The Best 81 Users Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Users jokes. There are some users customers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these users delete puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Users Jokes and Puns

Tim Cook officially came out of the closet...

at least this is the one time when Android users can't claim that theirs came out first.

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

"Does anyone have a charger I could use?"

What kind of drugs to tumblr users take?

Anti-oppressants.

Users joke, What kind of drugs to tumblr users take?

Did you hear about the new drug that makes its users apathetic?

It's called Crystal Meh

According to the BBC website, 'cocaine users are getting younger'

I have always avoided illegal narcotics but, now that I've found out that they actually reverse the aging process, I'm going to give them a go.


How do meth users get the money to buy their drugs?

The toothfairy.

Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen?

They are afraid of triggers.

Users joke, Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen?

A bear goes into a bar

he sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him.
he then calmly orders a beer

bartender: "sorry, we don't serve drug users in here"
bear: "but I don't do drugs"
bartender: "what about that barbitchyouate"

Why do dyslexic Tumbler users hate Star Wars?

Sithlords everywhere.

What do iPhone users hate the most?

How do Tumblr users communicate?

You can explore users gifs reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean users subscribers dad jokes. There are also users puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Police in Yorkshire have discovered a new method of taking Ecstasy, where users dab it into their mouths...

E by gum

Why are all the users of Ashley Madison worried about their emails leaking? They will be millionaires when the Nigerian princes finish downloading the file.

Why do 4chan users jump in front of trucks for suicide?

It's the closest they'll ever get to a grill.

Why are the_donald users not cucks?

First of all you'd need a girlfriend to begin with.

Why did Steve Jobs eat all the cookies?

Mac users have no CTRL

Users joke, Why did Steve Jobs eat all the cookies?

People say Tinder users are perverts...

...but I think it's fantastic! I met my girlfriend of 18 months on there. I've been seeing her for a couple of weeks now and it's going great.

What Do Twitter Users Call Themselves?

Twats.

Through voting, users determine what posts rise to the top of community pages and, by extension, the public home page of the site

...until the mods wake up.


Wheelchair tax

The new tax on wheelchairs has been met with major resistance, with some users refusing to stand for it.

So a Pokemon go user found a Mewtwo at a bar...

20,000 Pokemon go users walk into a bar.

How many internet users does it take to change a light-bulb?

I dunno. Let's just sign a petition so that hopefully somebody will do it.

How do you make iPhone users happy?

By jacking them off.

How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ?

All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .

Samsung users are like...

"Im glad Samsung is finally blowing up."

Did you hear the shocking news about Yahoo this morning?

Apparently they still have 500 million users.

They say the eyes are the window to your soul.

Unfortunately, this statement triggers many Mac users.

What is Apple users favorite movie?

No Escape

Tinder announced a new feature this week which gives users 37 gender options to choose from

And it's now easier than ever to avoid matching with the mentally unstable

What do Twitter users and lollipops have in common?

They're mostly Dum Dums.

Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

Did you hear about Yahoo today?

Apparently they had a billion users three years ago

A new study has shown LSD causes new users to lose weight.

Obviously, You can eat while there's a dragon gaurding your fridge.

Can all 16gb iPhone users send a screenshot of their storage page?

No sorry I don't have enough storage to take a screenshot.

How are tumblr users opposite from police officers?

Tumblr users are trigger happy around white men.

What's the toughest commandment for IV drug users to follow?

Don't take God's name in vein.

What's the favorite sex position of Git users?

Revert cowgirl.

Windows 10 users won't get this.

Privacy.

MySpace got hit by a DDOS attack..

More than 8 users were disconnected.

The pollen count is so high

Meth users are trying to convert their meth back to Sudafed

Mac users like it raw...

They always find a way around Trojans.

what do Tumblr users and fungi have in common?

they both have over 60 thousand genders

What do you call a group of Linux users?

*Club Penguin.*

Person: Completes 40 years of tax and home payments to finally pay off mortgage

EA: we just wanted users to feel a sense of accomplishment...

What do you call an angry mob of sheep?

Users with an old iPhone

If users on Tinder are (presumably) single and ready to mingle...

Does that mean users on Grindr are gay and looking to lay?

Why do Muslims respect Quora users?

'cause they're Quorans.

If Mac users care more about the environment more than Windows users

Then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin?

Cambridge Analytica has just made a new world record

By inappropriately acquiring the personal information of over 50 million Facebook users

Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don't pay for your services?

Zuckerberg: 1010011010 .......Ahem

Zuckerberg: Senator, we run ads

Can we have a flair for specifically racist jokes?

Or is this sub just gonna Jew users for the rest of its life?

Why are wheelchair users fans of Liverpool FC?

Because they'll never walk alone.

Who are the fastest readers?

Apple users, they read 100 pages of changed terms of service in one second.

How do wheelchair users communicate at long distances?

Not with walkie talkies

Facebook is promising to protect users from data misuse.

Meanwhile, Darth Vader is teaching CPR.

What do iPhone users and Future Trunks have in common?

They both really hate Androids.

The US Military today confirmed that two marijuana users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.

Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.

Who are the fastest readers?

Apple users, they confirm to have read 968 pages of terms and conditions in usually less than two seconds.

The Splitwise app isn't very popular among OnePlus smartphone users because...

...they never settle.

To all the Android users who just can't seem to gain administrator access to their devices on their own:

We're rooting for you!

Pornhub premium users are like jesus

They pay for our sins.

Why can't drug users do track?

cuz they always be trippin'

Whats worse to do for yelp users than despise them?

De-spice their food

iPhone users, don't bother sending the Meteor emoji to your Android friends...

...It won't have the same impact.

I love how our names for recreational drug users give an idea of their drug of choice.

If they are a frequent user of marijuana, they're a stoner.

Some like to include psychedelics, and we call them hippies.

Our cocaine lovers are cokeheads.

People obsessed with meth are tweakers.

Finally some people like Bill Cosby prefer qualudes or rohypnol, and we call them rapists.

Covid-19 is caused by

Emoji users

If the punchline was in the title.

Mobile users would be much happier.

Dear Mac users

Isn't it dark with no windows

Warning about new batch of "ice"

Police are warning drug users about a diluted, mild version of ice doing the rounds. They are calling it "crystal meh".

How many Discord users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They prefer dark mode.

Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers?

Because they're always too quick to retweet.

Tik Tok is mostly just millions of users imitating each other.

They should change the name of the app to Kpy Kat.

Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers?

Because they are quick to retweet

Netflix is cracking down on password sharing as it turns out one-third of users share logins

Recent news from the company shows they are not worried about the other two-thirds who are Redditors with no friends

Peloton has announced a recall of all their treadmills...

... leaving their users scrambling to find something else to talk about all day.

Scientists have recently discovered that 3 out of 5 habitual marijuana users developed over productive saliva glands.

When asked if anything can be done, one leading scientist advised, "Yes, you can either spit, or get off the pot".

I have a question for only fans users

Why don't you get air conditioning instead

Well known fact.

95% of reddit users are sad lonely wankers....

The other 5% are liars.......

Paralampics

Three wheelchair users in the Paralympics have tested positive for WD40

I was pulled over by a cop earlier today.

Do you know why I've pulled you over, sir?

"No officer.

Well" he said "this doesn't happen very often, but I've been following you for the last ten miles or so... and your driving is exemplary! Correct road positioning, perfect observation and due regard for other road users.

Thanks very much, officer!" I said. "Do you reckon it's worth me getting a license then?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the users smartphone jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working users gmail piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes