Vanilla Jokes
91 vanilla jokes and hilarious vanilla puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vanilla that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is a collection of the funniest jokes about vanilla. If you like simple, clean humor, then you'll love these vanilla jokes.
Quick Jump To
- Short Vanilla Jokes
- Vanilla One Liners
- Vanilla Ice Jokes
- Vanilla Ice Cream Jokes
- Strawberry Vanilla Jokes
- More Vanilla Jokes
Funniest Vanilla Short Jokes
Short vanilla jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vanilla humour may include short cinnamon jokes also.
- If you ask Vanilla Ice's mother about his childhood... she'll tell you that he was a nice, nice baby.
- How do you make an elephant float? A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant.
- I told my sister that if you rearrange the letters in 'vanilla' you get 'pirate' Her: no you don't
Me: yes, 'a villain' with a missing i.
Note: true story - What do you get when you eat unsalted butter, all-purpose flour, baking powder, sugar, raw eggs, vanilla extract and whole milk? A stomach cake!
- It was reported vanilla ice was last off the quarantined plane. Officials remarked it was necessary as he was the illest.
- How do you make a dead baby float? -2 scoops vanilla icecream
-2 scoops baby
-Add rootbeer and serve - What would you call the tiki torch brigade in Charlottesville if they formed a band? Vanilla Isis
- In our fridge there is condensed milk, evaporated milk, vanilla and eggs. So I put a sticker on it saying, "Warning: Highly Flannable."
- Did you know that Vanilla Ice is now working as a computer literacy instructor? He's at the community college teaching word to your mother.
- I like my women how I like my coffee. Medium cold, French Vanilla and caramel Swirl, Regular.
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Vanilla One Liners
Which vanilla one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vanilla? I can suggest the ones about vans and cocoa.
- I don't know why, but my vanilla candle isnt working. It just doesn't make any scents
- I saw Vanilla Ice at Madison Square Garden. He sold me a hot dog.
- Vanilla Ice became a father... he has a nice nice baby.
- What's the difference between vanilla and French vanilla ice cream? Cowardice.
- How do you make Vanilla Ice? You put water Under Pressure.
- I once saw a ghost made of chocolate and vanilla Ice creamed
- What flavor does anime absolutely hate? Anything vanilla, apparently
- What do you call an Arabic rapper? Vanilla Isis
- What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and French vanilla ice cream? Cowardice
- What is Batman's least favorite ice cream? Vanilla Bane!
- How do you make a dead baby float? 2 scoops vanilla, 1 scoop dead baby.
- Why was the vanilla early for work? Because it is not choc-late.
- What's Adam Ant's favourite flavour of ice cream? Standard Vanilla
- What would you call Vanilla Ice if he was asian? Yellow Snow.
- What do you call a Half Mexican/Half American person Vanilla Bean
Vanilla Ice Jokes
Here is a list of funny vanilla ice jokes and even better vanilla ice puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Someone gave me a white noise machine to help me sleep. It didn't work. Then again, its hard to sleep with Vanilla Ice playing in the background
- "I'd like two scoops of ice cream, please." "Chocolate or vanilla?"
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, Sir, ice cream man, Sir!" - I like my ice cream like I like my women. Plain vanilla, and hopefully if it lies around long enough it will get wet so I don't have to do much with my mouth.
- Why do diners in Kansas put a red star next to Vanilla ice cream? to warn that it may be considered "too spicey" for the average customer
- Why did Vanilla Ice get fired from the border detention camp? The boss said migrant children need beatings every day and he's only a 1-Hit Wonder
- What do you call it when you study the Quran while eating a scoop of vanilla ice cream? Allah mode
- What is the official ice cream flavor of the Academy Awards? Vanilla, because it's all white.
- Vanilla Ice has no one to blame but himself for his reputation. He created his own bad rap.
- What is Vanilla Ice' favorite type of chewing gum? Dentyn Ice Ice Baby.
- Who is Vanilla Ice's arch enemy? Chocolate De-Icer
Vanilla Ice Cream Jokes
Here is a list of funny vanilla ice cream jokes and even better vanilla ice cream puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a t**... with a scoop of vanilla ice cream? Allah mode.
- Why don't ice creams have fetishes? They prefer vanilla s**....
Strawberry Vanilla Jokes
Here is a list of funny strawberry vanilla jokes and even better strawberry vanilla puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Today is the Dali Lamas 82nd birthday but he couldn't decide if he wanted a vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry birthday cake... ...so he decided to be made one with everything.
- Strawberries are red, chocolate is brown. Why did you choose vanilla you simple clown.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Vanilla Jokes
What funny jokes about vanilla you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean white van jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vanilla pranks.
I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:
Nelly
Erika Badu
Vanilla Ice
Eminem
Rhianna
Green Day
Oasis
Nirvana
Nine inch Nails
Aerosmith
George Strait
Ilene Woods
Vince Gill
Enya
Yoko ono
Otis Redding
U2
Uncle Kracker
Pappa Roach
It is okay if you disagree just let me know, but first read the first letter of each line only.
A guy driving through Alaska has car trouble.
He finds a garage in town, and the mechanic tells him he'll check out the car, and to go across the street to the diner and have lunch during the wait, because it will take about 30 minutes.
The guy goes to the diner, then back to the garage in a half hour, and asks the mechanic what's up.
Mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
Guy wipes his mouth and says, "No - that was just the vanilla ice cream I had for dessert."
A lady walks into an ice cream shop.
"Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.
"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man is frustrated at this point and decides to teach her a lesson.
"Ma'am, do you see the 'van' in vanilla?"
"Yes," she says.
"Do you also see the 'straw' in strawberry?"
"I do."
"Ma'am, do you see the 'frick' in chocolate?"
"There's no 'frick' in chocolate..."
"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"
A penguin notices his car is leaking fluid...
so he takes it to the closest garage. Mechanic says he'll check it out, and to come back in a half hour. The penguin sees a Dairy Queen, strolls over, and buys himself a vanilla cone. Being a penguin, without hands, he makes quite a mess, getting ice cream all over himself. When he gets back to check on his car, the mechanic looks up, shakes his head, and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies, "Na, it's just ice cream."
A polar bear brings his car in to the mechanic
Mechanic tells him that it will be a few hours so the polar bear goes over to the supermarket and buys a bucket of vanilla ice cream. It's a hot sunny day and he goes over to the park bench to eat it. Then he wanders back to the garage. "Looks like you blew a seal," the mechanic says. "Oh no," the polar bear laughs, wiping his moth. "That's just ice cream."
Today I was offered s**...
I was offered s**... today, with a 21 year old girl, in exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.
- Source - facebook though it was funny so I though I'd share.
A penguin's car breaks down
He pulls over to a shop owned by a walrus who tells him he'll look at it. The Penguin takes a stroll and buys a vanilla treat.
The Penguin gets back and the Walrus say
"Looks like you've blown a seal"
The Penguin wipes his chin and says..
"No, No, it's just ice cream."
A lady walks into a dry cleaners...
...she's carrying a beautiful black dress. She tells the clerk, "I'll need to pick this up tomorrow."
The clerk, hard of hearing and distracted, innocently asks, "come again?"
Unfazed, she replies, "No. Vanilla ice cream this time."
How many German Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to dress up in a gorilla suit and one to fill a bath tub full of vanilla pudding.
I was offered s**... from a 21 year old girl today
In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.
Seals
A penguin is driving along in his car when it breaks down. Fortunately, there's a mechanic nearby and the car can be repaired.
While the car is in the garage, the penguin decides to waddle to the town to get a vanilla ice-cream. He eats it but forgets to wipe his mouth.
When he returns to the garage, the mechanic says "I think you blew a seal". The penguin replies "Nope, that's just ice-cream!"
The wife asked, "why do you smell like vanilla?"
I don't know, the stripper smelled like orange.
I went to a lawyer to review some documents.
I told him everything had to be "plain and simple" if I was going to sign away some of my rights.
He said to me, "Oh, so you like vanilla waivers."
As the k**... are so full of hate, bigotry and want to rid America of others...
Should we call them Vanilla Isis ?
A penguin was driving down the street eating a vanilla ice cream cone.
He started having car trouble, so he pulled to the side of the road.
A little while later some cops pull up to help.
After they check his car, they tell him, "It looks like you blew a seal" and he goes, "Oh, no, I was just eating an ice cream cone"
A mommy mole, daddy mole, and baby mole are together in their burrow
Mommy mole sticks her head out and sniffs the air. She asks, "What's that smell? Is it brown sugar?"
Daddy mole sticks his head out to sniff around, "No I don't think so. Smells like vanilla to me."
The baby mole still in the burrow says "I don't know what you guys are talking about. All I can smell is molasses!"
Penguin.
A penguin goes to get his car fixed at the mechanics on a hot day. Mechanic tells penguin it will be a while, so the penguin goes to the shop across the road and get some yummy vanilla icecream. The penguin returns to the mechanic and the mechanic says "looks like you've blown a seal.". the penguin replies "no it's only icecream."
I was offered s**... by a 22-year old woman in exchange that I'd advertise some detergent powder for her
Of course I said no because of my strong will power. Which is just as strong as Vanish. The super strong detergent powder now 20% off and available in scented vanilla or lemon.
Penguin
A penguin is driving his car into town when it starts to smoke. He brings it to the local garage and asks the mechanic to look at it.
"I'll be across the street at the drug store." he tells him. He goes to the drugstore and orders a dish of vanilla ice cream which he has to eat with his beak because of his short arms.
He finishes up and goes back to the garage. The mechanic comes out and says "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says "That's just a little ice cream."
An Eskimo drops his truck off at the shop
I'll be back in an hour says the Eskimo
The Eskimo stops at an ice cream shop on the way back. Upon returning, the Eskimo asks the mechanic
What's wrong with my truck?
To which the mechanical responds
It looks like you blew a seal.
The Eskimo frantically replies
It's vanilla ice cream, I swear!
A penguin is driving down the highway when he starts having engine problems.
He pulls into a local mechanic's and the mechanic says, Give me an hour and I'll let you know the problem. The penguin walks out and see an ice cream shop and goes in for a vanilla cone.
An hour later, he walks back to the mechanic's. The mechanic see him coming and meets him at the counter and says, It looks like you've blown a seal.
The penguin wipes his mouth and says, No, no, that's just ice cream.
If brown cake tastes like chocolate and white cake tastes like vanilla, what does yellow cake taste like?
Uranium
A penguins car broke down
So he went to the mechanic who said he needed about an hour to check it out. To kill Time the penguin went across the street to get some vanilla ice cream. Since penguins have no hands he made an awful mess getting the ice cream all over his beak. When he returned the mechanic said it looks like you blew a seal To which the penguin replied no it's just ice cream.
A penguin sent his car to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...
He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.
Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.
Penguin: Ah no that's just ice cream.
I'm so pale...
I'm so pale that when I went outside last winter, the neighborhood kids said, "Hey, look! Frosty's on a diet!"
I'm so pale that when I worked in the ice cream parlor and was giving a kid his vanilla cone, he started l**... my hand.
I'm so pale that my house is listed as haunted. It was built last year!
I'm so pale that when I went to confession, the priest told me to eat a clove of garlic.
One of life's most soul crushing moments occurs every time that a song comes on the radio .....
And you think you are about to hear Under Pressure by Queen only to find out it's Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.
I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today…
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a man with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in lemon and vanilla scents!
If kanye west is running ...
I think Vanilla Ice should run for president at some point as well. He'd have a solid campaign slogan "If there was a problem, I'll solve it" and he'd make everyone collaborate and listen.
A walruses car broke down.
While waiting for the mechanic to troubleshoot the problem he decided to walk to the ice cream parlor. He ordered a vanilla ice cream cone and ate it while walking back to the car shop. As he finished the last bite he realized he forgot to grab a napkin. As he desperately tried to clean his very sticky face and hands the mechanic step out of the garage. Looks like you blew a seal the mechanic said. No the walrus replied it's just ice cream .
A man walks into a coffee shop
And orders a shot of espresso with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. When he receives his order, he's dismayed to find only a shot of espresso.
"Hey!" he asks the barista, "why didn't you add the ice cream?"
"Sorry sir" he says, "affagato."
I'm opening a floating restaurant on a houseboat where we sell ice cream tacos, and our mascot is a gorilla dressed like an ancient Mongolian warrior.
I call it "Attila Gorilla's Vanilla Tortilla Flotilla"
A new study found
A new study found
that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits..
And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims..
I was offered a good hot time today by a hot 21 year old redhead
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I said no as I have high moral standards and very strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.
Two men are walking down the street when they see a dog....
Two men are walking down the street when they see a dog with one of its hind legs up in the air and it's snout buried in its c**.... They stop for a moment as the dog furiously tongues its b**....... just goin' to town on himself. The first man turns to his friend and asks, Wow, man..... my wife is pretty vanilla. I could never convince her to do something like that. Do you ever wish you could do that!?
The second man pauses for a moment and says well yeah, but shouldn't we pet him first to see if he's friendly?
