Vasectomy Jokes

104 vasectomy jokes and hilarious vasectomy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vasectomy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover some of the funniest vasectomy jokes out there! We've scoured the internet and gathered together the best vasectomy cartoons, candy, recovery plans, food, and more. Plus, find out if Jake Peralta from Brooklyn 99 really got that vasectomy! Whether you're looking for a chuckle or just want to learn more about male vasectomy, you'll love these seedless jokes about appendectomies and surgical procedures.

Quick Jump To

Short Vasectomy Jokes
Vasectomy One Liners
More Vasectomy Jokes

Best Short Vasectomy Jokes

Short vasectomy puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vasectomy humour may include short abortion jokes also.

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want to have kids. But when I came back home, they were still there.
I thought a vasectomy wouldn't get my wife pregnant.. Turns out, all it does is just change the color of the baby.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby
When my cab driver found out I was gay, he told me this joke. I approve. Q: What do you call a gay man with a vasectomy?
A: Seedless fruit.
I thought vasectomies were supposed to keep me from getting my wife pregnant?? Apparently, it just changes the color of the baby. Go figure.
My Wife said :- You got vasectomy without even telling me . Are you serious ? I said :- I am not kidding you .
I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still had a baby... ...apparently all a vasectomy does is change the colour of the baby.
I got a vasectomy but my gf still got pregnant. Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.
After my vasectomy I thought I couldn't get my wife pregenant Apparently it just changes the color of the baby
I was disappointed to find out a vasectomy doesn't prevent you from getting your wife pregnant. It just changes the color of the baby. :(

Vasectomy joke, I was disappointed to find out a vasectomy doesn't prevent you from getting your wife pregnant.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about vasectomy can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of vasectomy puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share Jokes With Friends

Vasectomy One Liners

Which vasectomy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vasectomy? I can suggest the ones about circumcision and contraception.

Got a vasectomy years ago But all it did was the change the color of the baby
I had a vasectomy so I won't have kids But when I got home, they were still there.
So I got a vasectomy... Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby.
Told my wife I got a vasectomy and she said "Are you serious?" Yup - I'm not kidding you
I got a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids. When I got home, they were still there.
I wasted my time on a vasectomy. All it does is change the color of the baby.
I got a vasectomy, But apparently all it does is change the color of the baby.
A vasectomy can make a vas deferens in your life
Vasectomy or no vasectomy, Vas the deferens.
(I'll show myself out)
Did you hear about the surgeon who botched a vasectomy? he got the sack
after a vasectomy, make sure to ice your nuts it makes a vas deferens.
didn't know you had a vasectomy last year… I kid you not.
They were having a sale at the hospital for vasectomies... It was a package deal.
I got a vasectomy last week. So far I don't notice any deferens.
What do vasectomies and breathalyzers have in common? The goal is to blow a zero.

Vasectomy joke, What do vasectomies and breathalyzers have in common?

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Vasectomy Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about vasectomy you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean castrated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make vasectomy prank.

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent my wife from getting pregnant

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent my wife from getting pregnant.
Apparently, all it does is change the color of the baby.

My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.

They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way as they weren't man haters!
For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.

I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next Wednesday, but I am a little worried.

I hear it can make a vas deferens in my s**... life.

Two men discuss vasectomies...

First: "I'm thinking about getting a vasectomy, but I'm worried about performance..."
Second:" I had one, I was worried at first but after a while I realized there just wasn't a vas deferens"

You know what they say about vasectomies...

There's a vas deferens between the good ones and the bad ones.
Thought of this yesterday, probobally done before but whatever

During his annual checkup, a man tells his doctor he is thinking about getting a vasectomy

The doctor tells him that it's a very important decision and asks if he has had a chance to discuss it with his family. The man says,"Yeah, and they are in favor of it 15 to 7."

Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids.

Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids, it just made them a different colour.

if a fat doctor gives you a vasectomy, why should you ask him about the weather?

because he's a meaty urologist!

A friend of mine told me that s**... after a vasectomy would hurt.

But to be honest I haven't noticed a vas deferens.

I had a vasectomy today, and my wife keeps asking how I feel...

I've had to tell her over and over that it's not that bad, and that I don't notice much of a vas deferens.

Some people think vasectomies and castration are similar procedures

but there's a vas deferens between the two.

Urologist told me a joke during my vasectomy...

So during my vasectomy it was just me and the younger female doctor in the room. She was talking with me to distract me and said you want to hear a good vasectomy joke? Of course I said yes, not knowing it was going to go this way.
If a Bluebird has blue babies, a blackbird has black babies, a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?
A s**...!

Vasectomy misunderstanding

She told me I mis heard the doctor, Apparently it doesn't stop your wife getting pregnant, just affects the colour of the baby.

My wife told me to get a vasectomy to stop her from getting pregnant.

But it turns out it just made our baby black.

Two women are discussing their love lives

Jo says: "I have to be careful not to get pregnant."
Jenny looks confused. "But I thought Tony recently had a vasectomy."
"He did." says Jo. "That's why I need to be extra careful."

I was told a vasectomy would prevent my wife and I from having a baby...

Turns out it just turns the baby black.

I had a vasectomy. Did you know that it actually doesn't prevent your wife from getting pregnant it just changes the color of the baby.

Or at least that's what my mailman said.

I had vasectomy so my wife wouldn't get pregnant...

But apparently all it does is change the color of your baby

I got a vasectomy

I was told it would keep her from getting pregnant, turns out all it does is change the color of the baby.

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any more children.

Apparently a vasectomy doesn't stop you from having children, it only changes the colour of their skin.

I had a vasectomy.

The doctors will tell you that you won't be able to have kids anymore. I'm here to tell you that it just changes the color of the kids. #stayinformed

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent birth

But apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

Can't get pregnant

Stacy: I have to be very careful, i just can't get pregnant now.
Tiffany: Didn't your husband get a vasectomy?
Stacy: Exactly!

The l**... next door

My lesbian neighbors wanted me to help them conceive a child and agreed to do it the old fashioned way because they are very easy going. We've been trying for three months and I haven't had the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year...

I really counted on my vasectomy to keep my girl from getting pregnant...

but apparently it only changes the baby's skin color...

I got a vasectomy two years ago.

Turns out is doesn't stop you from having kids, they just come out in different colours.

What is the title for a movie about a man who is going to get his vasectomy reversed?

Scrotal Recall!

My dad had a vasectomy because he didn't want kids anymore

But when he got home from the hospital we were still there

Two newly weds were discussing how many kids they will have

He: We will have two kids.
She: I want three kids.
He: No, I will have vasectomy after the second one.
She: I hope you treat the third one also as your own.

"I don't think the vasectomy worked", said the r**... to his friend.

"Why, you get yo wife pregnant?" asked the friend.
"Yeah not only that, the baby came out all black."

After getting a vasectomy a guy complains to his buddy that they don't work since his wife still keeps getting pregnant.

The buddy says "mine didn't work either, it just made the babies come out black"

A guy complains to his buddy that he went to the Dr for a vasectomy since he doesn't want any kids, but it didn't work.

When he got home, the kids were still there.

I asked my friend if s**... changed much after his vasectomy.

He said he didn't see a vas deferens.

Didn't want to have children any more so I went and got a vasectomy

But when I came home they were still here...

I didn't want anymore children, so I finally got a vasectomy.

I was pretty disappointed when I got home and my kids were still there.

Her: You got a vasectomy without telling me! Are you serious?

Me: Yes, I'm not kidding you.

Wife told me if I really didn't want anymore kids to get a vasectomy

All it did was change the color of our next one.

I used to think that a vasectomy prevented you from having a kid

Turns out it just changes the color (:

My wife said, You got a vasectomy without telling me. Are you serious?

I said, I'm not kidding you.

My friend is planning to do vasectomies on killer whales.

But he prefers the term orchestrating

I'm getting a vasectomy tomorrow

I'll tell my urologist she can start with either side because ultimately it doesn't make a vas deferens.

A vasectomy doesn't stop you from fathering children

It appears that it just changes the color of the baby.

I had always thought becoming sterile through testicular trauma was the same as having a vasectomy

Turns out, there's a vas deferens

I thought with my vasectomy my wife wouldn't be able to get pregnant.

I guess it just changes the color of the baby.

What do you call a cheap vasectomy?

A b**... ripoff

A doctor accidentally emailed the results of all his vasectomy patients to everyone on the internet.

They were publicly desemenated.

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any children

When I got home, there were still there

I went to the doctor to get a vasectomy.

The doctor said, "This a really big decision you know. Have you discussed it with your wife and kids?
I said, "Yes, they're in favor 14 to 3.."

My friend asked me if s**... was any different after my vasectomy.

I said, I don't notice a vas deferens.

Pedro reaches the doctor's clinic

Pedro reaches the doctor's clinic looking very despondent.
Doc: What're you here for?
Pedro: The vasectomy camp.
Dr: Oh ok. How many kids do you have?
Pedro: None. I am not even married !!
Dr (shocked): Then why do you want a vasectomy?
Pedro: Every man in the village got it done over the last few years. Now whenever their wives conceive, they come and beat me up !!!

Think it Over

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yeah," said the man, "They're in favor of it, 15-to-2."

When I was younger,

when I was younger, a lot younger, I used to think that vasectomies and circumcisions were the same thing. Now I know there's a vas deferens

The kids don't know the difference between castration and a vasectomy.

True story:
Fellow teacher in the lounge during lunch: They have no knowledge of basic human anatomy. They thought that getting a vasectomy meant having your b**... chopped off.
Me: When it comes to the difference between castration and a vasectomy, there is a vas deferens.
Thanks Reddit for letting me steal a joke and use it on the wild.

My wife asked me how s**... felt after my vasectomy.

I told her I didn't notice any vas deferens.

A man tells his wife:

"I'm getting a vasectomy..."
The wife, surprised, asks him if he's joking.
He replies, "No, I'm not kidding you!"

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want kids

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want kids.
Unfortunately when I got home they were still there.

What does a man who's had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?

Decorative b**....

My wife wanted me to get a Vasectomy

Since we were both on our late 30 and we were not planning on having more children
I told her: but what if 10-15 years from now something happens to you And I remarry with a much younger woman? She would want children wouldn't she ?
Now I don't need a Vasectomy, the kick was hard enough to prevent further offspring

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these vasectomy jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.