The Best 65 Vasectomy Jokes

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent my wife from getting pregnant

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent my wife from getting pregnant.

Apparently, all it does is change the color of the baby.

My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.

They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way as they weren't man haters!

For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.

How does a guy prove he's tough?

He jogs home after his vasectomy.

.

Fairly old, vasectomies may not be so bad any longer.

I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next Wednesday, but I am a little worried.

I hear it can make a vas deferens in my sex life.

Two men discuss vasectomies...

First: "I'm thinking about getting a vasectomy, but I'm worried about performance..."
Second:" I had one, I was worried at first but after a while I realized there just wasn't a vas deferens"

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant

But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby

During his annual checkup, a man tells his doctor he is thinking about getting a vasectomy

The doctor tells him that it's a very important decision and asks if he has had a chance to discuss it with his family. The man says,"Yeah, and they are in favor of it 15 to 7."

When my cab driver found out I was gay, he told me this joke. I approve.

Q: What do you call a gay man with a vasectomy?

A: Seedless fruit.

Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids.

Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids, it just made them a different colour.

A vasectomy can make a vas deferens in your life

if a fat doctor gives you a vasectomy, why should you ask him about the weather?

because he's a meaty urologist!

After my vasectomy I thought I couldn't get my wife pregenant

Apparently it just changes the color of the baby

A friend of mine told me that sex after a vasectomy would hurt.

But to be honest I haven't noticed a vas deferens.

I had a vasectomy today, and my wife keeps asking how I feel...

I've had to tell her over and over that it's not that bad, and that I don't notice much of a vas deferens.

Urologist told me a joke during my vasectomy...

So during my vasectomy it was just me and the younger female doctor in the room. She was talking with me to distract me and said you want to hear a good vasectomy joke? Of course I said yes, not knowing it was going to go this way.

If a Bluebird has blue babies, a blackbird has black babies, a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?

A Swallow!

Vasectomy misunderstanding

She told me I mis heard the doctor, Apparently it doesn't stop your wife getting pregnant, just affects the colour of the baby.

I thought a vasectomy wouldn't get my wife pregnant..

Turns out, all it does is just change the color of the baby.

My wife told me to get a vasectomy to stop her from getting pregnant.

But it turns out it just made our baby black.

Two women are discussing their love lives

Jo says: "I have to be careful not to get pregnant."

Jenny looks confused. "But I thought Tony recently had a vasectomy."

"He did." says Jo. "That's why I need to be extra careful."

So I got a vasectomy...

Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby.

I was told a vasectomy would prevent my wife and I from having a baby...

Turns out it just turns the baby black.

I had a vasectomy. Did you know that it actually doesn't prevent your wife from getting pregnant it just changes the color of the baby.

Or at least that's what my mailman said.

I had vasectomy so my wife wouldn't get pregnant...

But apparently all it does is change the color of your baby

I got a vasectomy

I was told it would keep her from getting pregnant, turns out all it does is change the color of the baby.

Vasectomy or no vasectomy,

Vas the deferens.

(I'll show myself out)

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any more children.

Apparently a vasectomy doesn't stop you from having children, it only changes the colour of their skin.

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want to have kids.

But when I came back home, they were still there.

I had a vasectomy.

The doctors will tell you that you won't be able to have kids anymore. I'm here to tell you that it just changes the color of the kids. #stayinformed

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent birth

But apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

Can't get pregnant

Stacy: I have to be very careful, i just can't get pregnant now.

Tiffany: Didn't your husband get a vasectomy?

Stacy: Exactly!

The lesbians next door

My lesbian neighbors wanted me to help them conceive a child and agreed to do it the old fashioned way because they are very easy going. We've been trying for three months and I haven't had the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year...

I really counted on my vasectomy to keep my girl from getting pregnant...

but apparently it only changes the baby's skin color...

I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still had a baby...

...apparently all a vasectomy does is change the colour of the baby.

I got a vasectomy two years ago.

Turns out is doesn't stop you from having kids, they just come out in different colours.

I got a vasectomy,

But apparently all it does is change the color of the baby.

What is the title for a movie about a man who is going to get his vasectomy reversed?

Scrotal Recall!

I was disappointed to find out a vasectomy doesn't prevent you from getting your wife pregnant.

It just changes the color of the baby. :(

Did you hear about the surgeon who botched a vasectomy?

he got the sack

My dad had a vasectomy because he didn't want kids anymore

But when he got home from the hospital we were still there

Two newly weds were discussing how many kids they will have

He: We will have two kids.
She: I want three kids.
He: No, I will have vasectomy after the second one.
She: I hope you treat the third one also as your own.

"I don't think the vasectomy worked", said the redneck to his friend.

"Why, you get yo wife pregnant?" asked the friend.

"Yeah not only that, the baby came out all black."

After getting a vasectomy a guy complains to his buddy that they don't work since his wife still keeps getting pregnant.

The buddy says "mine didn't work either, it just made the babies come out black"

A guy complains to his buddy that he went to the Dr for a vasectomy since he doesn't want any kids, but it didn't work.

When he got home, the kids were still there.

I asked my friend if sex changed much after his vasectomy.

He said he didn't see a vas deferens.

Didn't want to have children any more so I went and got a vasectomy

But when I came home they were still here...

I didn't want anymore children, so I finally got a vasectomy.

I was pretty disappointed when I got home and my kids were still there.

Her: You got a vasectomy without telling me! Are you serious?

Me: Yes, I'm not kidding you.

Wife told me if I really didn't want anymore kids to get a vasectomy

All it did was change the color of our next one.

I used to think that a vasectomy prevented you from having a kid

Turns out it just changes the color (:

Told my wife I got a vasectomy and she said "Are you serious?"

Yup - I'm not kidding you

I had a vasectomy so I won't have kids

But when I got home, they were still there.

My vasectomy was supposed to change everything.

I haven't noticed a vas deferens after the procedure.

after a vasectomy, make sure to ice your nuts

it makes a vas deferens.

The doctor's price for my vasectomy was a little high for me, but my offer was too low for him.

In the end we split the deferens.

I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still got pregnant...

I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still got pregnant. Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the colour of the baby.

I wasted my time on a vasectomy.

All it does is change the color of the baby.

My wife said, You got a vasectomy without telling me. Are you serious?

I said, I'm not kidding you.

What do you call an artist who had a vasectomy?

Seriously, does anyone know?

I'm drawing a blank here.

Red neck decision making

A redneck family has already 4 kids when the husband announces to the wife that he will get a vasectomy.

Perplex to understand his sudden decision the wife asks him why. He replied i read that 1 in every 5 Americans is Hispanic, and I cannot bear the risk of getting one into this family

I'm getting a vasectomy tomorrow

I'll tell my urologist she can start with either side because ultimately it doesn't make a vas deferens.

I got a vasectomy but my gf still got pregnant.

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

I learned that the vasectomy was invented by the Ancient Greek physician Euclipides.

Euclipides nuts.

A vasectomy doesn't stop you from fathering children

It appears that it just changes the color of the baby.

I had always thought becoming sterile through testicular trauma was the same as having a vasectomy

Turns out, there's a vas deferens

I thought with my vasectomy my wife wouldn't be able to get pregnant.

I guess it just changes the color of the baby.