewery," he said.
"Your husband fell into a giant vat of beer and drowned."
Mrs Smith started crying. "Oh poor thing, he had no chance!"
"I don't know about that," the man replied. "He got out three times to use the toilet."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.
I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.
'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'
'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.
'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.
'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a p**...'.
A story from a factory
One day, this guy's at work at a factory that makes glue and whiteout. These two substances are stored in these large vats. One day, the guy falls into one of the vats. His supervisor comes to help and the two start a conversation:
Guy: I'm okay. I just fell into the vat of glue.
Supervisor: You actually fell into the vat of whiteout. See, it says so right there.
Guy: I stand corrected.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A tub, pail, can, basket, canister, vat, kettle, cask, p**..., keg, barrel, and bowl.
I needed to make a bucket list before I die.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tragedy at the Guinness factory
One night, a woman answers the door to see her husband's best friend, p**..., standing on the doorstep.
Hello p**..., where is my husband? He said he was going to the Guinness factory with you.
p**... shakes his head. Ah, Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned.
Mrs McMillen starts crying. Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?
p**... shakes his head. Not really – he got out three times to go to the toilet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sad drowning death at the Guinness brewery.
Poor Shaumus fell in a large, deep vat of beer.
It was a real pity too.
He was able to get out twice to p**..., but could not make it out the third time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did the s**... feel when he jumped into a vat of m**... infused v**...?
He was in high spirits
A Russian man is travelling across Britain
A Russian man is travelling across Britain , he pops to a corner shop and buys some British Snacks to try. He takes the food to the Till and the cashier says: that'll be £12,50 please. To which the Russian replies Vat?
Oh that's already taken care of mate.
The fire service is attending to a man who is trapped after falling into a vat of bourbon at the Jim Beam factory.
Although, he is said to be in good spirits.
A man falls into a vat at a scotch distillery...
he drowns in the vat and the workers decide that despite this they'll still bottle this batch.
While tasting they agreed that despite the odd taste it was full bodied.
Did you hear about the comedian who fell in a big vat of piping hot oil?
Gilbert got fried.
(I apologize to Gilbert.)
Did you hear about the alcoholics who were drowning in a vat of cognac?
They were in good spirits, until they were rescued.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**...
h**... sits by a cliff. Calls a jew over and tells him to extend his arms in forward, and then throws him over. He then calls another jew and tells him to extend his arms upward, and again he throws him off the cliff. Then a guard asks him: "Hitlar, vat arr yu duing?" and h**... says: "I'm playing Tetris"
A Chinese Restaraunt had a giant vat of soup in their kitchen that weighed a lot.
It was wonton.
What happened to the man who drowned in a vat of cake mix?
He got pulled under by a currant.
Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years...
One day, he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned.
The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but poor old Murphy passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned."
She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?"
"No, no, I don't think so," said the foreman. "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
