Utility Jokes

Do you work in the utility industry? This article has all the funniest jokes about utility workers, companies, bills, and more. From humorous takes on the water, electricity, gas, and other utility-related services and industries to innovative Verizon puns, you won’t want to miss these hilarious jokes.

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Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...

...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.

\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?

\- This one, young man?

\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!

\- No problem, dear!

After the lady passed him the wire, and left, the electrician tells his mate:

\- See, Fred? I told you this was the neutral wire, but no, you had to insist that it was the phase line!

What do you call a utility knife that doesn't work?

A futility knife.

When batman doesn't use his utility belt

Its just a waist of equipment

What kind of pictures does Shaun Connery take?


alt. What kind of pictures do fish take?


alt. What do hermit c**... call their utility bills?

Shell Fees

alt. Why did my wife leave me?


I am surprised to see my college degree finally has some public utility


Why do economists love sewage treatment plants?

Because they are a utility.

I think women have a better vocabulary than men...

Because they understand that it's the utility of the word and not it's length that really matters.

Utility joke, I think women have a better vocabulary than men...

What is a rabbi's favourite Windows utility?

Snipping tool.

What do you call a truck made of stone?

A stat-ute, mate.

(Ute is Australian slang for utility vehicle)

Why do you never hear a sailor counting to 10?

Because they're more interested in fishing, sailing etc./ No pragmatic function for that distinct linguistic utility.

A man was offered a chair when he met for an interview at Public Utility Net Inc.

"thanks but I don't need your chairity"

You can explore utility innovative reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean utility usage dad jokes. There are also utility puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

The GOP should change their stance on the internet utility bill from "obamacare of the internet" to...


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the utility utility company puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working utility utility worker piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes