The Best 50 Urologist Jokes

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny urology jokes. From bad puns to hilarious one-liners, we've got jokes to make any urologist smile.

Top 10 Funniest Urologist Jokes and Puns

4 out of 5 urologists...

...smell their apple juice before they drink it.

A man goes to see the urologist...

And the Doctor says: "Sir, I must tell you that you have to stop masturbating." Shocked, the man asks for what reason. Doctor replies: "Because otherwise I can't examine you."

What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?


What do you get a man who has everything?

A good urologist.

As an urologist I like telling lame jokes to my patients in the clinic

Best part is, they can't say "Cut it out doc!"

A man has an appointment with a urologist.

The man is sitting on the examination table when the Urologist walks in. The urologist glances at the man's medical history, makes a few notes and then says: "Look, I hate to break it to you, but you have to stop masturbating."

The man frowns and says, "Why, Doc?"

The urologist responds: "So I can examine you."

Why are urologists selfish?

Because they're all about number one

Urologist joke, Why are urologists selfish?

I went to the urologist today

The doctor was a stunning, late 20s blue eyed blonde gal.

She said "Sir - stop masturbating."

So I said "Why?"

"So I can examine you."

How did the urologist ruin his Christmas? [OC]

He looked inside Santa's sack.

if a fat doctor gives you a vasectomy, why should you ask him about the weather?

because he's a meaty urologist!

What did the urologist say to his physician before he hired him?


I'll let myself out.

You can explore urologist bladder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean urologist prostate dad jokes. There are also urologist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication?

Urine trouble!

What do you call a urologist who accidentally dumps his entire practice's supply of Flomax down the drain?

In trouble with his peers.

Why do urologists like UTIs?

It means urine business.

The blind circumcisionist

What happened to the blind circumcisionist?

He got the sack!

Don't think Circumcisionist is a real word but it sounds better then surgeon or urologist.

So I'm about to have a unilateral orchiectomy (true story)...

and I say to the urologist surgeon, "I guess the ball's in your court now"

Urologist joke, So I'm about to have a unilateral orchiectomy (true story)...

I took my African American spouse to the urologist...

He told me how to fix my black wive's bladder.

Ran into a PokΓ© urologist today...

He makes PokΓ©mon go.

What's the difference between a weatherman and an overweight doctor that handles the urinary tract?

One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist.

Urologist told me a joke during my vasectomy...

So during my vasectomy it was just me and the younger female doctor in the room. She was talking with me to distract me and said you want to hear a good vasectomy joke? Of course I said yes, not knowing it was going to go this way.

If a Bluebird has blue babies, a blackbird has black babies, a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?

A Swallow!

So I called my urologist...

Receptionist: "Can you hold?"

Me: "No...that's why I'm calling"

I knew a fat doctor once, who was obsessed with the weather.

He was a meaty urologist.

What do you call a hamburger that studies the urinary tract?

A Meaty Urologist

What did the job interviewer say to the urologist after his successful job interview?

Urine, doctor.

Before Shark week I took my cable box to the urologist

He had a weak stream

I got thrown out of an exam for masturbating

I'll never be able to look my urologist in the eye again.

Urologist joke, I got thrown out of an exam for masturbating

The urologist complains to the ventriloquist saying...

"My job sucks, I have to put my finger up butts all day"

The ventriloquist replies "Oh, you think yours is tough? Try your whole hand!

What do you call a non-religious Urologist?

An apostate feelin' your prostate.

Thanos goes to his urologist.

The urologist says, "Congrats Thanos, you now also have the kidney stone"

Why do men think with their penises instead of their brains?

They prefer to think with an open mind.

(As told to me at work today by my favourite 78 year old urologist)

Send a picture to my Dermatologist that was meant for my Urologist.

She responded:
"Not to worry, thats just a blimp. "

Why did the urologist lose his license?

He got in trouble with his peers

What did the Urologist shout when she made a medical breakthrough?


Urology joke I made up today

What does the the urologist say to the accepted internship applicant?

Ur-ine dadum tss

This shall not pass

Your urologist about you kidney stone

Why did the Scotsman visit the Urologist?

Because he had a wee problem.

I just got a Vasectomy...

The urologist gave me a cup and said I had to fill it in 60 days then bring it back for a sperm count. I guess the surgery doesn't make a vas deferens right away...

Did you hear about the urologist who got rich doing scrotal lifts for aging men?

He decided to go for the low hanging fruit

The doctor who checked my prostate looked like he spent five days a week at the gym. So I asked him what the weather was going to do...

...he was clearly a meaty urologist.

I went to see my obese doctor about a burning sensation when i pee.

My morbidly obese doctor gave me medicine and told me on monday there will be a chance of warm sprinkles with a little bit of precipitate. Tuesday through thursday it will cool off and by friday the conditions down there will be clear and normal.

He's quite the meaty urologist.

Jose went to the urologist for an exam...

When he removed his pants the doctor was surprised at what he saw.

"You have two penises!" Said the doctor.

"Yeah, I know." Jose replies, "I call the one on the left 'Little Jose.'"

The doctor smiles at the joke, "What about the other one?"

"I call that one 'Little Hose B.'

I'm getting a vasectomy tomorrow

I'll tell my urologist she can start with either side because ultimately it doesn't make a vas deferens.

What did the urologist say when they made a discovery?


Detective Work

A urologist is sitting down to lunch when he gets a call from a NYPD detective. Puzzled, he picks up the phone and listens as the detective details the fact patterns of a homicide. After about 5 minutes the detective finishes, re-summarizes the facts, and asks the urologist: "Who do you think committed the murder?"

The urologist says "Listen, fella, I think you have the wrong number. I'm a doctor."

The detective says "Right! So, in urinalysis, who committed the crime?

Meaty Urologist joke

By the way, why are all the weather forecasts on television given by meaty urologists?

What do you call a fat doctor who can predict the weather?

A meaty urologist.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can?

His wife died.

Credit to Mike Zahalsky, Urologist

What do you call a buff guy who predicts the weather and can treat a UTI?

A meaty urologist.



BONUS (courtesy of my girlfriend)


What do call someone who's available 24/7 and treats cancer?

An always oncologist.

The Optimist says "the glass is half full"

The Pessimist says, "NO it's half empty!"

The Urologist says, "well it's gonna be full soon!"

The Urophiliac says, "aaaawwww yeah!"

I asked my urologist which was more impressive, a uterus or fallopian tubes.

He said "I dunno, there's not a vas deferens."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the urologist proctologist puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working urologist tract piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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