Vanilla Ice Cream Jokes
48 vanilla ice cream jokes and hilarious vanilla ice cream puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vanilla ice cream that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Vanilla Ice Cream Short Jokes
Short vanilla ice cream jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vanilla ice cream humour may include short vanilla ice jokes also.
- How do you make an elephant float? A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant.
- "I'd like two scoops of ice cream, please." "Chocolate or vanilla?"
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, Sir, ice cream man, Sir!" - Why do diners in Kansas put a red star next to Vanilla ice cream? to warn that it may be considered "too spicey" for the average customer
- What do you call it when you study the Quran while eating a scoop of vanilla ice cream? Allah mode
- What is the official ice cream flavor of the Academy Awards? Vanilla, because it's all white.
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Vanilla Ice Cream One Liners
Which vanilla ice cream one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vanilla ice cream? I can suggest the ones about ice cream and chocolate ice cream.
- What's the difference between vanilla and French vanilla ice cream? Cowardice.
- I once saw a ghost made of chocolate and vanilla Ice creamed
- What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and French vanilla ice cream? Cowardice
- What is Batman's least favorite ice cream? Vanilla Bane!
- What's Adam Ant's favourite flavour of ice cream? Standard Vanilla
- What do you call a t**... with a scoop of vanilla ice cream? Allah mode.
- Why don't ice creams have fetishes? They prefer vanilla s**....
Vanilla Ice Cream Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about vanilla ice cream you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ice cream van jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vanilla ice cream pranks.
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop.
The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour.
The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works.
He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face.
He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car.
The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal."
"Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
A penguin is driving to a job interview...
A penguin is driving to a job interview when suddenly he sees smoke coming from the hood of his car. Stressed and angry because he might be late, he pulls into an autoshop. The mechanic assures him: "Don't worry, these things are usually easy to fix. Go across the street and get yourself a coffee, come back in five minutes, and I should have it fixed." So the penguin, already keyed up, doesn't think coffee is a good idea, but crosses the street and buys a vanilla ice cream cone. Being a penguin, with only flippers, the ice cream goes all over his face and chest. Now the penguin is really angry, late for his interview and all messy. He returns to the mechanic, who looks up from the car and says "it looks like you blew a seal".
The penguin says: "No no, it's just ice cream."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lady walks into an ice cream shop.
"Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.
"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man is frustrated at this point and decides to teach her a lesson.
"Ma'am, do you see the 'van' in vanilla?"
"Yes," she says.
"Do you also see the 'straw' in strawberry?"
"I do."
"Ma'am, do you see the 'frick' in chocolate?"
"There's no 'frick' in chocolate..."
"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"
There's this penguin...
There's this penguin, driving through the South, the Deep South... late August. The hot months. "Ew! But it sure is hot!" the penguin lisped from behind the wheel of his choking jalopy.
Suddenly! The jalopy fails the penguin and he has to push it down a bumpy road to the next small town. He got out, and with all his strength in his weak flippers, he pushed the car over hill and dale.
"Whew!" he sighed.
As luck would have it, there was a mechanic in town, and he told the penguin that he'd have to spend some time with the car. "Why don't you come back in an hour or so?"
Wiping the sweat from his brow, the penguin espied an ice cream shoppe! "Hurray and yippy!" he cried! "I'll be back, toot sweet!" he said.
He ordered the tallest vanilla ice cream he could hold between his vestigial wings... those miserable fins could barely manage the scoops upon scoops of creamy goodness. The cone was so tall that more of it ended up on the penguin than in him!
"Yummy! That was very very good!" the penguin said, smacking his lips.
He waddled back to the mechanic who was ready to give the little fellow an update. The mechanic looked at the penguin sternly. The gaskets and seals on the engine were severely damaged after years of driving without a routine check, and it was certainly going to be expensive.
"Well, it looks like you blew a seal."
"Oh no, that's just ice cream!" the penguin said, wiping the ice cream from his chin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman walks into an ice cream shop
A woman walks into an ice cream shop.
She looks at the selection and says "umm... I'll have a pint of chocolate ice cream please."
The guy working there says "I'm sorry ma'am, but we are out of chocolate."
She nods and looks back at the flavors, "Ok...well in that case... I'll have a quart of chocolate, please."
The guy looks back at her a bit confused, "No, I'm sorry. It's not the quantity, we are completely out of chocolate right now."
The woman says, "Oh ok... well then I suppose I'll have a gallon of chocolate ice cream, please."
The guy is bewildered. He responds, "Lady, can you spell the 'straw' in strawberry?"
"Umm... Of course, S-T-R-A-W"
"Very good. Now can you spell the 'van' in vanilla?"
She responds, "Well, yes... V-A-N"
He smiles and says, "Perfect. But now can you spell the f**...' in chocolate?"
She furrows her brow, "But there is no f**...' in chocolate!"
He goes, "I know, lady that's what I've been trying to tell you!"
Penguin's car breaks down
It's a hot day and a penguin is driving his car around when it suddenly breaks down. He takes it to a mechanic who says it will be an hour before he'll know what's wrong with the thing. Now, Penguins do not like heat, so he decides to go get some vanilla ice cream. Flippers however are not good at handling ice cream cones, so he ends up making a big mess. when he goes back to check on his car the mechanic says, "Looks like you blew a seal." Penguin says, "No you don't understand, that's just ice cream"
a penguin is driving through Texas when ...
... his car engine suddenly sputters and dies. close to a service station, he uses his momentum to roll up in front of the garage. he hops out and asks the mechanic to have a look. the mechanic obliges and says "give me 15 minutes". it being a hot day in Lubbock (naturally), the penguin gravitates to the baskin robbins across the street to get a vanilla ice cream. not having lips, the little guy enjoys his ice cream greatly but makes a bit of a mess, getting ice cream all over himself. after finishing, he walks back across the street to the service station. the mechanic says to him "looks like you blew a seal." the penguin replies, "oh no, that's just ice cream!"
A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down...
He gets towed to a garage in the nearest town. When he gets there, the mechanic says it will take a while to check it out, so the penguin goes across the street to an ice cream parlor. He goes in and orders a large vanilla cone, then sits on the patio and eats it.
Just as he's finishing, he sees the mechanic gesture to him. He jumps up and runs across the street to get the verdict.
"Well" said the mechanic. "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no" replied the penguin. "That's just ice cream. What about my car?"
So this penguin goes for a drive ...
So this penguin goes for a drive into town. Once there, his car breaks down, but fortunately right in front of the walrus' repair shop.
The walrus is working on another car but tells the penguin he'll take a look in a minute. The penguin decides to walk across the street to get something he's never tried before: an ice cream cone. He gets vanilla.
Of course, having no hands, he gets it all over himself, smearing the ice cream on his beak and face on his way back over to the walrus' repair shop.
The walrus, seeing the penguin, closes the hood and says "well, looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says "ha, no, it's just ice cream."
A penguin is having some car trouble
So he takes his car to a local mechanic for repairs. The mechanic tells the penguin that it will take about an hour to check and find out what is wrong with his vehicle.
The penguin goes to the waiting room and becomes very bored and antsy. He looks out the front window of the mechanic's shop and sees and ice cream parlor across the street and decides that will be a good way to kill some time.
The penguin goes into the ice cream parlor and orders a three scoop cone of vanilla ice cream. Seeing that the penguin doesn't have opposable thumbs it is very hard to keep a hold of the cone and the penguin makes a huge mess. He gets ice cream all over himself.
The penguin looks at the time and realizes he needs to get back to the mechanic's and doesn't have enough time to clean up.
He goes to the mechanic and asks if he found out what was wrong.
The mechanic says "It looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin responds "No, that's ice cream."
A penguin's car breaks down..
So he goes to the nearest mechanic. The mechanic told the penguin that it'll be a little while until he figures out the problem. The penguin notices one of his favorite ice cream places down the road and decides to go grab a vanilla cone.
The penguin finishes his ice cream and heads back to the mechanic.
The penguin asks the mechanic if he has found the problem. The mechanic replies with "Well, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin then replies "No no no! I was just eating ice cream down the street I swear!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my ice cream like I like my women.
Plain vanilla, and hopefully if it lies around long enough it will get wet so I don't have to do much with my mouth.
A lady walks into a dry cleaners...
...she's carrying a beautiful black dress. She tells the clerk, "I'll need to pick this up tomorrow."
The clerk, hard of hearing and distracted, innocently asks, "come again?"
Unfazed, she replies, "No. Vanilla ice cream this time."
A penguin is driving his car through Arizona...
His engine begins to shudder and overheat, so he pulls off at the nearest exit. As luck would have it, there is a small auto repair shop close to the exit. He drops his car off for the mechanic to inspect and notices an ice cream shop just across the street.
Mr. Penguin chooses a vanilla cone and due to his lack of suitable appendages, gets ice cream all over his face. Upon finishing his cone, he returns to the mechanic to pick up his car. As he approaches the shop the mechanic approaches him and exclaims, "Looks like you blew a seal!" to which Mr. Penguin replies, "Oh no! It's just ice cream, I swear!"
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona...
...and sees that the car's oil-pressure light is on.He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.
The mechanic looks up from the engine and says, "It looks like you've blown a seal."
"No, no," the penguin replies, wiping his mouth, "it's just ice cream."
A penguin is driving down a desert road...
when his car begins to sputter. He pulls over into a service station and leaves his car with the mechanic. The penguin goes into a nearby ice cream shop and buys a vanilla ice cream cone to try and beat the heat. It's so hot outside that the ice cream begins to melt all over his hands and face as he eats it, leaving a mess. When he's finished his ice cream, he goes back to the service station to check on his car. The mechanic tells him "All fixed. Looks like you just blew a seal". The penguin replies, "No, it's just ice cream".
Another penguin joke.
So a penguin is driving around town when he car starts having some issues. Worried he pulls into a mechanic shop to get it looked at. The walrus working there needs 20 minutes to check it over so the penguin decides to waddle around to waste time and ends up grabbing some vanilla ice cream.
In his delight of his snack and enjoying the sights he ends up getting vanilla ice cream all over his mouth but doesn't have anything to clean it off so he heads back to the shop since it's almost time for the mechanic to be done.
Walking up to the shop the mechanic looks over to him and says "Well it looks like you blew a seal"
"oh?" Says the penguin "oh, no this is just vanilla ice cream"
A penguin is driving when he sees a check engine light on. He takes his car to the mechanic and then goes for ice cream.
A penguin is driving when he sees a check engine light on. He takes his car to the mechanic and then goes for ice cream. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says It looks like you blew a seal. No no, the penguin replies, it's just vanilla ice cream.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The little boy just wants chocolate ice cream...
A little boy walks into an ice cream shop...
"I want chocolate ice cream!" the boy exclaimed.
"I'm sorry we don't have chocolate", the clerk sighs "but I have this delicious strawberry and vanilla!"
"No! I want chocolate!" the boy cried.
"Tell you what" ,the clerk adds "can you spell 'VAN' as in vanilla?"
"Yeah! V-A-N", the boy proudly says.
"What about 'STRAW' as in strawberry?"
"Yeah! S-T-R-A-W", the boys says as he is getting annoyed.
"Now, what about f**...' is an chocolate???"
The boys screams, "There is no f**...' in chocolate!!"
"That's what I'm trying to tell you, boy!!!!!"
Walrus is driving down the street when suddenly.....
His car breaks down in the hot dessert. He calls a towing service and takes it to the nearest shop in some small town he's never been in.
Mechanic tells him it's going to be awhile. Walrus says, no problem. I'll just go across the street and treat myself to something cold at that restuarant to burn time.
About and hour later the walrus comes back and the mechanic tells him. Well, It looks like you blew a seal. Walrus quickly rubs his face and says. Oh... No that's just vanilla ice cream I just had.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A penguin is driving and gets a flat tire.
He pulls over to the nearest gas station and speaks to the mechanic. About how long to get this repaired? says the penguin. Should only be about 30 mins he replies.
It is pretty hot outside, so the penguin decides to walk and get some ice cream. Thirty or so minutes later, the penguin is walking back to station while l**... his vanilla ice cream. Naturally, penguins aren't the cleanest eaters so some vanilla ice cream gets around his mouth and face.
When the penguin arrives, the mechanic greets him and says, It looks like you blew a seal!
So a penguin took his car to get fixed
So a penguin took his car to the shop to get fixed. The mechanic told him it would take a while, so the penguin went across the street to get some ice cream. The penguin got some vanilla ice cream, and had to eat it with his beak because penguins don't have arms. When he was done with the ice cream, his face was covered in it. The mechanic called the penguin and told him his car was done so he came back over to the shop to get his car. The mechanic said it looks like you blew a seal.
A penguin takes his car to the mechanic because it has been running rough.
The mechanic tells the penguin that he can check it out to see what the problem is but it will take sometime.
The penguin says "okay," and he heads to the soda shop across the street and gets a soft serve.
After about an hour the penguin goes back to the auto shop. He ask the mechanic how it is looking.
The mechanic says, "it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin wipes his beak with the back of his flipper and says,"nope. just vanilla ice cream."
A Penguin is driving in his car
Suddenly, the car broke down and he needed to tow the car to the mechanic
After leaving the car to give the mechanic time to analyse it, he felt hungry and spotted an ice cream shop nearby. He ordered a big bowl of vanilla ice cream, but because the store had run out of spoons, he needed to use his flippers to eat it
The penguin later returned with vanilla ice cream dripping down his flippers and beak. When the mechanic saw him, he said, "Well sir, it looks like you blew a seal"
The penguin just replied, "No, it's just ice cream"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm so pale...
I'm so pale that when I went outside last winter, the neighborhood kids said, "Hey, look! Frosty's on a diet!"
I'm so pale that when I worked in the ice cream parlor and was giving a kid his vanilla cone, he started l**... my hand.
I'm so pale that my house is listed as haunted. It was built last year!
I'm so pale that when I went to confession, the priest told me to eat a clove of garlic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.
AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.
The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, being a penguin, with flippers instead of hands, as well as a beak, he makes a huge mess and gets ice cream all over his face. h**... goes back to the garage, where the mechanic tells him "looks like you blew a seal."
"No," says the penguin. "That's just ice cream."
A man walks into a coffee shop
And orders a shot of espresso with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. When he receives his order, he's dismayed to find only a shot of espresso.
"Hey!" he asks the barista, "why didn't you add the ice cream?"
"Sorry sir" he says, "affagato."
I'm opening a floating restaurant on a houseboat where we sell ice cream tacos, and our mascot is a gorilla dressed like an ancient Mongolian warrior.
I call it "Attila Gorilla's Vanilla Tortilla Flotilla"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man went to the ice cream shop and ordered a chocolate cone...
I'm sorry, Sir, we're out of chocolate.
Oh, that's too bad. I'll have a chocolate cone with sprinkles then.
I'm sorry, Sir, but like I told you, we're out of chocolate.
How about a chocolate/vanilla twist, then?
Let me ask you something. How do you spell the 'van' in 'vanilla'?
V-a-n.
OK! We're on the same page! And how do you spell the 'straw' in 'strawberry'?
S-t-r-a-w.
Right, and lastly, how do you spell the f**...' in 'chocolate'?
There is no f**...' in 'chocolate'.
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!