Users Jokes

102 users jokes and hilarious users puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about users that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

What jokes does the Android user tell the iPhone user? Find out in this article that takes a humorous look at how consumers breach the device divide. You can also find GIFs of the best user jokes out there!

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Funniest Users Short Jokes

Short users jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The users humour may include short followers jokes also.

  1. Did you hear the shocking news about Yahoo this morning? Apparently they still have 500 million users.
  2. The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused mark zuckerberg significant emotional distress. He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.
  3. A Linux user, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar.... I know because they told everybody there
  4. Just been banned from a Christian dating website. Apparently "Hung_Like_Jesus" isn't an appropriate user name!
  5. A Pokemon go user walks into a bar Because he was too busy looking at his phone to notice it
  6. A crossfit user, a vegan and an atheist went into a bar... And we know it because they told us.
  7. A Linux Joke In computing, what's the only way to generate a truly random string?
    Put a Windows user in front of VI and tell him to quit.
  8. As companies continue to cut tie with Kanye West... Compass maker INMARK has also decided to drop West from their product line, leaving users lost and confused.
  9. Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don't pay for your services? Zuckerberg: 1010011010 .......Ahem
    Zuckerberg: Senator, we run ads
  10. How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ? All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .

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Users One Liners

Which users one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with users? I can suggest the ones about username and hosts.

  1. What did the Reddit user say after setting off a bomb in a bank?
  2. How many excel users does it take to screw in a light bulb? Monday January 01, 1900
  3. What does the apple user do when he wants to customize his device? He adjusts the volume.
  4. What is a Linux user's favorite game? sudo ku
  5. Pornhub premium users are like jesus They pay for our sins.
  6. MySpace got hit by a DDOS attack.. More than 8 users were disconnected.
  7. How do you confuse an Apple user? Give them options.
  8. Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen? They are afraid of triggers.
  9. Why did Steve Jobs eat all the cookies? Mac users have no CTRL
  10. Where is Ireland? One sea away from iceland.
    (Credit; twitter user BazzaCC)
  11. There's a 12-step program for pun users. But it dozen work.
  12. What do you call an angry mob of sheep? Users with an old iPhone
  13. How many discord users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer dark mode.
  14. At what age does the average 4chan user find out they're autistic? thREEEEEEEEE
  15. Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers? Because they are quick to retweet

Iphone Users Jokes

Here is a list of funny iphone users jokes and even better iphone users puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is the most common question asked by iPhone users? "Does anyone have a charger I could use?"
  • iPhone users, don't bother sending the Meteor emoji to your Android friends... ...It won't have the same impact.
  • With the increasing price and size of Iphones…… If you want to be an iPhone user in 10 years, you'll need to have deep pockets.
    ( first time here, I hope is not too bad)
  • If iPhone user started getting on your nerves Just ignore them by plugging your earbuds into the 3.5 mm jack of your phone.
  • What do iPhone users and Future Trunks have in common? They both really hate Androids.
  • Can all 16gb iPhone users send a screenshot of their storage page? No sorry I don't have enough storage to take a screenshot.
  • How do you make iPhone users happy? By jacking them off.
  • Whats an ex-iphone user's favorite cereal? Apple Jacks
  • What do iPhone users hate the most?
  • 1st of Jan. is the only time of the year when iPhone users can say that the battery lasted more than a day. It lasted a year.

Android Users Jokes

Here is a list of funny android users jokes and even better android users puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • To all the Android users who just can't seem to gain administrator access to their devices on their own: We're rooting for you!
  • What do you call someone who always talks about apple products? An android user.
  • Tim Cook officially came out of the closet... at least this is the one time when Android users can't claim that theirs came out first.
  • Android users won't get this. Update.
  • android fanboys hating on iPhone and its users for years Blew up in their face.
  • How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone? Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.
Users joke, How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Tinder Users Jokes

Here is a list of funny tinder users jokes and even better tinder users puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If users on Tinder are (presumably) single and ready to mingle... Does that mean users on Grindr are gay and looking to lay?
  • Tinder announced a new feature this week which gives users 37 gender options to choose from And it's now easier than ever to avoid matching with the mentally unstable
  • After replacing their old C++ code with Google's new programming language, Tinder can now automatically detect its users' age This is because it's a Carbon dating app.
  • People say Tinder users are perverts... ...but I think it's fantastic! I met my girlfriend of 18 months on there. I've been seeing her for a couple of weeks now and it's going great.
  • whats the name of the app? Q: Name the app for which all the USERS must be LOSERS?
  • How did the Tinder user get stuck on a date with a neo-n**...? She swiped alt-right.
Users joke, How did the Tinder user get stuck on a date with a neo-n**...?

Cheeky Users Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about users you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean participants jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make users pranks.

What kind of drugs to tumblr users take?


Did you hear about the new drug that makes its users apathetic?

It's called Crystal Meh

According to the BBC website, 'cocaine users are getting younger'

I have always avoided i**... narcotics but, now that I've found out that they actually reverse the aging process, I'm going to give them a go.

How do m**... users get the money to buy their drugs?

The toothfairy.

A bear goes into a bar

he sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him.
he then calmly orders a beer
bartender: "sorry, we don't serve drug users in here"
bear: "but I don't do drugs"
bartender: "what about that barbitchyouate"

Why do dyslexic Tumbler users hate Star Wars?

Sithlords everywhere.

Police in yorkshire have discovered a new method of taking Ecstasy, where users dab it into their mouths...

E by gum

Why are all the users of Ashley Madison worried about their emails leaking? They will be millionaires when the Nigerian princes finish downloading the file.

Why are the_donald users not cucks?

First of all you'd need a girlfriend to begin with.

What Do Twitter Users Call Themselves?


Through voting, users determine what posts rise to the top of community pages and, by extension, the public home page of the site

...until the mods wake up.

Wheelchair tax

The new tax on wheelchairs has been met with major resistance, with some users refusing to stand for it.

How many internet users does it take to change a light-bulb?

I dunno. Let's just sign a petition so that hopefully somebody will do it.

What is Apple users favorite movie?

No Escape

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

A new study has shown l**... causes new users to lose weight.

Obviously, You can eat while there's a dragon gaurding your fridge.

How are tumblr users opposite from police officers?

Tumblr users are trigger happy around white men.

What's the toughest commandment for IV drug users to follow?

Don't take God's name in vein.

Windows 10 users won't get this.


The pollen count is so high

m**... users are trying to convert their m**... back to Sudafed

what do Tumblr users and fungi have in common?

they both have over 60 thousand genders

What do you call a group of Linux users?

*Club Penguin.*

Why do Muslims respect Quora users?

'cause they're Quorans.

If Mac users care more about the environment more than Windows users

Then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin?

Why are wheelchair users fans of Liverpool FC?

Because they'll never walk alone.

Who are the fastest readers?

Apple users, they read 100 pages of changed terms of service in one second.

Facebook is promising to protect users from data misuse.

Meanwhile, Darth Vader is teaching CPR.

The US Military today confirmed that two m**... users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.

Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.

Why can't drug users do track?

cuz they always be trippin'

I love how our names for recreational drug users give an idea of their drug of choice.

If they are a frequent user of m**..., they're a s**....
Some like to include psychedelics, and we call them hippies.
Our c**... lovers are cokeheads.
People obsessed with m**... are tweakers.
Finally some people like Bill Cosby prefer qualudes or rohypnol, and we call them rapists.

If the punchline was in the title.

Mobile users would be much happier.

Dear Mac users

Isn't it dark with no windows

Warning about new batch of "ice"

Police are warning drug users about a diluted, mild version of ice doing the rounds. They are calling it "crystal meh".

Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers?

Because they're always too quick to retweet.

Tik Tok is mostly just millions of users imitating each other.

They should change the name of the app to Kpy Kat.

Netflix is cracking down on password sharing as it turns out one-third of users share logins

Recent news from the company shows they are not worried about the other two-thirds who are Redditors with no friends

Peloton has announced a recall of all their treadmills...

... leaving their users scrambling to find something else to talk about all day.

Scientists have recently discovered that 3 out of 5 habitual m**... users developed over productive saliva glands.

When asked if anything can be done, one leading scientist advised, "Yes, you can either spit, or get off the p**...".

I have a question for only fans users

Why don't you get air conditioning instead

Well known fact.

95% of reddit users are sad lonely wankers....
The other 5% are liars.......


Three wheelchair users in the Paralympics have tested positive for WD40

I was pulled over by a cop earlier today.

Do you know why I've pulled you over, sir?
"No officer.
Well" he said "this doesn't happen very often, but I've been following you for the last ten miles or so... and your driving is exemplary! Correct road positioning, perfect observation and due regard for other road users.
Thanks very much, officer!" I said. "Do you reckon it's worth me getting a license then?"

So, we've all seen Biden's pardon for m**... users, but we need Bipartisan legislation....

We need Bipartisan legislation for the use of medical m**... for arthritis patients.
Joint support for joint support for joint support.

Users joke, As companies continue to cut ties with Kanye West...

jokes about users