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Valentin Jokes

59 valentin jokes and hilarious valentin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about valentin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Valentin Short Jokes

Short valentin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The valentin humour may include short cards jokes also.

  1. Valentine's.... For the past 10 years I've been getting valentine's card from a secret admirer, so I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year.
    First my gran dies, now this!
  2. For Valentine's Day, my wife finally fulfilled a fantasy of mine when dressed up as a nurse. At last, I got to roleplay having access to healthcare.
  3. If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember... that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.
  4. Every year for Valentine's Day I used to always get a card from a secret admirer. This is the first year where I haven't received anything. First my granny dies, now this?
  5. My wife said she wanted to feel special this Valentines Day. So I bought her a helmet and some crayons.
  6. I have a tip for all you lonely ladies on valentine's day.. Or you can just take the whole thing.
  7. For Valentine's Day I made a chart of past relationships.... It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.
  8. If Valentine's Day is for couples, what day is for single men? Palm Sunday.
    First time posting, please be gentle.
  9. (My 8 year old just told me this one) Who is the fish's valentine? His Gil-Friend!
    Idc what ya'll say, that was golden! Lol
  10. Yesterday, for Valentine's Day, I got my girlfriend some new beads for her abacus 🧮... It's the little things that count.

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Valentin One Liners

Which valentin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with valentin? I can suggest the ones about guard and blue.

  1. I finally got someone to be my valentine! I wish I could post this in any other sub.
  2. My Valentine is like the square root of -100... A 10, but imaginary
  3. Something on valentines day I just don't get... Laid.
  4. Bought my wife a new belt and bag for Valentines day, The vacuum works just fine now.
  5. I already got a date this valentine's day. Her name is Emma, Emma Gination.
  6. What did the lightbulb say to his Valentine? I love you watts and watts
  7. For valentine's day, I got a new car for my wife I thought that was an awesome trade
  8. What do fat women get for Valentine's day? Depressed
  9. My missus asked me where her Valentine's day card was. I said, "Sorry, I had a headache."
  10. Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day. It's February 14th.
  11. I have a date for Valentines February the 14th
  12. How do single people honor valentine's day? By Celibating!
  13. Do you know why there are fewer 'all men are trash' posts now? Valentine's Day is coming
  14. I have a joke about Valentines Most of you wont get it.
  15. Why is it hard for Liam Neeson to enjoy Valentine's Day? Because all the girls are taken

Valentin joke, Why is it hard for Liam Neeson to enjoy Valentine's Day?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about valentin can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of valentin puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Valentin Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about valentin you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean valentine day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make valentin prank.

A Valentines Poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
whitney houston is dead
and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou

The Meaning of dreams

One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "Maybe you'll find out tonight…," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled:"The Meaning of Dreams."

It's still Valentines day for another hour..

Roses are red
Violets are blue
No, they are violet
FTFY

Girl, if your beauty was represented in stocks, I'd invest everything...

Because you're at an all-time low.
(Use it to seal the deal on Valentine's Day)

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a date for Valentine's Day.

Valentine's day

Mothers have mothers day, father's have father's day, couples have valentine's day and I have palm sunday

For a moment, i had a different opinion on 'Chinese girls'

This Valentines day, I asked a Chinese girl for her number.
She said, "s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!"
I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 6**...-3629."

I have my entire Valentine's day planned with my toaster!

Okay, so first, we're going to take a bath.

I bought my wife a new puppy for Valentine's Day! She's such a beautiful dog! Unfortunately, I forgot my wife is allergic to dogs... so I have to find her a new home. Can anybody help me out?

She's 5'5", 125lbs, and blonde. Free to good home.

My wife told me "For Valentine's Day, nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace"

So I got her nothing.

What did barack obama write inside his Valentines card?

"I'm glad I've got you Michelle; I didn't want to be Obamaself"

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.

They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"
Happy Valentine's, everyone!

My wife asked me for a divorce for Valentine's Day

I told her I wasn't planning on spending that much.

My wife just called me and said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!"

I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

I used to open so many cards on Valentines Day.

Eventually the post office fired me for it.

A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.

He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."
"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.
"But why?" the bartender asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.

Two old men are sitting in the lounge chatting.

The one says, You should try the restaurant my wife and I went to last night. Pricey but well worth the money.
Oh, what's it called? asks the other man enthusiastically.
His friend thinks for a minute, Uhm…I…er…
Obviously having a senior moment he says, What's that flower, you know, war named after it, given out on Valentine's day?
The other man says, You mean the rose?
His friend lets out a gleeful, Yes! That's it, a rose!
He then turns in the chair and calls to his wife, Rose! What's the name of that place we ate at last night?

Two old men are sitting in the lounge chatting.

The one says, You should try the restaurant my wife and I went to last night. Pricey but well worth the money.

Oh, what's it called? asks the other man enthusiastically.

His friend thinks for a minute, Uhm…I…er…

Obviously having a senior moment he says, What's that flower, you know, war named after it, given out on Valentine's day?

The other man says, You mean the rose?

His friend lets out a gleeful, Yes! That's it, a rose!

He then turns in the chair and calls to his wife, Rose! What's the name of that place we ate at last night?

I always get Halloween and Valentine's Day confused.

They're both about candy and being something you're not.

Chinese New Year, Mardi Gras and Valentines Day are too close...

I don’t know what to paint on my nails.

There is s**... without love and love without s**....

And then there's us with neither.
Happy Valentine's.

There's s**... without love, and there's love without s**....

And there's us, without either.
Happy Valentine's Day.

Boudreaux decides to surprise his wife for Valentine's day. His wife has been wanting a milk bath to soothe her skin. He goes to the milk man and states he needs some milk. The milk man says, Since you are filling up the bathtub, do you want it pasteurize?

Boudreaux says, no I just need it passed her a**..., not pasteurize (passed her eyes)

My wife told me she wanted a divorce for Valentine's Day

I told her I hadn't planned on spending that much.

My wife is never gonna believe why her valentine gifts aren't here today.

I ordered her balloons from Temu but they keep getting shot down.

Stuff in the air...

The Country is on the lookout for flying objects.
Today, on Valentine's Day, Cupid almost got taken down by the National Air Patrol...

It's Valentine's day! I proposed to my high school girlfriend and best friend ever!

The two of them are out in the parking lot right now having a slapfight.

I always thought my wife nagged me less un February because of Valentines Day.

Turns out it's because it only has 28 days.

Valentin joke, I always thought my wife nagged me less un February because of Valentines Day.

jokes about valentin

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these valentin jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.