Useless Jokes

• Short Useless Jokes
• Useless One Liners
• Useless Things Jokes
• Useless Job Jokes
• Useless Men Jokes
• Useless Facts Jokes
• More Useless Jokes

Funniest Useless Short Jokes

Short useless jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The useless humour may include short pointless jokes also.

1. My mother used to say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Lovely woman. Useless surgeon.
2. If you ever feel useless... ​
   Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
   
   the Taliban
3. I told my friend I have an acute sense of when a deep hole with water is nearby. He said thats a useless ability. I'm well aware
4. Tried to change my password to Twilight... ...but got an error message saying please re-enter as this contains too many useless characters :(
5. I tried changing my password to "Twilight". It said "Error: contains too many useless characters"
6. If you ever feel useless in life Remember it is someone's job to install turn signals on BMW's
7. Google is useless... I tried looking up lighters and all they had was 48,200,000 matches.
8. Just tried to change my password to.. Just tried to change my password to.. 'The_Last_Jedi,' but Facebook wouldn't let me. Said there are too many useless characters.
9. Trump's wall will be useless since it doesn't extend into the oceans..... Everyone knows Jesus can walk on water.
10. Tinder is completely useless, and I don't have a single match If I don't find another way to start a campfire tonight, I'll freeze to death.

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Useless One Liners

Which useless one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with useless? I can suggest the ones about worthless and unnecessary.

1. eBay is so useless I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 18,061 matches
2. eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters, but all they had was 13,239 matches.
3. A history degree is useless There's no future in it.
4. I bet you can't name a useless, non functioning member of society. My parents did.
5. eBay is so useless. I was just looking for a lighter, and all they had was 1327 matches.
6. Fidget spinners are useless Says the generation that bought 1.5 million pet rocks.
7. What's more useless than a Gender Studies degree? the feminist holding it
8. A Pure Mathematics degree is useless… I want a Pure mathematics radian.
9. Remember…you are not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example.
10. A history degree is useless Because there's no future in it.
11. calculator are useless What I need is a calcunow
12. I lost 130 pounds of useless fat! Divorce is great!
13. I wanted to see if this Hindi joke still works in English My son.
    Nope, still useless.
14. eBay is useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had were 13,749 matches.
15. What's black and completely useless to society? Decaf coffee... obviously.

Useless Things Jokes

Here is a list of funny useless things jokes and even better useless things puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the most useless thing on a woman? A drunken Irishmen at 3am.
  [EDIT]: This isn't meant to be sexist, it is self-defamation.
• What's the most useless thing about a knife? The 'K'
• School bullying ME: The bullies at school stole my lunch money again.
  DAD: Did you tell anyone?
  ME: Yes, but they just say things like "be strong", "stop crying", and "you're a useless teacher .
• Why you should date a girl who loves the houseplant? Because she learned to take care a useless thing that sits in the house and do nothing.
• I got an odd-job man in. He was useless! Gave him a list of eight things to do and he only did numbers one, three, five and seven.
• What are three most useless things in aviation? The runway behind you.
  The altitude above you.
  The fuel back at the fbo still in the fuel truck.
• What's the most useless thing ever? Anne Frank's drum kit.
• What's the most useless thing on a woman? A drunk Irishman.
• It's a huge flex to spend a lot on something effectively useless, dirty, loud, and ugly. It's a thing of beauty to see you have such a strong mutual relationship with your mother.
• Pie Charte are useless except for one thing They're great at visualising round numbers

Useless Job Jokes

Here is a list of funny useless job jokes and even better useless job puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was disappointed when it turned out the axe I bought to climb with was useless for the job... it was an anti-climb axe
• Hired an odd-job man the other but he was useless Gave him eight jobs to do but he only did 1,3,5 and 7
• Me and my twin brother are 20 years old and never had a job or girlfriend. Today my dad said if he knew we would have turned out so useless he would have named us thoughts and prayers.
• Whats the worlds most useless job? installing BMW turn signals.
• If you think that your job is useless and does not make any difference in the world, consider that there are people out there making turn signals for BMW.
• What is the most useless job in the world? The line workers responsible for making BMW turn signals
• If you ever feel useless, just remember someone's job is installing turn signals on new BMWs
• Teachers make no money because... Their job is useless! Haha lol! :(
• If you ever feel useless Remember that someone's job is to install turn signal systems at BMW

Useless Men Jokes

Here is a list of funny useless men jokes and even better useless men puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Men are like steel They're useless when they lose their temper
• How are men like fuses? Once they're blown, they're useless.

Useless Facts Jokes

Here is a list of funny useless facts jokes and even better useless facts puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I've been researching some useless facts... Want some examples?
  I have found out that there are over 10,000 different types of lice.
  And that's just off the top of my head.
• Nooo s**...…me buying too much stuff?! My wife was complaining about the fact that I'm buying too much useless stuff on the internet…..
  So I sent her back to Thailand.

Great Useless Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about useless you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean meaningless jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make useless pranks.