Vacation Kid Jokes
34 vacation kid jokes and hilarious vacation kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vacation kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Vacation Kid Short Jokes
Short vacation kid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vacation kid humour may include short holiday kid jokes also.
- Why do kids like summer vacation so much? It's the only time they will ever get to experience a classless society
- When I was a kid, I went on vacation and forgot my glasses I don't remember much though.
It was all a blur. - PSA for vacationing families: Don't let your kids play PokemonGo at Disney. They'll get eaten by wild Feraligatrs.
- Where do English prime-ministers take their kids on vacation? Lourdes. Mother Theresa always goes there.
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Vacation Kid Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about vacation kid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean summer vacation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vacation kid pranks.
Dad joke heard at the beach
Recently, I was on vacation and at a beach and a father and his kids were playing catch in the water next to me.
This kid who had to be about six or seven yells out, "dad, I'm going to try some trash talk. Ready? Your skills are as rusty as a tin can! Get it dad? *trash* talk?"
I was dying. That kid is going to make a great dad.
A purple man has a purple wife.
They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperation and cries, "Oh no! We've been marooned!"
A kid goes to church to confess...
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
There's a hotel that still has an elevator operator, to prevent people from doing graffiti in it, or kids from jumping in it.
A man who's on vacation talks to the elevator guy whenever he rides the elevator, and they get to know each other pretty well.
When he's leaving the hotel at the end of his vacation, the elevator operator notices his suitcases and says "Goodbye son" and the man replies "you're not my father" and the elevator operator says "no, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
After five months on the job, a new employee believes he deserves a huge raise and decides to ask his boss.
And how much of a raise do you want? asks his boss.
I'm thinking an extra $10,000 a year, says the employee.
The boss nods. Sounds about right. And what would you say to a package of ten weeks vacation, 20 paid holidays, and a company car leased every two years, say, a silver Cadillac?
The employee sits up straight. Wow! he says. Are you kidding?
* Yes, but you started it. *
God wants to take a vacation
But he has no idea where to go. His archangel, Michael, is helping him decide.
"How about Pluto?" He asks
"Nah, it's too cold there."
"Well, what about Saturn?"
"Nah, not a fan of the rings."
"Well then how about Earth?"
"Are you kidding me? I vacationed there 2,000 years ago, accidentally knocked this chick up, and they're still talking about it!"
God Wants To Go On Vacation
"Hmm, How about Venus?" An angel says
"No! It's way too hot there I need some place better" says God.
The angels face than lights up when he says "I've got it! How about you go down to Earth?"
God than chuckles and says "Are you kidding? Im not going down there. 2000 years ago I had an affair with a nice jewish girl and they are still talking about me!"
A hot woman was standing in a bus.
A kid saw her standing, got up and said, "hey lady, you can sit here. I've vacated my place for you."
At this, woman got real livid and slapped the kid.
"These days you can't even be nice to anybody", said the boy and went back to sit on his father's lap.
Not Earth!
God was looking for a place to take a vacation.
An angel suggested, "How about Earth?"
God said; "Are you kidding? I hooked up with a Jewish girl there 2000 years ago, and they STILL haven't stopped talking about it!"
On vacation this summer my wife took an early morning walk on the beach while the kids and I ate breakfast.
When my wife got back she said there was a beached whale and we needed to see it. My son said "well it's not beached anymore, you're standing right there."
Worst son-burn ever.
Are those Balloon animals ?
Going on a family vacation with a lot of kids can be a trial.
We found a really nice campground with all the amenities, to park the camper.
We met several other families, as the children all played outside.
For hours, the kids kept coming back inside asking for quarters over and over.
This went on for some time, until, the whole camper full of adults had to go outside to
find out what the screams of delight and giggling was about.
Among eight children and 200 empty contraception wrappers
was some of the best balloon animals I have ever seen.
Edit : on spelling
When does a regular joke become a dad joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent. Except for the fact it decided to stop being one and mysteriously vanished one night, cleaned out our joint bank account, never calls, never showed up to court, never remembers the kids' birthdays, never made their little league games, refuses to pay child support, refuses to get a job to avoid wage garnishment, and yet somehow manages to go on vacations to Mexico with their f**... 20-year-old girlfriend Chastity. F**K YOU, ALAN!!!
A guy goes on vacation with his family
And asks his friend if he can take care of their cat.
Days into the vacation, he receivea a call from his friend, and he says:
"Hey, your cat just died..."
"Jesus, man! You just messed my vacation! How am I going to tell my kids now? And you should'nt say it like that! First, you'd call and say 'the cat climbed a tree'. Then you'd call and say 'the cat is still in the three'. Then you'd call and say the cat fell and is fighting for his life. Then you'd call and say that cat died!"
"You're right... I'm sorry, I should have done it like that"
Days later, he receives a call from his friend:
"Hey, your mother climbed a tree..."
And what starting salary are you looking for?
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Job interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Engineer searching for a job
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
"Wow! Are you kidding?"
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Are you kidding?
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
The Young Candidate
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Starting salary
Reaching the end of an extensive job interview, the HR person asked a young Engineer fresh out of college, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The engineering graduate said, "In the range of $100,000 - 125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The HR person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a brand new BMW?"
The engineering graduate sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
Starting salary.
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
$125,000
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Salary
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Reaching the end of a job interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it.
Job Interview to a Young Engineer
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
A Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Your first job interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of business school, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"
The applicant answered, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years ... say, a red Corvette?"
The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
Replied the interviewer: "Yes, but you started it."
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."