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Valve Jokes

42 valve jokes and hilarious valve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about valve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Valve jokes are all the rage these days. Get your heart pumping with a funny look at valves, their replacements, and the systems that control them. From cow heart valves to pig and bovine valves, these jokes are sure to make you giggle in no time. Get ready to laugh at inlets, abacus, and more. Don't miss out on this hilarious take on the valves that keep us ticking.

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Funniest Valve Short Jokes

Short valve jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The valve humour may include short vein jokes also.

  1. How is Valve like Uranium-238? By the time they get to the third Half Life 13.5 Billion years will have passed.
  2. Valve should be in charge of the UN... It's the only sure-fire way to prevent World War 3.
  3. How many Valve employees does it take to change a light-bulb? Two. Two to hold a ladder and one to screw it in.
    Whats that? Three you say? They can't count that high.
  4. I like my women like I like my third games in a series by Valve... I think they're gonna be great, but they never seem to come.
  5. I don't know how Valve managed to do it, but... they even included the British Pound in their summer sale this year.
  6. There's been some interesting science news today. Apparently materials with a half life of 3 pass through valves at a extremely slow rate.
    -plauge inc
  7. What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him? "Babe, it's a valve!"
  8. An elderly radio engineer showed up at the house instead of a plumber. "You said you needed some valves replaced."
  9. (I hope this doesn't break sub rules) What do Marcus Smart and Valve have in common? Neither of them can make a three.
  10. Battlefield Bad Company series should be owned by Valve. Because Valve can't count to 3, and neither can Bad Company!

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Valve One Liners

Which valve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with valve? I can suggest the ones about vessel and valley.

  1. How to prevent WW3 Just give valve the rights to 1 and 2.
  2. How do you make sure World War III never happens? You sell the rights to Valve.
  3. Why is Valve so much better than EA and Ubisoft? They have a higher Self Esteam.
  4. Why was the Valve developer crying? He was having a Half-Life crisis.
  5. Valve should have the rights to the world wars That way they will never make a third
  6. We should give Valve the rights for the World Wars That way we'll never have World War 3.
  7. What does Valve have in common with a blonde? Both of them can't count to three
  8. You know what is the first thing you need to create steam? A VALVe.
  9. Turns out valve can count higher then 2.. Granted it's only 2 and 1/2
  10. If Valve had an nhl team... would that be the Mighty VAC's?
  11. What is the best card in Valve's Artifact? The Credit Card.
  12. What do Valve games and unvaccinated children have in common? They never reach 3.
  13. Valve is learning to count to 3. That's the first and second funniest thing I ever heard.
  14. What does Valve's Steam and crypto have in common? They have winter sales.
  15. Valve is releasing a new game engine to replace Source The Steam engine.

Valve joke, Valve is releasing a new game engine to replace Source

Giggle-Inducing Valve Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about valve you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pipe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make valve pranks.

A woman is at the park with her son when he starts misbehaving.

She looks at him sternly and says "If you don't stop before I count to 3, we're going home!"
1...
2...
2 and a half...
2 and three quarters...
2 and five sevenths...
Just then a man taps her on the shoulder and hands her his business card. Hi I work for Gabe Newell, co-founder of Valve, and we're looking for a new Vice President. I think you're just what we're looking for. Call me on Monday and we'll talk.

What car brands mean

Ford-Flipped Over Rebuilt Dodge
Pontiac-Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car
Fiat- Fix It Again Tony
Chevrolet-Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Nissan-Needless Innovations, Silly, s**..., Automotive Nonsense
GM-Gluteus Maximus
GMC-God's Mechanical Curse
LTD-Long, Thin Dumpster
Oldsmobile-Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.

A sentient sewer system was taken to court after abonding its duties. However it couldn't testify.

It had taken a valve of silence!

Valve is like a deadbeat dad....

They both do well on creating, but s**... at taking care of the offspring.

A man walks into a bar covered in shrapnel scars

The bartender asks "what happened?"
"It's my wife the pressure valve! She needed to let off some steam and just BLEW UP on me!"

Valve time slower than thought

Researchers have calculated that it takes longer than expected for radioactive fluids with a half-life of 3 years to pass through valves. Reason unknown.

Valve joke, Valve time slower than thought