User Jokes
139 user jokes and hilarious user puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about user that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your day with a laugh! This article contains a collection of jokes related to end users of various operating systems, like Apple, Android, iOS, Linux, and more. Have a good time being entertained by these hilarious and relatable jokes, perfect for all computer, wheel chair, and smartphone users.
Quick Jump To
Funniest User Short Jokes
Short user jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The user humour may include short player jokes also.
- Did you hear the shocking news about Yahoo this morning? Apparently they still have 500 million users.
- The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused mark zuckerberg significant emotional distress. He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.
- A Linux user, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar.... I know because they told everybody there
- Just been banned from a Christian dating website. Apparently "Hung_Like_Jesus" isn't an appropriate user name!
- A Pokemon go user walks into a bar Because he was too busy looking at his phone to notice it
- A crossfit user, a vegan and an atheist went into a bar... And we know it because they told us.
- A Linux Joke In computing, what's the only way to generate a truly random string?
Put a Windows user in front of VI and tell him to quit. - As companies continue to cut tie with Kanye West... Compass maker INMARK has also decided to drop West from their product line, leaving users lost and confused.
- Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don't pay for your services? Zuckerberg: 1010011010 .......Ahem
Zuckerberg: Senator, we run ads - How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ? All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .
Share These User Jokes With Friends
User One Liners
Which user one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with user? I can suggest the ones about female and client.
- What did the Reddit user say after setting off a bomb in a bank?
- How many excel users does it take to screw in a light bulb? Monday January 01, 1900
- What does the apple user do when he wants to customize his device? He adjusts the volume.
- What is a Linux user's favorite game? sudo ku
- Pornhub premium users are like jesus They pay for our sins.
- MySpace got hit by a DDOS attack.. More than 8 users were disconnected.
- How do you confuse an Apple user? Give them options.
- Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen? They are afraid of triggers.
- Why did Steve Jobs eat all the cookies? Mac users have no CTRL
- Where is Ireland? One sea away from iceland.
(Credit; twitter user BazzaCC) - There's a 12-step program for pun users. But it dozen work.
- What do you call an angry mob of sheep? Users with an old iPhone
- How many discord users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer dark mode.
- At what age does the average 4chan user find out they're autistic? thREEEEEEEEE
- Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers? Because they are quick to retweet
Iphone User Jokes
Here is a list of funny iphone user jokes and even better iphone user puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is the most common question asked by iPhone users? "Does anyone have a charger I could use?"
- iPhone users, don't bother sending the Meteor emoji to your Android friends... ...It won't have the same impact.
- With the increasing price and size of Iphones…… If you want to be an iPhone user in 10 years, you'll need to have deep pockets.
( first time here, I hope is not too bad) - If iPhone user started getting on your nerves Just ignore them by plugging your earbuds into the 3.5 mm jack of your phone.
- What do iPhone users and Future Trunks have in common? They both really hate Androids.
- Can all 16gb iPhone users send a screenshot of their storage page? No sorry I don't have enough storage to take a screenshot.
- How do you make iPhone users happy? By jacking them off.
- Whats an ex-iphone user's favorite cereal? Apple Jacks
- What do iPhone users hate the most?
- 1st of Jan. is the only time of the year when iPhone users can say that the battery lasted more than a day. It lasted a year.
Apple User Jokes
Here is a list of funny apple user jokes and even better apple user puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call someone who always talks about apple products? An android user.
- What is Apple users favorite movie? No Escape
- Who are the fastest readers? Apple users, they read 100 pages of changed terms of service in one second.
- Who are the fastest readers? Apple users, they confirm to have read 968 pages of terms and conditions in usually less than two seconds.
- Apples' support for old iPhone users
- FBI and encryption FBI: Where are the keys to this phone?
Apple: We don't have them!
FBI: Children will die because of this. SAVE THE CHILDREN!
Users: *facepalm* - Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them. - How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone? Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.
- What do ex-religious iPhone users have in common with Adam & Eve? They're all "apple-states".
Linux User Jokes
Here is a list of funny linux user jokes and even better linux user puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a group of Linux users? *Club Penguin.*
- New user: "How come my new printer doesn't work in Linux?" Linus: "You need the right driver." "My chauffeur's outside."
- How does a Linux user evolve Bonsly? sudo woodo
- What killed the Linux user? A terminal disease.
- What is a Linux user's favourite beverage. Root beer.
- What did the Windows user say to his Linux terminal? DIR
- Why shouldn't you have s**... with Linux users? Open sores.
Mac User Jokes
Here is a list of funny mac user jokes and even better mac user puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Mac users care more about the environment more than Windows users Then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin?
- If a Mac user If a Mac user sees a crime being committed, does she become an iWitness?
- Dear Mac users Isn't it dark with no windows
- Mac users like it raw... They always find a way around Trojans.
- They say the eyes are the window to your soul. Unfortunately, this statement triggers many Mac users.
- Mac users swear by their Mac... PC users swear at their PC
- Why is Eric Clapton a Mac user? He had a bad experience with windows.
- Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills? They don't have windows.
Android User Jokes
Here is a list of funny android user jokes and even better android user puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- To all the Android users who just can't seem to gain administrator access to their devices on their own: We're rooting for you!
- Tim Cook officially came out of the closet... at least this is the one time when Android users can't claim that theirs came out first.
- Android users won't get this. Update.
- android fanboys hating on iPhone and its users for years Blew up in their face.
(GALAXY NOTE 7 JOKE)
Comical User Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about user you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean administrator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make user pranks.
What's worse than a1 next to your user name?
A dry steak.
What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it?
A casket
Tech Support
USER: I can't get on the Internet.
SUPPORT: Are you sure you used the right password?
USER: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
SUPPORT: Can you tell me what the password was?
USER: Five dots.
What does the number 3 have in common with a Tumbler user?
They both can't even.
Did you hear about the white Slovakian tumblr user?
He had to Czech his privelige.
Please enter your new password
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIf
YouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
Why don't we let Google Chrome drive?
Because it crashes all the time.
*Disclaimer - shameless chrome user*
Citizen of a secretive dictatorship - AMA!
[this user has been jailed]
Fell through the glass doors of a French bakery and..
.. now I'm in a world of pain :D
(source: Sickipedia, some user called SoSueMe..)
IamA PC user who bought winrar AMA
What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see?
Coffin
What do you call someone who smokes w**... everyday?
A chronic user.
There's a fine line between being a drug addict and a recreational user...
...and I snorted the whole thing.
Why are all the users of Ashley Madison worried about their emails leaking? They will be millionaires when the Nigerian princes finish downloading the file.
Listening to your wife is like reading iTunes' user agreement...
... you don't understand anything, but you still agree with it.
I have a plan to make bathrooms more gender inclusive
This post has been archived.
If you would like to view this post please request it from user /u/Herschel_Frisch.
The reference ID of the post is Submission: 3mpofc.
What did the tumblr user do when she got arthritis?
Massage a knee.
Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?
She identified as pump-kin.
What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?
Napkin.
Each comment thread is a joke, but each user may only post one word.
You may only comment one word, or reply with one word to another comment. Good luck!
What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user?
Meals on Wheels
User interface?
I hardly even know her!
A Instagram user walks into a bar...
A Instagram user walks into a #bar #pub #brewery #happyhour #bigplace #beer #night #party #fun #photography #conceptual #art #drink #peperoni #olives #lights #table #chair #followme
What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user??
Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time ;)
I wonder what will be bigger
The video games of the future or the average Tumblr user
Samsung Gn7 user here. despite all the a**... they're getting I was surprised that it's actually a really great phone
I mean the battery life alone just blew me away
What's the best part about a selfie stick?
You don't have to look far to find something to beat the user of one in the head.
Username goes to the store.
He buys three oranges and goes to the till.
Username checks out.
On Thursday, a user posted the joke "Jesus"...
..which was quickly buried.... It's been 3 days, has anyone seen it ???
My dad and i were driving past a cemetery
When suddenly my dad said in a serious toned voice
"I know something you don't know about this place.The people living in this town aren't allowed to be buried in here"
And i was really confused so i asked why and he said
"Because they are still alive."
Original: tumblr user @hello.
How do you generate a random string?
Put a windows user in front of VIM and tell him to save and exit.
Username walks into a hotel...
And asks for a room. A few days later he leaves.
I guess you could say,
Username checks out.
Arguing with my wife is like reading an End User License Agreement
I don't understand much of what she's saying and end up clicking on 'I Agree' anyway
A username walks to the reception desk of a hotel after staying there a few days.
And it checks out.
What's a pirates least favorite letter
Dear user,
your internet access has ben cut of due to i**... usage
yours truly
comcast
How did the Tinder user get stuck on a date with a neo-n**...?
She swiped alt-right.
My mom told me to make like a Windows 10 user
And live life on Edge.
A m**... user, An alcoholic, and a p**... are all in a car. Who's driving?
The Police.
Soon, usernames will be passed in families as a legacy
"Son, there's something i want you to have.., it's my username"
"Oh jees, thanks dad ! "
"You're welcome son, euh i mean SirSpankALot"
What Is The Hardest Thing for A c**... User To Do?
Nothing.
If users on Tinder are (presumably) single and ready to mingle...
Does that mean users on Grindr are gay and looking to lay?
What's the difference between a poorly designed user interface and Georges Perec's novel A Void?
One is known for a lack of ease of use and the other for a lack of use of e's!
What happens when a stereoid user drives their car?
They get roid rage.
Wanna do a r**... fantasy?
Women: No!
Guy: That's the spirit.
Credit to YouTube user Marbelz3.
A vacuum cleaner company removed their latest model from stores a week after launch,
All user reviews said that it s**....
My ex wouldn't have been a very good sysadmin...
She was very much a $user.
If your username is Mike68, I assume you're 50 years old.
If it's Mike69, I assume you are something like 13 years old.
Told my boss my idea for a game where the user would steal an idol from a cave monster.
He told me to run with it.
I created an online website selling land mines disguised as prayer mats...
Prophets went through the roof
Note: repost, thanks to the kind user who corrected me
After Billy Mays' passing, I found out he was a user of c**.... These are lies.
He was clean! He was oxiclean!
My username is not safe for work.
u/safeforwork was already taken.
What do you call a Midwesterner who uses h**...?
An Ohp-iod user
I love how our names for recreational drug users give an idea of their drug of choice.
If they are a frequent user of m**..., they're a s**....
Some like to include psychedelics, and we call them hippies.
Our c**... lovers are cokeheads.
People obsessed with m**... are tweakers.
Finally some people like Bill Cosby prefer qualudes or rohypnol, and we call them rapists.
What does a Twitter user and Schizophrenic have in common?
They both think outloud.
A beta tester walks into a bar
A beta tester runs into a bar
A beta tester crawls into a bar
A beta tester moonwalks into a bar
A beta tester jumps into a bar
A beta tester sneaks into a bar
A beta tester orders 1 beer
A beta tester orders 2 beers
A beta tester orders 0 beers
A beta tester orders 999999999 beers
A beta tester orders -1 beers
A beta tester orders qwertyuip beers
A beta tester orders a lizard in a cup
A regular user walks into the bar and asks if he can use their toilet
The bar erupts into flames and burns to the ground.
A Reddit user, a Reddit user, and a Reddit user walk into a bar.
The first one orders a coke. Five minutes later the second one orders a coke and the whole bar starts cheering, another five minutes later the third one orders a coke and the whole city erupts in thunderous applause.
A QA walks into the bar
He orders 1 beer
He orders 2 beer
He orders 0 beer
He orders -1 beer
He orders qwerty beer
He orders #^{^+]%_@$ beer.
Everything is fine.
The user walks into the bar and asks where's the toilet
The bar crashes
Little Red Riding Hood and the s**... Master.
As a victim to be, I need to get closer to the Big Bad Wolf disguised as my grandmother so that he has a better user experience when he eats me.
A Tik-Tok user who shot videos in the airport was taken to the hospital today..
He was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
A software tester walks into a bar.
He orders a beer, -1 beers, 50 beers, nuhriuh beers, NULL beers. The barman happily fulfils the orders he can, and declines the ones he can't.
A software user walks into the same bar, and asks the barman where the toilets are. The barman explodes, the bar burns to the ground, and the building collapses
A Reddit user robs a bank.
Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
How does a Reddit user get karma when they don't deserve it?
Piece of cake
Finally broke down and joined Christian Mingle.
My user name is: CumGetPsalmOfThisDick if you're looking for a good time.
A drug addict, a man taking a nap, and Donald Trump.
What are a user, a snoozer, and a sore loser.
In honour of my first cake day, here's a few of my favourite riddles. Feel free to try them on your friends.
Q: What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?
A: A hole
Q: What two words have thousands of letters in them?
A: Post office
Q: The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
A: A coffin
Q: What travels all over the world, but stays in the corner?
A: A stamp
Q: What runs all around a field, but doesn't move?
A: A fence
Q: What starts with E, ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope
Due to Policy Changes
Prenuptial's will now be called End User License Agreements
What is the most surprising, deranging, and panicking thing for a reddit user ?
Unprepared blue cheese.
A Facebook user walks into a bar...
He orders a shot, takes it, then proceeds to tell the whole bar about it. Then, he gets upset at everyone that doesn't want to take shots with him.
Internet discussion:
user kiki357: HEEEEY, HOW ARE YOU? I'M NEW HERE!
user ukili: Try pressing CapsLock.
user kiki357: AWESOME, NOW I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP PRESSING SHIFT!!!!
How do you confuse a reddit user?
You post a brand new joke.
(O.C)
