V Day Jokes
27 v day jokes and hilarious v day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about v day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest V Day Short Jokes
Short v day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The v day humour may include short valentines day jokes also.
- What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet? V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.
- What did King Henry V want to do on the last day of his vacation? Once more unto the beach
- I call the day I got my vasectomy "V-Day." It was the day I occupied my western front and took out enemy lines.
- Man's wife was gone from home all day When she finally came back late in the day, her husband asked
"Where'v you been all day?"
"At the beauty salon"
"Were they closed!?" - When GTA V came out I called off of work so I could stay home all day and beat it Then when I was finished I played the game
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V Day One Liners
Which v day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with v day? I can suggest the ones about happy valentines day and happy valentines.
- I witnessed a Mexican Standoff the other day. It was Juan v Juan.
- I slept with a married woman on V day Wife was thrilled, needless to say.
- Happy Alentine's Ay! It's like Valentine's Day, except without the V or the D
- Valentines Day is the day "V" and "D" come together finally
- What's worse than being German on D-Day? Being single on V-Day.
- Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
- Yarr, it be talk as a pirate day. What's a pirate favorite way to vacation. In an Arrr-V!
- Happy alentine's Day You'll get the V later ;)
Howlingly Hilarious V Day Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about v day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean womens day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make v day pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bros v. h**...
A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
Bill Gates is hanging out with GM's Chairman...
Gates is in a taunting mood. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas.
In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But, Bill, would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
Wembley Tickets- England v Scotland Friday 18th June 2021 Kick off 8pm
One of my best friends has two spare tickets in a corporate box for the England v Scotland game. They were £300 each but he didn't realise they are on the same day as his Covid 19 postponed wedding.
If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place!
It is at Manchester registry office at 2pm. The brides name is Nicola, she is 28, 5f 6 tall, a bit of a looker and a good cook.
I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girl friend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship.
We had a real row v. wade debate that day.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man with severe stutter orders a drink...
Bartender tells him, "Years ago a I had a stutter just like yours, but my wife cured me during a marathon day of constant s**.... After hours and hours, I was so exhausted, could hardly breathe and finally passed out. When I woke up, the stutter was gone!"
Couple days later, the same guy came in and ordered a drink - same stutter. Bartender asks, "Didn't you try what I told you?"
He replied "Y-y-yes I tried it. It was v-v-very nice, b-but it didn't work for me. However, y-y-you do have a r-really nice appartment."
...
Can you help out my friend?
A friend of mine has two tickets for the England v. Sweden football match this Saturday. He has already paid £800 for flights and accommodation. However, he was devastated the other day when he realised it clashes with his wedding and he won't be able to attend after all.
Would anyone be interested in taking his place? It all gets underway in West London at 3pm on Saturday July 7th. The bride's name is Lucy, 30 years old, weighs about 60kg. She is financially independent and an excellent cook, and her other interests include tennis and classical music.