The Best 35 Us Election Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Us Election jokes. There are some us election jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these us election puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Us Election Jokes and Puns

Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote

Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious

I Hear that Russia is so mad about the US airstrike in syria

That they are seriously considering voting democratic in the next election.

Obama walks into a bar.....

Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.

Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"

"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."

"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were terrorist hotspots not too long ago?"

"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."

"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"

"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."

Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:

"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.

Why i love being Russian

I get to vote in the US election

FYI: I am actually British and never have stepped foot in Russia

It's 294 days after the US Election...

...Biden has progressed to 269.99 electoral votes, and Nevada has discovered 26 million uncounted postal votes that were discovered on 'Storage Wars'. More updates coming soon.


Only a few weeks left before Election Day in the US and I am still undecided...

...if I should move to Canada or New Zealand.

Why isn't NSA mass surveillance a hot topic in the US elections?

Because it's the only part of the govt that listens to the American people.

What do you call it when you see two sexual predators running?

2020 US Presidential Election

The results of the election are in!

Oops, sorry, that info is only for us Russians.

I was going to make a joke about the result of the US election

But I don't think you would ever get it

The 2020 Election Results are in!

Oh sorry, this is just for us Russians.

You can explore us election reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean us election dad jokes. There are also us election puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What does a bidet and 46th US President-Elect Biden have in common?

They both clean up after assholes

Trumps election win is like his erection

He keeps on telling us that it was large, magnificent, and very hard. But we all know it was small, pathetic, and needed a little assistance to happen.

I kinda want Hillary to win the US election

Just for the sheer irony of her sitting at the desk Monica was under.

Not sure if this is the right place to post, but after the US election results from last night, I need help creating a new dating website. It will help desperate American men and women find love in Canada.

It'll be called ehHarmony

As a brown person in the US...

People would yell at me to get out of their country and I would get offended and feel attacked.

After election 2016, I just reply, "thanks for the concern! You should too!"

Why did the block of cheese run in the US presidential election?

Because he wanted to make America grate again.

The US government has been trying to get rid of Fidel Castro for 50 years.

Trump gets elected, and Castro is dead within 3 weeks.

What do call the world's biggest puppet show?

The US presidential election.


I don't get people who try to predict the next US presidential election

I mean, do they think they have 2020 vision?

The US is the only country in the world to say "Our president is such a douche...

I bet a monkey could do a better job" and then actually follow through by electing an orangutan as their president.

*Spoiler* US Presidential Election Result Leaked

The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins.

Maybe Trump is right,and he's been warning us all along

If he's elected, there will be a wall, and mexico will pay for it, to keep americans out

My mother-in-law can murder any joke.

After the 2000 Presidential elections with the multiple vote recounts in Florida, she came home and told us the funniest joke she had just heard:

Have you seen the new Texas quarter?



You count it five times!

What TV show can you compare to the 2016 US presidential elections?

Orange is the new black.

Canada was shocked when they heard the US had adopted the Loonie .

Elected him president even.

I went to the local library

And found out that the post apocalyptic section has been shifted to current affairs after the us elections 2016

Pyongyang launches nuclear missile following end of US election

Just kidding, thought I should lighten the mood a little.

The US has avoided disaster..

by electing Donald Trump, our country's cumulative sigh of relief that surely would've thrown our planet out of its orbit and into the sun, has been avoided.

If the US elections were a series, what would be the title of it's latest season finale?

Orange is the new black.

I'm sorry, you'll have to come back later. Satan's out for a week.

He's rigging the US Election for an old friend.

What's the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann?

News of the elections is getting old.

A Racist, a viciously jealous wife and a socialist walk into a room...

Welcome to the US General election debate!

Heard the one about the Russian hacker meddling in US elections?

The FBI agent monitoring your phone is going to love it!

What does the US and Russia have in common?

Both of their elected leaders are current or former Russian Intelligence Agents.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the us election jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working us election piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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