Variety Jokes
25 variety jokes and hilarious variety puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about variety that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Variety Short Jokes
Short variety jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The variety humour may include short diversity jokes also.
- You probably know how most cheese is produced, and the steps taken to make the different varieties of cheese, but did you know Edam is made backwards?
- The store I worked at fired me for not putting enough variety on their soft drinks display. Apparently I had too many lines of coke.
- Two watermelons fall in love and want to get married. Alas, weddings of that variety haven't been legalised yet meaning they cantaloupe
- What's the difference between a circus and a sorority? The circus features a variety of Cunning Stunts ...
- What does a sandwich shop and an adult film casting agency have in common? Both offer 6 and 12 inches in many varieties.
- Vera Lynn used to work at an Arctic research station. She wrote a protest song about the lack of variety in the staff canteen. Whale meat again?
- What do you call cheese that ain't yours? "Camembert", typically. It can be very difficult to budget for the expensive varieties
- I called the pet store to ask if they sell exotic cats. "Yes" he said. "Serval Varieties"
^I ^better ^see ^some ^horrible ^retaliatory ^puns ^in ^the ^comments - I was enjoying a variety of different barbecue items until I began choking It was the wurst.
- So the school nurse gave my daughter 12 kinds of shampoo... She said variety was the spite of lice
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Variety One Liners
Which variety one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with variety? I can suggest the ones about miscellaneous and plethora.
- Yo Mama so fat, when she breaks a plate… It's usually of the tectonic variety.
- A degree in agriculture is great to have. It allows you to work in a variety of fields.
- What was Robin Hood's favourite variety of font? Sans-sheriff
- What kind of tree holds the widest variety of fruit? The pantry.
- What's the difference between a variety and a varietal? The price of the coffee.
- What do you call a Vietnamese family reunion? A variety of Tings
- Did you know that a variety of lettuce sank the titanic? I thought it sank just cos.
- I eat a wide variety of foods: lasagna, tacos, hamburgers... and dim sum.
Delightful Fun Variety Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about variety you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean multi jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make variety pranks.
Whata country..
You might remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff. When he first came to the United States from Russia he was not prepared for the incredible variety of instant products available in American grocery stores.
He says, "On my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk -- you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice -- you just add water, and you get orange juice. And then I saw baby powder, and I thought to my self, "What a country!"
Jewish ad campaign
Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."
The toilet brush
A man walks into a store looking for a toilet brush. The store owner shows him a variety of brushes at various pricepoints. The man thinks for a little while, then buys the cheapest one.
The next day the man is back at the store. "Were you unhappy with your purchase?" asks the shopkeeper. "We have other models that might work better."
The man agrees and buys a little more expensive one.
The next day the man is back yet again. The shopkeeper, visually puzzled on how a toilet brush can be such a big deal, asks "What's the matter, didn't like the new one either?"
"Well" replies the man. "To be honest it *was* pretty effective. But I gotta say, I prefer toilet paper!"
Due to an increase in popularity, koi farmers are discovering an increase in counterfeit fish.
They've begun using a lettered grading scale:
As are the most rare of purebred koi's
Bs are the more common variety purebred koi's
Cs are mix/hybrid koi's
Everything else are D koi's
Two sailors are on shore leave. They have a few drinks and decide to go to a variety show. At the intermission one of them needs to pee and asks directions from the usher. Go through the exit, turn left along the corridor, turn first right, then left, then right again, he says.
The sailor follows the directions with some difficulty, relieves himself, and eventually finds his way back to his seat. You missed the best act, says his friend. While you were gone a sailor came on-stage and p**... into the orchestra pit.
Dracula
Dracula is walking down the street one fine evening when a speeding lorry carrying mini sausage rolls, sandwiches, a variety of salads, dressed salmon, quiches and cold meats loses control, overturns and spills all that food. All this wreckage hits Dracula and with his dying breath he curses buffet the vampire slayer
Boo me all you like, I just made it up.
I was at the local library trying to find a specific sound for my video project; that of a displeased audience. I was repeatedly listening to a variety of samples through the miniature speakers on the desk.
Unbeknownst to me, a lady who was sat at the desk in the next cubicle was growing irritated and she leant over,startling me, and screamed PICK A BOO!
What an odd game to play with another adult in a library.
TIFU by getting k**... with a variety of citrus fruits...
Ive just tested positive for lemonaids.
I don't know why everyone is complaining about gender inequality in the film industry . . .
Just the other day I saw *several* movies starring women in a variety of roles, such as a teacher, a pizza delivery girl, and a naughty horse trainer.
