Van Gogh Jokes
94 van gogh jokes and hilarious van gogh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about van gogh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Van Gogh Short Jokes
Short van gogh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The van gogh humour may include short vincent van gogh jokes also.
- I asked Vincent van gogh to get me 6 eggs from the store, he came back with three... Forgot he can only hear half of what I'm saying
- Why did the art thief's vehicle run out of gas? He had no Monet,
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh. - An Art Thief is Sitting in His Driveway... He didn't have any Monet, to buy Degas, to make his Van Gogh.
- An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away.... A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers " I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
- Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum? Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
- Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre? Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh.
- Stop me if you heard the old joke about the art thief who got busted... Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
- Van Gogh masterpiece defaced by Just Stop Oil activists in London. A spokesman for the group said, 'We will not rest until all 19th century painters switch to acrylics or watercolours.'
- Vincent Van Gogh is having a pint… His mate Gauguin walks in to the bar and says,
Hi Vinny, fancy a beer?
Vincent says,
No thanks , I've got one 'ere… . - What do you get when you cross Van Gogh with George Thorogood? One bourbon
One scotch
And one ear
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Van Gogh One Liners
Which van gogh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with van gogh? I can suggest the ones about gogh painted and vans.
- What did mike tyson say to Vincent van Gogh?? You gonna eat that?
- Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn't have an ear for music.
- What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off? Van Stay
- What did the artist say to get his vehicle moving Van Gogh
- Do you know why Van Gogh got into painting Be cause he didn't have an ear for music.
- You wanna hear a Van Gogh joke? Alright... Ear goes.
- What did the artist say when his car got stolen? Where did my Van Gogh?
- What did Vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot? Where did my van gogh
- Which ear did Van Gogh cut off? It doesn't matter. The other one was left.
- When Van Gogh and Rembrandt go to lunch, who pays? They go Dutch
- What do you call Van Gogh when he takes a bath? A washed up artist.
- Van Gogh wasn't known as a modest man Or did the compliments just go in one ear.......
- Why did the police let Van Gogh? He had an eartight alibi
- What did Van Gogh call his other ear? Van Stay
- Did you know I store paintings under the hood? It makes my Van Gogh
Vincent Van Gogh Jokes
Here is a list of funny vincent van gogh jokes and even better vincent van gogh puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What quality did Vincent Van Gogh have that would have made him a good counsellor? He had the quality of lending an ear.
- Did you hear the one about Vincent's Van Gogh? Neither did he.
- Van Gogh hands a wrapped up box to his girlfriend. "Vincent, please tell me this isn't another ear."
"What?" - You know that fair maiden that Vincent van Gogh gave his ear to? I heard it was for the illustrious ghost, Mary the 1st of England.
- What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep? Lamb Gogh
- Why did Vincent van Gogh cut off his ear? He was hungry.
- Why does Vincent van Gogh always look forward to thenew year? Because everyone wishes him a new ear.
- What killed Vincent van Gogh? He had a Sev Ear Infection.
- Why did Vincent never learn to drive? He didn't know how to make the van Gogh..
- Vincent van Gogh called… He wants his ear back… so that he can hear you on the telephone.
The Funniest Van Gogh Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about van gogh you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean painting art jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make van gogh pranks.
What happens when you put too many paintings in your car?
You can't make your van gogh.
Art Thief
An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.
He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"
The thief replies:
"I did not have the Monet
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh"
Two men robbed the Louvre
Two men robbed the Louvre in Paris. Soon after, the police found the thieves stopped in their van on the side of the road. When the thieves were asked why they had stopped, they answered: "We did not have enough Monet to buy Degas and make the Van Gogh."
What did Mark Antony say to Van Gogh?
Lend me your ears
Van Gogh was never good at following directions.
Everything that he was told simply went in one ear and out the- oh wait a minute...
I'm a traveling art collector, but not doing so well...
I'm always in need of Monet to buy Degas to make the van Gogh.
Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license?
He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.
Did you hear about the recent theft from the Louvre in Paris?
Three paintings were stolen. The thieves took the Renoir to get the Monet to get their Van Gogh.
Why did Van Gogh become a painter?
Because he wanted to be a musician but he just didn't have an ear for music.
Van Gogh's girlfriend: Oh my love! Why did you cut off your ear?!
Van Gogh: pardon?
There was a failed art theft today...
the robber reportedly was foiled because he didn't have enough Monet for Degas to make the Van Gogh.
What did Van Gogh's mother say to him when he was sad?
Wipe away those ears.
Art Thief
A mastermind thief infiltrates The Louvre and steals several paintings. He loads them all into his van and drives off. A few blocks away, his van breaks down. When the police arrive on the scene, one of the officers asks the mastermind how something like this could happen if he was so smart. The mastermind replies with "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives
His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.
An art thief gets caught after a heist, how so?
Many people saw his Van Gogh from the scene of the crime.
Do you know why Van Gogh became an artist?
People say he never had an ear for music.
I really admire Van Gogh's work
His early ears were probably his best!
Van Gogh was a fantastic artist, but an awful composer...
...he never had an ear for music.
Recently, a burglar in Paris...
Recently, a burglar in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past heavy security, he was captured only two blocks away, when his getaway vehicle stalled in the middle of the road. When asked how he could mastermind such a daring crime, and then be caught only a couple blocks away, he replied,
I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
Two criminals are trying to get away from an art museum in their getaway van after stealing pieces from 3 artists.
One gets in and turns the key. The van won't start.
The other one turns and asks, "Why aren't we moving?"
"I have no Monet to buy the Gascan to make the Van Gogh."
Why did the art forger need gas?
To make his van Gogh.
what did vicent say when his car went missing
where did my van gogh
What type of fuel do painters prefer?
Whatever makes the van gogh..
-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as s**... as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.
A thief tried to steal paintings from the Louvre...
A thief attempted to steal paintings from the Louvre in Paris, but was caught 2 blocks away when his van ran out of gas. All the thief could say for himself was: I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried for it anyway because I had nothing Toulouse!
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
How many Gogh's do I know?
Only Van.
Van Gogh Family
Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lesser known relatives:
* The really obnoxious brother - Please Gogh
* The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
* His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
* An aunt who taught positive thinking - Wayto Gogh
* And his magician uncle - Wherediddy Gogh
What did the art thief's say when they jumped in the getaway vehicle after a heist?
Van Gogh
What was Van Gogh's least favourite vegetable? An ear of cauliflower.
Sorry it was an arty joke.
What did people say in January, to celebrate Van Gogh's new prosthetic?
Happy New Ear!
Art thief.
Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
A joke from work
Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.
Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.
Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.
Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.
Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."
A friend of mine is convinced that Van Gogh painted the Mona Lisa.
I just don't have the 'art to correct him.
*Ouch!!* *Zut alors!!*
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
(...and you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to post this on raydeet.... Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse. )
Gas prices are getting out of hand
There was an attempted heist at the art museum. It seems the gang was Baroque and needed Monet. But they didn't buy enough of Degas to make the Van Gogh so they all got arrested.
Just seen Van Gogh in the pub. Asked him if he would like a beer.
He said no thanks, I've got one 'ere.
