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Valentines Cards Jokes

61 valentines cards jokes and hilarious valentines cards puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about valentines cards that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Valentines Cards Short Jokes

Short valentines cards jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The valentines cards humour may include short valentines day card jokes also.

  1. Valentine's.... For the past 10 years I've been getting valentine's card from a secret admirer, so I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year.
    First my gran dies, now this!
  2. Every year for Valentine's Day I used to always get a card from a secret admirer. This is the first year where I haven't received anything. First my granny dies, now this?
  3. I used to open so many cards on Valentines Day. Eventually the post office fired me for it.
  4. What did barack obama write inside his Valentines card? "I'm glad I've got you Michelle; I didn't want to be Obamaself"
  5. This is the first time I didn't get a Valentine's day card from my secret admirer in 20 years; First my grandma died and now this;
  6. A man went to the card shop... ...and asked, "do you have any valentine cards saying 'you're my first and only love'?"
    The shopkeeper said yes,
    And the man replied, 'Great! give me five!"
  7. I need to get a valentine's card for my lactose intolerant wife But they're all too cheesy
  8. Just got 15 Valentines cards! It's left me completely breathless... The security guard in Clintons Cards gave me quite a chase
  9. The amount of Valentine's day cards I got this year has left me breathless. Turns out the card shop has a security guard and he gives a good chase.
  10. My girlfriend gave me a Valentine's Day card Silly girl disguised it as a restraining order

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Valentines Cards One Liners

Which valentines cards one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with valentines cards? I can suggest the ones about valentine card and valentines day.

  1. My missus asked me where her Valentine's day card was. I said, "Sorry, I had a headache."
  2. What does a Cyclops’ Valentine’s Day card say? Eye love you.
  3. What does a sheep’s Valentine’s Day card say? I love ewe.
  4. Anybody know where I can get a Game of Thrones Valentine's day card? It's for my sister.
  5. My deaf girlfriend gave me a valentines card.. It said "will you be mime?"
  6. Why couldn't She read His Valentine's Day Card? Because he was an illegible bachelor.
  7. My house is full of Valentines cards. I'm not a legend though Just a lazy postman
  8. What did the dubstep valentine's day card say? I wub you
  9. What did the Valentine's Day card say to the stamp? Stick with me and you'll go places.
  10. How to Skrillex sign his Valentine's Day cards? I wub wub wub you....
  11. That's my 5th card this Valentine's day! The refs on Fifa are terrible!
  12. What is Pink and lies on the doormat?

    Whitney Houston's Valentines Day Cards

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about valentines cards can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of valentines cards puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical & Quirky Valentines Cards Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about valentines cards you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean happy valentines jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make valentines cards prank.

A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones.
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns.
The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor.
He added a card and proceeded home.
After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift.
She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder."
With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."

Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."

Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and you'll go places.

Is b**... one word or two? I just want these Valentine's cards for my prayer group to be perfect.

Valentine Cards

Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.
By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asked Mike.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.

I got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother.

How ridiculous is that? We stopped having s**... years ago.

Someone with a girl friend should write this in their Valentines Day card

I was going to buy you a car, but I knew you'd be disappointed if I didn't give you the D.

You're my one and only love.

One day, a gorgeous young woman comes into the stationery and asks the clerk:
-Do you have cards with a red heart, an arrow trough it and "You are my One and only Love." written in big golden letters?
-Sure we do, valentine's right around the corner.
-Good, I'll take a dozen please.

Funny Valentines Day Card

What did one tower say to the other on 9/11?
I'm falling for you..
Happy valentines day

Excuse me, do you have a valentine's card that says "You're the love of my life"?

- Yes.
- Great. Give me 10.

Last Valentine's day I recieved so many cards from my girlfriends that I couldn't open the front door...

Because my wife had the locks changed

Valentine's Day card idea: I'm like good sushi...

You can eat me raw.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Guess what my lonesome self and my right hand did for Valentines day.

Sign Valentines cards for my relatives.

At the post office....

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

I just got over 15 Valentines cards! It left me breathless...

The security guard at the Hallmark store gave quite a chase.

Need a joke for valentines card

Valentines is tomorrow and i just wondering anyone could tell me a jokes so i can write on it to my gf
Thank you!!

I was looking for the perfect Valentine's Day card when something caught my eye. One of the cards said "I love you and only you"

I know this doesn't sound strange but it was a pack of 20 cards

A guy walks in to a Hallmark Store.......

And asks the attendant:
Do you have a valentine's card that says: "Our love is unique, I love you with all my heart, you are the love of my life"?
Attendant says: How romantic,
Sure, We do have some.
The guy says: can I get 3 of those please.

A man is shopping for a Valentine's Day Card

He goes into the shop and asks the lady working there, "Do you have any cards that say 'For the one and only love of my life?'
'That's so romantic! The lady exclaims 'Yes, we do have a card with that exact text.'
'Great!' the man replies, 'I'll take eight.'

All a woman wants for Valentine's Day is a card...

Visa or Mastercard, it really does not matter.

I got so many Valentine's cards this year I couldn't get through the front door.

My wife had changed the locks.

Valentines Day

In the shop:
Do you have heart shaped Valentines card with words:
"For my favorite, loved and the only one"
Yes, we have!
Could you please give me six of them!

Business can be generated any how!

An advocate goes to a gift shop 7 days before Valentine's Day.
He bought 40 beautiful cards and wrote - "To my love !! I hope you recognize! Meet me in the evening, "I love you"
The shopkeeper asked: What is the matter?
So the lawyer said - I sent such cards to the nearby colony on the last Valentine's Day. In a few days, I got four cases of divorce.
This time I am sending 40 cards

For the past 20 years, I've had a Valentines card from a secret admirer. I was sad I didn't get one this year!

First my gran dies, now this!

"My brother was telling me he received a Valentines day card today"

"Awe, he must've been thrilled. "
"No, not really, it was from his cell mate. "

For the last twenty years, I've received a Valentine's Day card from the same secret admirer...

So I was upset when I didn't get one this year. First my gran dies, now this?

A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.

He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."
"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.
"But why?" the bartender asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.

Today I got 150 Valentines cards, I was totally shocked and breathless

The security guard at Hallmark gave quite a chase!

How to make money off Valentine's Day

A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer. He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope. The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing." "Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says. "But why?" the bartender asks. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.

jokes about valentines cards

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these valentines cards jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.