Vain Jokes
27 vain jokes and hilarious vain puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vain that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Vain Short Jokes
Short vain jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vain humour may include short futile jokes also.
- why do vain people use the self service isle at the supermarket? Because they like checking themselves out.
- The doctors rushed quickly to remove the bullet which was lodged in his artery... But it turns out it was all in vain
- a muslim couple goes hunting and accidentally shot an ape. "ouch, that's a shame. can we eat him so he wouldn't die in vain?" said the girl. "no, we cant" the guy replied. "why?" "it's Haram, Bae"
- Why should red blood cells never say 'jesus christ!' Because you never take the lord's name in vain
- The reason I have only broken 9 out of the 10 Commandments... ...is because I would have to be one sick and twisted individual to use the Lord's name in vain!
- When God closes a door, he opens a window. It amuses him to watch the gluttons try in vain to escape his wrath.
- Dios mios! A: You shouldn't say the lord's name in vain!
B: I'm not saying it in vain... I'm saying it in Spanish! - Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig.
That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them. - Did you hear about the narcissist who called himself Jesus Christ? He used the Lord's name in vain.
- Why did the crowd pay to watch the man try in vain to blend oil and water? It was unmiscible.
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Vain One Liners
Which vain one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vain? I can suggest the ones about shallow and plain.
- You're so vain I bet you think this joke is about you
- What did the aorta say to the inferior vena cava Your so vain
- Spider-man is the most vain hero He's always taking pictures of himself
- I'm not vain... I'm the most modest person I know.
- What do you say to a vain pirate? Arr! I be very smart!
- Batman doesnt know how to invest All his money goes in vain enterprises
- Keep on sinning Or he'd have died in vain.
- A red blood cell cursed in traffic. He shouldn't use the Lord's name in vain.
- "I love watching myself in the mirror while I shoot dope." Said Tom in vain.
Humorous Vain Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about vain you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean foolish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vain pranks.
Twice a week, a Belgian riding a bicycle crossed the German border...
And he always carried a suitcase filled with sand.
Each time, the customs officials searched his suitcase for contraband, but always in vain.
Sometimes, they even emptied all the sand out, expecting to find some i**... item.
They racked their brains but never found anything.
It was many years later, long after the Belgian had vanished from the scene that they learned the truth.
He had been smuggling bicycles.
Sad News At The Nestle Factory
Sad news at the Nestle factory today when a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath...
He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The milky bars are on me" everyone cheered
Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate.
He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he yelled "The Milky Bars are on me!", people just cheered.
Looking Good
Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks.
At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you haven't changed in 20 years."
"Oh," said Mom, horrified. "I hope I didn't look like this 20 years ago."
Tragic news from the Nestle factory today as a worker was crushed to death under hundreds of boxes of chocolates.
He tried in vain to get help but every time he shouted, "The milky bars are on me!!" --his fellow workmates just cheered
A Bishop and his plumber played golf
The plumber kept shooting the ball way out of bounds cursing " g**... it, I missed again". The bishop, annoyed, asked the plumber not to speak gods name in vain. As they moved to the next hole the plumber misses again, " g**... it, I missed again" The Bishop became furious. The third hole came and the Plumber missed. Before he could move his libs, lightning struck the bishop. And from above was heard "g**... it, I missed again.
Sad News.....
At the Nestle factory today a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath...
He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The milky bars are on me" everyone cheered.
Years ago I won a tony for my work in the theatre, but year after year went by and my dull attempts to win another were in vain. Then, one day I wrote a play about how I changed my routine and began to lead an exciting life. For this I won another award.
You could say I've broken out of monotony
