Values Jokes
37 values jokes and hilarious values puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about values that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh while you learn with this collection of values jokes! From Addams Family Values to political and environmental values, this article has something for everyone. See what Sandra's got in store and enjoy a good chuckle for a good cause.
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Funniest Values Short Jokes
Short values jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The values humour may include short areas jokes also.
- Did you know: If you say a number loud enough, you increase its value? For example: 5 equals 5, but
5! equals 120. - Lost: bucket of sand, silt, and gravel Great sedimental value.
(I can't take credit. Read it in a university paper 20 years ago.) - Happy Pi Day Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.
Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?
Me: Not as far as anyone can tell. - I have an issue getting fair market value when I try to sell gravity. My wife thinks it's because it was mass-produced.
- I took my metal detector to the beach today expecting to find antiques of great value. Beach better have my money
- If I won the Mega Millions valued at 750 million today, I would donate a quarter to charity. Not sure what I would do with the other 749,999,999.75 dollars though.
- How can you tell you're playing poker with a feminist? They'll insist that Kings and Queens have equal value.
- I have an EpiPen I don't need it but I always keep it for sentimental value.
A friend of mines gave it to me as he was dying, I don't know why but it seemed very important to him I had it. - Gas prices are getting ridiculous I went online to check the value of my car and it asked if the tank was empty or full.
- When companies say We value your privacy! They really mean We put a value on your privacy!
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Values One Liners
Which values one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with values? I can suggest the ones about paces and variable.
- What's the absolute value of zero? lol
- Mark Zuckerberg values your privacy at $157 Facebook stock price
- I was sad when I lost my rock collection. It had a lot of sedimental value.
- The absolute value of 0 is no laughing matter lol
- I got gas for 2$ today. The taco bell value menu still slaps though
- I like my women how I like my coffee Strong and highly valued in the workplace
- IBM succumbs to feminist pressure Booleans can now contain the value "maybe".
- They say the value of something increases when you shout it out... 5 = 5
5! = 120 - Why do people keep asking the value of X? It is obviously 10
- Yo mamma is so...... Nice, I highly value the talks we've had.
- Math is evil... Only the Sith deal in absolute values.
- People tell me my pet rock is worthless... but I think it has sedimental value.
- 1 + 1 = 3 For very large values of 1.
- If shops sell things at 3.14 times their actual value They are Pirates.
- What's the value of a cosigned loan? It depends on θ, but between -1 and 1.
Cheerful Fun Values Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about values you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ties jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make values pranks.
Premarital s**...
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on s**..., marriage, and values.
Dave said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
Frank replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
Roy Moore says he'll bring Alabama values to Washington, but I'm not so sure. I mean, he s**... assaulted teenage girls...
But he wasn't related to any of 'em!
Why do quantum computers make terrible community leaders?
Because you can never be sure of their true values.
What is Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album?
Dark side of the Moon, for it's eclectic instrumentation and higher than average production values.
My wife is angry at me for giving money to Charity
My wife looks after our finances. She asked "Honey where this check of 1000$ every month goes to "
Me "It's for Charity"
After few months She asked me about what work this charity does.
Me it's better to show you than tell.
I don't know why she shouted and created a scene. So what if Charity is a Stripper. Charity is still a person with feelings and values. How can my wife be so insensitive
What is the favorite boat of a sailor who really values the people in his life?
The friend ship
Why was the null column condemned by the church?
Because it didn't have any values.
They say that Republicans no longer embody the Christian values they preach...
That's a little unfair if you ask me. They follow the golden rule perfectly. Whoever has the gold, rules.
Whats the good thing about living in Houston?
Property values are gonna be higher than Miami on Monday.
Ted Cruz takes his religious values very seriously
He always pulls out before finishing
2 + 2 = 5
For extremely large values of 2.
Robert Mueller goes before Congress..
Rhetorically, he asks who would be so low that they would sell our country and values for personal profit?
All of the republicans stand to volunteer.
Burglar breaks into my house: Give me your values and you won't get hurt! Me: Yea right buddy- Alexa, call the police!
Alexa: Shuffling songs by, The Police.
('Roxanne' plays in the background as I'm shot 9 times)
Where do apples get their moral values
Core beliefs
Every marriage counselor should be replaced by robots...
because they take arguments and return values.
2 + 2 = 5
...for large values of 2
What Confucian values do fuccbois/ hypebeasts believe in?
FILA piety
Why did the Quantum Computer win the presidential election?
Because for the first time in history ***nobody*** could ever be sure what values it held
