The Best 80 User Jokes

Following is our collection of funny User jokes. There are some user password jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these user mac puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest User Jokes and Puns

What's worse than a1 next to your user name?

A dry steak.

What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it?

A casket

Tech Support

USER: I can't get on the Internet.

SUPPORT: Are you sure you used the right password?

USER: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

SUPPORT: Can you tell me what the password was?

USER: Five dots.

What does the number 3 have in common with a Tumbler user?

They both can't even.

jokes about user

Did you hear about the white Slovakian tumblr user?

He had to Czech his privelige.

A Linux Joke

In computing, what's the only way to generate a truly random string?

Put a Windows user in front of VI and tell him to quit.

Please enter your new password

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIf

YouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

User joke, Please enter your new password

Why don't we let Google Chrome drive?

Because it crashes all the time.

*Disclaimer - shameless chrome user*

Citizen of a secretive dictatorship - AMA!

[this user has been jailed]

Fell through the glass doors of a French bakery and..

.. now I'm in a world of pain :D

(source: Sickipedia, some user called SoSueMe..)

IamA PC user who bought winrar AMA

You can explore user linux reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean user usage dad jokes. There are also user puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see?

Coffin

What do you call someone who smokes weed everyday?

A chronic user.

There's a fine line between being a drug addict and a recreational user...

...and I snorted the whole thing.

Why are all the users of Ashley Madison worried about their emails leaking? They will be millionaires when the Nigerian princes finish downloading the file.

Listening to your wife is like reading iTunes' user agreement...

... you don't understand anything, but you still agree with it.

User joke, Listening to your wife is like reading iTunes' user agreement...

I have a plan to make bathrooms more gender inclusive

This post has been archived.

If you would like to view this post please request it from user /u/Herschel_Frisch.

The reference ID of the post is Submission: 3mpofc.

What did the tumblr user do when she got arthritis?

Massage a knee.

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Each comment thread is a joke, but each user may only post one word.

You may only comment one word, or reply with one word to another comment. Good luck!

What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user?

Meals on Wheels

User interface?

I hardly even know her!

A Instagram user walks into a bar...

A Instagram user walks into a #bar #pub #brewery #happyhour #bigplace #beer #night #party #fun #photography #conceptual #art #drink #peperoni #olives #lights #table #chair #followme

A Pokemon go user walks into a bar

Because he was too busy looking at his phone to notice it

What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user??

Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time ;)

User joke, What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user??

I wonder what will be bigger

The video games of the future or the average Tumblr user

Samsung Gn7 user here. despite all the abuse they're getting I was surprised that it's actually a really great phone

I mean the battery life alone just blew me away

What's the best part about a selfie stick?

You don't have to look far to find something to beat the user of one in the head.

Username goes to the store.

He buys three oranges and goes to the till.
Username checks out.

My dad and i were driving past a cemetery

When suddenly my dad said in a serious toned voice

"I know something you don't know about this place.The people living in this town aren't allowed to be buried in here"

And i was really confused so i asked why and he said

"Because they are still alive."

Original: tumblr user @hello.

Username walks into a hotel...

And asks for a room. A few days later he leaves.

I guess you could say,

Username checks out.

Arguing with my wife is like reading an End User License Agreement

I don't understand much of what she's saying and end up clicking on 'I Agree' anyway

At what age does the average 4chan user find out they're autistic?

thREEEEEEEEE

Just been banned from a Christian dating website.

Apparently "Hung_Like_Jesus" isn't an appropriate user name!

A username walks to the reception desk of a hotel after staying there a few days.

And it checks out.

What's a pirates least favorite letter

Dear user,
your internet access has ben cut of due to illegal usage
yours truly
comcast

How did the Tinder user get stuck on a date with a neo-Nazi?

She swiped alt-right.

My mom told me to make like a Windows 10 user

And live life on Edge.

What do you call someone who always talks about apple products?

An android user.

How do you confuse an Apple user?

Give them options.

A meth user, An alcoholic, and a prostitute are all in a car. Who's driving?

The Police.

Soon, usernames will be passed in families as a legacy

"Son, there's something i want you to have.., it's my username"
"Oh jees, thanks dad ! "
"You're welcome son, euh i mean SirSpankALot"

What does the apple user do when he wants to customize his device?

He adjusts the volume.

If iPhone user started getting on your nerves

Just ignore them by plugging your earbuds into the 3.5 mm jack of your phone.

What Is The Hardest Thing for A Cocaine User To Do?

Nothing.

If users on Tinder are (presumably) single and ready to mingle...

Does that mean users on Grindr are gay and looking to lay?

What happens when a stereoid user drives their car?

They get roid rage.

A vacuum cleaner company removed their latest model from stores a week after launch,

All user reviews said that it sucked.

My ex wouldn't have been a very good sysadmin...

She was very much a $user.

If your username is Mike68, I assume you're 50 years old.

If it's Mike69, I assume you are something like 13 years old.

Told my boss my idea for a game where the user would steal an idol from a cave monster.

He told me to run with it.

I created an online website selling land mines disguised as prayer mats...

Prophets went through the roof

Note: repost, thanks to the kind user who corrected me

My username is not safe for work.

u/safeforwork was already taken.

What do you call a Midwesterner who uses heroin?

An Ohp-iod user

I love how our names for recreational drug users give an idea of their drug of choice.

If they are a frequent user of marijuana, they're a stoner.

Some like to include psychedelics, and we call them hippies.

Our cocaine lovers are cokeheads.

People obsessed with meth are tweakers.

Finally some people like Bill Cosby prefer qualudes or rohypnol, and we call them rapists.

What does a Twitter user and Schizophrenic have in common?

They both think outloud.

A beta tester walks into a bar

A beta tester runs into a bar

A beta tester crawls into a bar

A beta tester moonwalks into a bar

A beta tester jumps into a bar

A beta tester sneaks into a bar

A beta tester orders 1 beer

A beta tester orders 2 beers

A beta tester orders 0 beers

A beta tester orders 999999999 beers

A beta tester orders -1 beers

A beta tester orders qwertyuip beers

A beta tester orders a lizard in a cup

A regular user walks into the bar and asks if he can use their toilet

The bar erupts into flames and burns to the ground.

A Reddit user, a Reddit user, and a Reddit user walk into a bar.

The first one orders a coke. Five minutes later the second one orders a coke and the whole bar starts cheering, another five minutes later the third one orders a coke and the whole city erupts in thunderous applause.

A QA walks into the bar

He orders 1 beer

He orders 2 beer

He orders 0 beer

He orders -1 beer

He orders qwerty beer

He orders #^{^+]%_@$ beer.

Everything is fine.

The user walks into the bar and asks where's the toilet

The bar crashes

Little Red Riding Hood and the Scum Master.

As a victim to be, I need to get closer to the Big Bad Wolf disguised as my grandmother so that he has a better user experience when he eats me.

A Tik-Tok user who shot videos in the airport was taken to the hospital today..

He was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

New user: "How come my new printer doesn't work in Linux?" Linus: "You need the right driver."

"My chauffeur's outside."

A Linux user, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar....

I know because they told everybody there

A software tester walks into a bar.

He orders a beer, -1 beers, 50 beers, nuhriuh beers, NULL beers. The barman happily fulfils the orders he can, and declines the ones he can't.

A software user walks into the same bar, and asks the barman where the toilets are. The barman explodes, the bar burns to the ground, and the building collapses

A Reddit user robs a bank.

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

How does a Reddit user get karma when they don't deserve it?

Piece of cake

Finally broke down and joined Christian Mingle.

My user name is: CumGetPsalmOfThisDick if you're looking for a good time.

A crossfit user, a vegan and an atheist went into a bar...

And we know it because they told us.

A drug addict, a man taking a nap, and Donald Trump.

What are a user, a snoozer, and a sore loser.

In honour of my first cake day, here's a few of my favourite riddles. Feel free to try them on your friends.

Q: What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?

A: A hole

Q: What two words have thousands of letters in them?

A: Post office

Q: The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it. What is it?

A: A coffin

Q: What travels all over the world, but stays in the corner?

A: A stamp

Q: What runs all around a field, but doesn't move?

A: A fence

Q: What starts with E, ends with e and only has one letter in it?

A: Envelope

Due to Policy Changes

Prenuptial's will now be called End User License Agreements

What did the Reddit user say after setting off a bomb in a bank?

What is the most surprising, deranging, and panicking thing for a reddit user ?

Unprepared blue cheese.

A Facebook user walks into a bar...

He orders a shot, takes it, then proceeds to tell the whole bar about it. Then, he gets upset at everyone that doesn't want to take shots with him.

Internet discussion:

user kiki357: HEEEEY, HOW ARE YOU? I'M NEW HERE!

user ukili: Try pressing CapsLock.

user kiki357: AWESOME, NOW I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP PRESSING SHIFT!!!!

If a Mac user

If a Mac user sees a crime being committed, does she become an iWitness?

How do you confuse a reddit user?

You post a brand new joke.


(O.C)

Where is Ireland?

One sea away from Iceland.

(Credit; twitter user BazzaCC)

With the increasing price and size of Iphones……

If you want to be an iPhone user in 10 years, you'll need to have deep pockets.





( first time here, I hope is not too bad)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the user ports puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working user consumer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes