Uplifting Vast Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
Vast majority of folks in Dubai do not like the Flintstones, but most in Abu Dhabi do.
How is working in I.T. like being a wizard?
You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens.
New studies show that the vast majority of violent crimes are committed by the children of immigrants.
And it's been that way since 1607.
What do you call a dinosaur that is large, immense, huge, collosal, gigantic, vast, enormous, titanic, massive and big?
A thesaurus.
We live on a tiny, useless ball of rocks and water, floating through the vast expanse of outer space
But it means the world to us.
A 2018 report showed that the vast majority of bankers have no close friends
Apparently they're all loaners
What do you call a fat pirate?
A vast matey.
As politically incorrect as it is to admit, there is a difference between men and women.
A vast deferens.
I went to the zoo..
When I got to the zoo I saw there weren't many people at all, just me in fact, and there were only a few workers. I walked around for a while and saw nothing. On my way to the exit I asked one of the workers what was up. He directed me to the far corner of the zoo, this whole zoo, as vast as it was only had one animal. It was a shitzu.
How big of a "ye matey" should a pirate have
A vast ye matey
a programmer and astronaut walk into a bar
Astronaut: we are just tiny dots in this vast universe. What we do is insignificant. Why should we even do anything ? What's the point ?
Programmer: I should stop making these simulations so real.
You can explore vast expanse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean vast mound dad jokes. There are also vast puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A Texan at the Grand Canyon
I had a Slovakian friend who toured the Grand Canyon on his American holiday in a group with a Texan in it. They're standing on the precipice watching a sunset over the vast Southwest pastel and neon sky, when the Texan points to the stunning, striated canyon walls below and utters to my friend in a whisper, You know, I could fix that hole.
A Texan was talking to a rancher from Canada...
about the overseas market. The Texan was bragging about his huge herds and the vast amounts of money he was making shipping thousands of heads of cattle overseas every year to the Chinese market.
The Canadian, not wanting to be outdone, shot back, "Yeah? Well I ship that much cattle every month!"
The Texan looked at him for a moment, then smiled as he said, "Well, you got me there then. You clearly are the biggest bull shipper I ever met!"
What's the difference between a man who chooses to have kids, and a man who chooses not to?
I'd say there's a vast deferens between the two.
The wife of a man who just got a vasectomy compares the before and after.
She said there wasn't a vast difference.
Canada is not a vast empty woodland. Our monetary system proves our civility.
5 beavers is worth a caribou
4 caribous are worth a loon
And 2 loons are worth a polar bear.
Dark: Whats one thing you can do in a vast quantity without bothering with the quality?
Genocide
Two penguins are rowing a boat in a vast desert of sand.
Where's your oar? Asks one to the other. Sure do. The other reply's.
I sexually identify as a vast body of water of more than 100 million square kilometres
Can I be trans-atlantic?
Almost all scientists agree that people get their pants from monkeys and what's even worse
is that they also say that our jeans are responsible for the vast majority of our physical appearance!
