Vast Jokes
24 vast jokes and hilarious vast puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vast that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Vast Short Jokes
Short vast jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vast humour may include short extensive jokes also.
- How is working in I.T. like being a wizard? You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens.
- We live on a tiny, useless ball of rocks and water, floating through the vast expanse of outer space But it means the world to us.
- A 2018 report showed that the vast majority of bankers have no close friends Apparently they're all loaners
- Internet is Vastly different in UK than the USA they don't use cookies, they use biscuits.
- What's the difference between a man who chooses to have kids, and a man who chooses not to? I'd say there's a vast deferens between the two.
- The wife of a man who just got a vasectomy compares the before and after. She said there wasn't a vast difference.
- Canada is not a vast empty woodland. Our monetary system proves our civility. 5 beavers is worth a caribou
4 caribous are worth a loon
And 2 loons are worth a polar bear. - How can the eurologist tell if he is looking at a man or woman? Well, there is a vast difference.
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Vast One Liners
Which vast one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vast? I can suggest the ones about broad and enormous.
- What do you call a fat pirate? A vast matey.
- How big of a "ye matey" should a pirate have A vast ye matey
- Why did the businessman drown? Because he was swimming in a vast pool of resources.
Uplifting Vast Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about vast you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean massive jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vast pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As politically incorrect as it is to admit, there is a difference between men and women.
A vast deferens.
a programmer and astronaut walk into a bar
Astronaut: we are just tiny dots in this vast universe. What we do is insignificant. Why should we even do anything ? What's the point ?
Programmer: I should stop making these simulations so real.
A Texan at the Grand Canyon
I had a Slovakian friend who toured the Grand Canyon on his American holiday in a group with a Texan in it. They're standing on the precipice watching a sunset over the vast Southwest pastel and neon sky, when the Texan points to the stunning, striated canyon walls below and utters to my friend in a whisper, You know, I could fix that hole.
A Texan was talking to a rancher from Canada...
about the overseas market. The Texan was bragging about his huge herds and the vast amounts of money he was making shipping thousands of heads of cattle overseas every year to the Chinese market.
The Canadian, not wanting to be outdone, shot back, "Yeah? Well I ship that much cattle every month!"
The Texan looked at him for a moment, then smiled as he said, "Well, you got me there then. You clearly are the biggest bull shipper I ever met!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dark: Whats one thing you can do in a vast quantity without bothering with the quality?
Genocide
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I s**... identify as a vast body of water of more than 100 million square kilometres
Can I be trans-atlantic?
Three engineers were sitting in a bar talking about God
The electrical engineer says "God is clearly an electrical engineer. Look at the nervous system! The vast network of nerves and all those neurons firing..."
The mechanical engineer jumps in "No, God is obviously a mechanical engineer. What better example of the power of levers than the muscles, bones, ligaments, and tendons!"
The civil engineer says "You're both wrong. God is a civil engineer. Who else would run a waste disposal line right through a prime recreational area?"
A Brit visits America
A Brit visits America and as part of his tour, he is shown the vast corn fields of Iowa stretching away to the horizon and beyond.
"My word," he says, "What on earth do you *do* with it all?"
The farmer grins and replies, "We eat what we can and what we can't, we can."
The Brit is somewhat puzzled, but after the farmer explains, he laughs uproariously. "Well done, sir, well done!"
When he returns to the UK, a friend asks him what Americans are like. "Oh, they have a jolly good sense of humour. When I asked a farmer what he does with all of his maize, do you know what he said?"
"We consume what we are able, and what we are not, we tin."
A Canadian, an American, and a Pakistani are wandering through the desert
They're wandering along hoping to find some water or a ride out of the vast desert. As they trot along, the Canadian kicks a metal lamp that was buried in the sand. They pick it up and rub it, then out pops a genie.
The genie says, "since there are three men present I will grant you all one wish."
The Canadian quickly replies, " Good sir, if it's not too much trouble, I wish for Canada to thrive forever and always. May our lands be fertile, our hockey teams excellent, and our people even better." The genie nods his head and it is done.
The Pakistani insists on going next. He says, "Oh powerful djinn, I ask that you would surround the entire Muslim world with a wall so high that no western influence, soliders or bombs could corrupt or change our way of life. I pray that the Muslim people would be free to do as they wished forever and ever." The genie nods his head and it is done.
The American says, "fill his wall with water."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Son of a beech?
An oak and a maple were standing at the edge of a bluff gazing out over the vast expanse when they noticed a young sapling in the glen below.
"Oh look," said the oak. "A young son of a beech."
"Actually I think it's son of a birch," said the maple.
They turned to a male woodpecker hammering away in a nearby box elder. "Hey w**...," the oak called out. "Would you mind flying down and checking out that young sapling in the glen? Maple here says it's a son of a birch but I think it's a son of a beech."
The woodpecker flew down and a few minutes later came back, perching on one of the oak's branches. "Well," he said. "Turns out you were both wrong. That is the finest piece of ash this old p**...'s gotten into in a long time."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Blonde Genies
A guy finds a lamp and rubs it. Out pop two blonde genies. They thank him and offer him 3 wishes. He thinks for a minute, and *p**...*...
He's in a vast room filled with $100 bills to his waist. He looks across the room and sees a door. He makes his way through the money to the door and opens it...
Now he is in another room filled with beautiful, n**... women. He looks across the room and sees another door. He fondles his way across the room to that door and opens it...
Where he finds the two blonde genies who drag him to a tree and hang him by the neck until he is dead.
As they are walking away the one turns to the other and says, "I understand why he wanted wealth beyond his wildest dreams. I understand why he wanted to be surrounded by beautiful, n**... women. By, why in the world did he want to be hung like a black man?"
