Vat Jokes
55 vat jokes and hilarious vat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Vat Short Jokes
Short vat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vat humour may include short tax jokes also.
- A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.
- Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.
- My friend drowned himself in a vat of varnish. He had a horrible end, ...but a lovely finish.
- My uncle just died. He fell into a vat of polish at the furniture factory.
It was a terrible end but a lovely finish. - I had an uncle who worked at a whiskey factory. He fell into a vat and drowned 6 hours later. He would have drowned earlier but he got out 3 times to pee.
- My uncle accidentally fell into a vat of lacquer. He didn't have a good life, but he had a beautiful finish.
- My husband died after falling into a giant vat of coffee at work. He didn't suffer, it was instant.
- My friend fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, it was his quick reaction that killed him.
- In light of recent political tensions, please refrain from wishing Putin falls into a vat of concrete. That would set a very dangerous president.
- Did you hear about the guy who fell in a vat at the eyeglass factory? He really made a spectacle of himself.
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Vat One Liners
Which vat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vat? I can suggest the ones about brewery and overboard.
- A man was found dead in vat of ground chickpeas. Police are considering it a hummus-cide.
- I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I'm in whey over my head.
- Didja hear about the guy whose wife got trapped in a vatful of ink? She dyed.
- Meatloaf has married an accountant She will do anything for love but she won't do VAT.
- A rodent fell into a vat of hot cooking oil. It turned into a Chris Pratt
- If you push George W Bush into a vat of concrete. It would set a very bad president.
- My uncle drowned in a vat of beer... That said, he did get out three times to pee...
- Mayday, mayday, we are sinking. Zis iz za German coast guard vat are you sinking about?
- My uncle fell into a vat of curry at work He was in a korma for months.
- Met a girl at the park My VATS said I had a 0% chance to hit that.
- What did the cheese maker say when his vat got dumped to the floor? That's no gouda
- What do you call a man who steals large vats of Chinese noodles? A megalomeiniac.
- After falling into a vat of food coloring... I dyed
- A man fell into a hot vat at the Cadbury factory. He was bacon 'n eggs.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Vat Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about vat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tub jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vat pranks.
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
Two old guys are working at a sewage treatment plant
o**... goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
"What are you doing?!" he yells
"My coat fell in" his buddy yells back
"You're not really gonna wear that again are you?!"
"No, no. Gosh no, I'm not going to wear it. I have to get it back though, My teeth are in the pocket!"
(Just a silly joke my granddad told me yesterday. Didnt see it when I searched the sub so figured yall might enjoy)
The German Lifeguard
A group of friends were on a boat in Munich when the hull was breached.
They quickly called for the German Life Guard yelling "Help we're sinking!"
The Life Guard asked "Ja, vat are you sinking about?"
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me the truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three times to pee"
An Ole and Lena joke
Lena: "Der is trouble vit da car, sveetheart. It has vater in da carburetor."
Ole: "Vater in da carburetor? Dat is ridiculous."
Lena: "Ole, I tell you da car has vater in the carburetor."
Ole: "You don't even know vat a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Ver is da car?"
Lena: "In da lake."
A man decided to sail his boat from England to Russia
He starts his journey and everything is going great. That is, until he's passing Germany's northern coast. His ship begins taking on water and, in a panic, he radios the German Coast Guard.
"Help!" He says through the radio.
"Vat is it?" The German Coast Guard replies.
"I'm sinking!" The man says back.
The radio goes silent for a moment before the Coast Guard replies,
"Vell, vat are you sinking about?"
There's no way this isn't a repost but I just get cracked up every time I think of it.
A man knocked on Mrs Smith's door.
"I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident at the brewery," he said.
"Your husband fell into a giant vat of beer and drowned."
Mrs Smith started crying. "Oh poor thing, he had no chance!"
"I don't know about that," the man replied. "He got out three times to use the toilet."
A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.
I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.
'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'
'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.
'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.
'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a p**...'.
A story from a factory
One day, this guy's at work at a factory that makes glue and whiteout. These two substances are stored in these large vats. One day, the guy falls into one of the vats. His supervisor comes to help and the two start a conversation:
Guy: I'm okay. I just fell into the vat of glue.
Supervisor: You actually fell into the vat of whiteout. See, it says so right there.
Guy: I stand corrected.
A Man is sinking at sea...
In the state of emergency, he follows routine and calls the local coastguard:
''Help, I'm sinking! I'm sinking!''
The German on the other side quickly replies:
''Yes yes, but vat are you sinking about?!''
A tub, pail, can, basket, canister, vat, kettle, cask, p**..., keg, barrel, and bowl.
I needed to make a bucket list before I die.
One night, Mrs. McMillen answered the door to see her husbands bestfriend p**... standing on the doorstep.....
"Hello p**..., where is my husband? He went with you to the Guinness factory."
p**... shook his head and said "Ah Mrs. McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drown."
Mrs.McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?"
p**... shakes his head no, then says "Not really, he got out 3 times to pee."
So a ship is sinking and the captain radios for help to a near by ship, which happens to have a German captain. He says, "Help! We're sinking, we're sinking!"
To which the German captain replies "vat are you sinking about...?"
German life guard joke
A group of tourists were on a boat in hamburg when the engine exploded and created a fire in the bottom of the boat.
They quickly called up the German coast guard for the German Life. Who answered with "Ja, Hallo, dis is ze German Coast Guard, How can i help you?
They responded "Help we're sinking!"
The Life Guard asked "Ja, vat are you sinking about?"
An English sailor just off the coast of Germany discovers that his boat is taking on water.
Alarmed, he calls the German coastguard by radio: "Hello coastguard, I'm sinking, I'm sinking!"
There is a pause for a few seconds, before the coastguard replies, "OK ... Vat are you sinking about?"
Tragedy at the Guiness brewery
p**... O Reilly works at the Guiness brewery, one day Mrs O Reilly gets a knock on the door, it's the manager.....he tells her there was a terrible accident and her husband drowned in a vat of Guiness.
She is devastated and finally manages to s**......please tell me he went quickly and didnt suffer.
The manager replied, I'm afraid not, in fact he got out 3 times to pee
A British ship is sinking in the north sea and calls the nearest coast guard station.
The German coast guard station gets the message, RMS sea lion taking on water and we are sinking. A minute passes and they get a response....Vell, vat are you sinking about?
Tragedy at the Guinness factory
One night, a woman answers the door to see her husband's best friend, p**..., standing on the doorstep.
Hello p**..., where is my husband? He said he was going to the Guinness factory with you.
p**... shakes his head. Ah, Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned.
Mrs McMillen starts crying. Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?
p**... shakes his head. Not really – he got out three times to go to the toilet.
A Man Walks Up and Knocks on Mrs. O'Reilly's door.
Oh, Mrs. O'Reilly, I have terrible news. There was an accident at the brewery and your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned.
Oh! It must have been horrible, she cried!
Aye, we pulled him out three times.
Sad drowning death at the Guinness brewery.
Poor Shaumus fell in a large, deep vat of beer.
It was a real pity too.
He was able to get out twice to p**..., but could not make it out the third time.
How did the s**... feel when he jumped into a vat of m**... infused v**...?
He was in high spirits
Just been told my uncle tragically died at the brewery. He fell into a vat and drowned.
I don't think he suffered too much though, because he managed to get out twice to pee.
"Hello? Zis is ze German Costgärd."
"WE'RE SINKING WE'RE SINKING!!! I REPEAT, WE ARE SINKING!!!"
"Ah, yes! Vat are yu zinking about?
Grandpa was a healthy 82 when he fell in a vat of lard.
After that, he went downhill really fast...
My dad drowned while at work in a vat of cake mix
I know it sounds unlikely but there were some very strong currants
A Russian man is travelling across Britain
A Russian man is travelling across Britain , he pops to a corner shop and buys some British Snacks to try. He takes the food to the Till and the cashier says: that'll be £12,50 please. To which the Russian replies Vat?
Oh that's already taken care of mate.
