Urologist Jokes

57 urologist jokes and hilarious urologist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about urologist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny urology jokes. From bad puns to hilarious one-liners, we've got jokes to make any urologist smile.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Urologist Short Jokes

Short urologist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The urologist humour may include short gynaecologist jokes also.

  1. Thanos goes to his urologist. The urologist says, "Congrats Thanos, you now also have the kidney stone"
  2. if a fat doctor gives you a vasectomy, why should you ask him about the weather? because he's a meaty urologist!
  3. What's the difference between a weatherman and an overweight doctor that handles the urinary tract? One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist.
  4. What do you call an overweight kidney doctor who can also predict the weather? A meaty-urologist
  5. So I called my urologist... Receptionist: "Can you hold?"
    Me: "No...that's why I'm calling"
  6. Meaty Urologist joke By the way, why are all the weather forecasts on television given by meaty urologists?
  7. I'm getting a vasectomy tomorrow I'll tell my urologist she can start with either side because ultimately it doesn't make a vas deferens.
  8. The doctor who checked my prostate looked like he spent five days a week at the gym. So I asked him what the weather was going to do... ...he was clearly a meaty urologist.
  9. The Optimist says "the glass is half full" The Pessimist says, "NO it's half empty!"
    The Urologist says, "well it's gonna be full soon!"
    The Urophiliac says, "aaaawwww yeah!"
  10. The blind circumcisionist What happened to the blind circumcisionist?
    He got the sack!
    Don't think Circumcisionist is a real word but it sounds better then surgeon or urologist.

Share These Urologist Jokes With Friends

Urologist One Liners

Which urologist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with urologist? I can suggest the ones about gynecologist and ophthalmologist.

  1. 4 out of 5 urologists... ...smell their apple juice before they drink it.
  2. What do you call a fat doctor who can predict the weather? A meaty urologist.
  3. What do you get a man who has everything? A good urologist.
  4. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can? His wife died.
    Credit to Mike Zahalsky, Urologist
  5. I knew a fat doctor once, who was obsessed with the weather. He was a meaty urologist.
  6. Why are urologists selfish? Because they're all about number one
  7. What did the group of urologists name their band? I See Pee.
  8. Why did the Scotsman visit the Urologist? Because he had a wee problem.
  9. What do you call a non-religious Urologist? An apostate feelin' your prostate.
  10. So I had to call the urologist's office today.... They told me to please hold :(
  11. Ran into a Poké urologist today... He makes Pokémon go.
  12. What did the pee say when it was blocked by a kidney stone? "u**... my way."
  13. Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers
  14. What do you call urologist conference? Pee'r review
  15. A rapper walks into a Urologist's office. The receptionist says, UTI? Naw, I'm Ludacris

Urologist joke, A rapper walks into a Urologist's office. The receptionist says,  UTI?

Howlingly Hilarious Urologist Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about urologist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean er doctor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make urologist pranks.

A man goes to see the urologist...

And the Doctor says: "Sir, I must tell you that you have to stop m**...." Shocked, the man asks for what reason. Doctor replies: "Because otherwise I can't examine you."

What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?


A man has an appointment with a urologist.

The man is sitting on the examination table when the Urologist walks in. The urologist glances at the man's medical history, makes a few notes and then says: "Look, I hate to break it to you, but you have to stop m**...."
The man frowns and says, "Why, Doc?"
The urologist responds: "So I can examine you."

I called the urologist's office for an appointment for erectile dysfunction. The g**... the phone checked the calendar and said, "alright, let's see if we can get you in.."

I said, "exactly."

I went to the urologist today

The doctor was a stunning, late 20s blue eyed blonde gal.
She said "Sir - stop m**...."
So I said "Why?"
"So I can examine you."

What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication?

u**... trouble!

Why do urologists like UTIs?

It means u**... business.

Urologist told me a joke during my vasectomy...

So during my vasectomy it was just me and the younger female doctor in the room. She was talking with me to distract me and said you want to hear a good vasectomy joke? Of course I said yes, not knowing it was going to go this way.
If a Bluebird has blue babies, a blackbird has black babies, a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?
A s**...!

Why did the chubby kidney doctor go to the weather convention?

He heard they were looking for meaty urologists.

What did the job interviewer say to the urologist after his successful job interview?

u**..., doctor.

I got thrown out of an exam for m**...

I'll never be able to look my urologist in the eye again.

What did the Urologist shout when she made a medical breakthrough?


I just got a Vasectomy...

The urologist gave me a cup and said I had to fill it in 60 days then bring it back for a s**... count. I guess the surgery doesn't make a vas deferens right away...

What do you call a fat weather man that studies p**...?

A meaty-urologist

Jose went to the urologist for an exam...

When he removed his pants the doctor was surprised at what he saw.
"You have two p**...!" Said the doctor.
"Yeah, I know." Jose replies, "I call the one on the left 'Little Jose.'"
The doctor smiles at the joke, "What about the other one?"
"I call that one 'Little Hose B.'

What did the urologist say when they made a discovery?


Detective Work

A urologist is sitting down to lunch when he gets a call from a NYPD detective. Puzzled, he picks up the phone and listens as the detective details the fact patterns of a h**.... After about 5 minutes the detective finishes, re-summarizes the facts, and asks the urologist: "Who do you think committed the m**...?"
The urologist says "Listen, fella, I think you have the wrong number. I'm a doctor."
The detective says "Right! So, in urinalysis, who committed the crime?

What do you call a buff guy who predicts the weather and can treat a UTI?

A meaty urologist.

BONUS (courtesy of my girlfriend)

What do call someone who's available 24/7 and treats cancer?
An always oncologist.

Picture this: you go to a urologist's office, and along with all their other patients, you contribute a u**... sample. The doctor puts everyone's sample bottles in a little machine that spins them around really fast. Congratulations! You've just...

visualized whirled pees.

I asked my urologist which was more impressive, a u**... or fallopian tubes.

He said "I dunno, there's not a vas deferens."

A man goes to the doctor because it burns when he pees.

When the doctor walks in the man notices how buff he is. This doctor is SWOLE.
The exam begins and after some time the muscular physician cannot stop bringing up the weather.
"Hotter than normal this time of year, don't you think?"
"There's a storm coming in this weekend."
On and on he goes.
After this continues for some time the man asks, "why do you keep talking about the weather? This has nothing to do with it burning when I pee."
"My apologies," said the doctor. "I'm a Meaty Urologist."

A man comes to see a urologist...

"When is your earliest urination in the day and how regular is it"? - the doctor asks him.
"Every day, at exactly 8:00, I urinate" - the man responds.
"That's good. How about defecation? Any obstruction"?
"Every day, at exactly 8:10, I d**..., without any obstructions whatsoever" - the man responds.
"That's good, too. But why did you come to see me, then"?
"Because I don't wake up until 9:00"!

Worried boy goes to doctor

A teenager worried about having three testicles goes to a urologist. The urologist assures him that it's nothing to worry about.
Relieved from tension, the boy goes to a stranger and says, "Did you know that there are 5 testicles among the two of us."
The stranger says, "I'm very sorry that you have only one".

Urologist joke, Worried boy goes to doctor