Urologist Jokes
57 urologist jokes and hilarious urologist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about urologist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny urology jokes. From bad puns to hilarious one-liners, we've got jokes to make any urologist smile.
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Funniest Urologist Short Jokes
Short urologist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The urologist humour may include short gynaecologist jokes also.
- Thanos goes to his urologist. The urologist says, "Congrats Thanos, you now also have the kidney stone"
- So I called my urologist... Receptionist: "Can you hold?"
Me: "No...that's why I'm calling" - Meaty Urologist joke By the way, why are all the weather forecasts on television given by meaty urologists?
- I'm getting a vasectomy tomorrow I'll tell my urologist she can start with either side because ultimately it doesn't make a vas deferens.
- The doctor who checked my prostate looked like he spent five days a week at the gym. So I asked him what the weather was going to do... ...he was clearly a meaty urologist.
- The Optimist says "the glass is half full" The Pessimist says, "NO it's half empty!"
The Urologist says, "well it's gonna be full soon!"
The Urophiliac says, "aaaawwww yeah!" - The blind circumcisionist What happened to the blind circumcisionist?
He got the sack!
Don't think Circumcisionist is a real word but it sounds better then surgeon or urologist. - Why did the chubby kidney doctor go to the weather convention? He heard they were looking for meaty urologists.
- As an urologist I like telling lame jokes to my patients in the clinic Best part is, they can't say "Cut it out doc!"
- Did you hear about the urologist who got rich doing scrotal lifts for aging men? He decided to go for the low hanging fruit
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Urologist One Liners
Which urologist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with urologist? I can suggest the ones about gynecologist and ophthalmologist.
- 4 out of 5 urologists... ...smell their apple juice before they drink it.
- What do you call a fat doctor who can predict the weather? A meaty urologist.
- What do you get a man who has everything? A good urologist.
- Why are urologists selfish? Because they're all about number one
- What did the group of urologists name their band? I See Pee.
- Why did the Scotsman visit the Urologist? Because he had a wee problem.
- What do you call a non-religious Urologist? An apostate feelin' your prostate.
- So I had to call the urologist's office today.... They told me to please hold :(
- Ran into a Poké urologist today... He makes Pokémon go.
- What did the pee say when it was blocked by a kidney stone? "u**... my way."
- Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers
- What do you call urologist conference? Pee'r review
- A rapper walks into a Urologist's office. The receptionist says, UTI? Naw, I'm Ludacris
- Before Shark week I took my cable box to the urologist He had a weak stream
- What do you call a hamburger that studies the urinary tract? A Meaty Urologist
Howlingly Hilarious Urologist Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about urologist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean er doctor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make urologist pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?
u**....
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I called the urologist's office for an appointment for erectile dysfunction. The g**... the phone checked the calendar and said, "alright, let's see if we can get you in.."
I said, "exactly."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
if a fat doctor gives you a vasectomy, why should you ask him about the weather?
because he's a meaty urologist!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the urologist say to his physician before he hired him?
u**....
I'll let myself out.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication?
u**... trouble!
What do you call a urologist who accidentally dumps his entire practice's supply of Flomax down the drain?
In trouble with his peers.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do urologists like UTIs?
It means u**... business.
So I'm about to have a unilateral orchiectomy (true story)...
and I say to the urologist surgeon, "I guess the ball's in your court now"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Urologist told me a joke during my vasectomy...
So during my vasectomy it was just me and the younger female doctor in the room. She was talking with me to distract me and said you want to hear a good vasectomy joke? Of course I said yes, not knowing it was going to go this way.
If a Bluebird has blue babies, a blackbird has black babies, a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?
A s**...!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the job interviewer say to the urologist after his successful job interview?
u**..., doctor.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got thrown out of an exam for m**...
I'll never be able to look my urologist in the eye again.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do men think with their p**... instead of their brains?
They prefer to think with an open mind.
(As told to me at work today by my favourite 78 year old urologist)
Send a picture to my Dermatologist that was meant for my Urologist.
She responded:
"Not to worry, thats just a blimp. "
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just got a Vasectomy...
The urologist gave me a cup and said I had to fill it in 60 days then bring it back for a s**... count. I guess the surgery doesn't make a vas deferens right away...
I went to see my obese doctor about a burning sensation when i pee.
My morbidly obese doctor gave me medicine and told me on monday there will be a chance of warm sprinkles with a little bit of precipitate. Tuesday through thursday it will cool off and by friday the conditions down there will be clear and normal.
He's quite the meaty urologist.
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Jose went to the urologist for an exam...
When he removed his pants the doctor was surprised at what he saw.
"You have two p**...!" Said the doctor.
"Yeah, I know." Jose replies, "I call the one on the left 'Little Jose.'"
The doctor smiles at the joke, "What about the other one?"
"I call that one 'Little Hose B.'
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What did the urologist say when they made a discovery?
u**...!
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Detective Work
A urologist is sitting down to lunch when he gets a call from a NYPD detective. Puzzled, he picks up the phone and listens as the detective details the fact patterns of a h**.... After about 5 minutes the detective finishes, re-summarizes the facts, and asks the urologist: "Who do you think committed the m**...?"
The urologist says "Listen, fella, I think you have the wrong number. I'm a doctor."
The detective says "Right! So, in urinalysis, who committed the crime?
What do you call a buff guy who predicts the weather and can treat a UTI?
A meaty urologist.
BONUS (courtesy of my girlfriend)
What do call someone who's available 24/7 and treats cancer?
An always oncologist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Picture this: you go to a urologist's office, and along with all their other patients, you contribute a u**... sample. The doctor puts everyone's sample bottles in a little machine that spins them around really fast. Congratulations! You've just...
visualized whirled pees.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my urologist which was more impressive, a u**... or fallopian tubes.
He said "I dunno, there's not a vas deferens."
A man goes to the doctor because it burns when he pees.
When the doctor walks in the man notices how buff he is. This doctor is SWOLE.
The exam begins and after some time the muscular physician cannot stop bringing up the weather.
"Hotter than normal this time of year, don't you think?"
"There's a storm coming in this weekend."
On and on he goes.
After this continues for some time the man asks, "why do you keep talking about the weather? This has nothing to do with it burning when I pee."
"My apologies," said the doctor. "I'm a Meaty Urologist."
Worried boy goes to doctor
A teenager worried about having three testicles goes to a urologist. The urologist assures him that it's nothing to worry about.
Relieved from tension, the boy goes to a stranger and says, "Did you know that there are 5 testicles among the two of us."
The stranger says, "I'm very sorry that you have only one".
