Upside Down Jokes
142 upside down jokes and hilarious upside down puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about upside down that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Upside Down Short Jokes
Short upside down jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The upside down humour may include short hanging upside jokes also.
- My highschool bully still takes my lunch money... But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
- Today I was helping a friend install his fence, but I put in one of the stakes upside down so we had to do it over. Sorry for the repost.
- I am not sure how I feel about having toast for breakfast. On the upside, it's buttered.
On the downside, it isn't. - Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat? You just have to turn it upside down to make it cap sized.
- The Philippines is the only country in the world who turns its flag upside down during times of war while French people remove the red and blue colour
- You know you can fit any boat on your head Just flip it upside down. That makes it capsized
- I was diagnosed with insomnia and it's made me quite sad. But ok the upside, only three more sleeps until Christmas!
- What is the funniest time of day? 7:07 because when you flip it upside down, it says LOL!
This joke was invented by my 8 year old daughter so be nice please :) - I didn't think handstands were traumatic. But I just did one and my whole world was turned upside down.
- Two bats were hanging upside down in a cave The first bat asks the second, Do you remember the worst day of your life?
I sure do," said the second bat. "It was the day I had diarrhea.
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Upside Down One Liners
Which upside down one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with upside down? I can suggest the ones about hanging upside down and upside.
- sapnu puas Turn it upside down ;)
- If your boat turns upside down you can wear it on your head It's capsized.
- If your rowing boat turns upside down, you can wear it as a hat.. It's capsized.
- I got 66 problems And being upside down is one of them
- My grandpa said he was built upside down He said his nose runs and his feet smell.
- There is an upside to eating Tide Pods.... It takes the skid marks out of your underwear.
- What makes the noise of a cow when you turn it upside down? A cow.
- If your nose runs and your feet smell..... You're built upside-down.
- WHAT DO YOU CALL UPSIDE DOWN MEN NEW
- What do you get when you turn a blonde girl upside down? A brunette with bad breath
- I saw an upside down number 6, and I thought... 'That's odd'
- You know if you smell feet and your nose is running Then you just might be upside down
- The upside to your parachute not working You have the rest of your life to fix it!
- How do you get four gay guys on a barstool? Turn it upside-down.
- Is there any upside to living in Switzerland?? The flag is a big plus.
Hanging Upside Down Jokes
Here is a list of funny hanging upside down jokes and even better hanging upside down puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- 2 bats hanging on a branch Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"
The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!" - What do you call a Wayan's Brother hanging upside down in South America? A Mayan Brother!
- There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one.
Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one?
I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted. - What do bats and Australians have in common? They both hang out upside down.
- why does a fly hang upside down ? to take the weight of its feet.
- What kind of bat hangs upside-down? An acrobat.
Upside Down Pineapple Jokes
Here is a list of funny upside down pineapple jokes and even better upside down pineapple puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You know what they say about non sequiturs... I LOVE pineapple upside down cake!
(I just made this up today, and I'm so proud. I told my coworkers, but they told me to stop doing drugs.) - What's Eleven's favorite dessert? Pineapple upside-down cake.
- If you turn pineapple upside down cake right side up, it's just cake.
Hilarious Fun Upside Down Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about upside down you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean turned upside jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make upside down pranks.
On the upside, Oscar Pistorus has had his paralympic classification promoted...
...he's gone from T43 (double below knee amputee) all the way up to T800 (The Terminator).
Dr joke I just made up
A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the young intern was embarrassed by his mistake, the doctor said, "don't feel embarrassed, lad, there's more than one way to skim a CAT."
Marylou
One day, as a husband was reading the Sunday paper, his wife smacked him upside the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" cried the husband.
"I was doing your laundry when I found a piece of paper with the name of Marylou on it!" screamed the wife. "Who is she? Are you cheating on me?"
"Honey don't worry. Remember when I went to the horse race three weeks ago with my friends? Marylou was the name of the horse I was betting on.
Satisfied, the wife continued doing the laundry. A few hours later, the wife smacked the husband with a frying pan again.
"What was that for?" said the annoyed husband.
"Your horse called."
Gay guys in a bar
Four gay guys walk into a bar and see that there's only one stool left. What do they do?
[They turn it upside down.](/spoiler)
Two Irish men renovating a house
p**... is pulling up the floorboards and placing the nails into two piles.
m**... says "p**..., why are ye puttin the nails in two piles?"
To which p**... replies, "these ones I'm goin tae use again but those other ones are upside down"
m**... then says, "p**... you eedjit, ye can use them for the ceiling!"
Elephants!
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
...So they can hide in strawberry patches.
Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
...So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard.
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding upside down in a bowl of custard?
How about in a strawberry patch?
No?
See, it works!
Need a Break!
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office....
When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?"
He replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"
How do you fit four g**... on one stool?
Flip it upside-down.
(sorry in advance)
A lawyer and a cop
A lawyer ran a stop sign and was immediately pulled over by a cop. The lawyer started shouting, "I slowed down! No one was coming! What's the difference?"
The cop asked him to step out of his car. As soon as the lawyer was out, the cop pulled out his baton and starting beating the guy. Quickly, left, right, upside the head, everywhere.
After a few minutes, the officer stops, looks at the lawyer and says, "Now....do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up!
I heard this pitiful joke when I was a teen.
Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up.
So four gay guys walk into a crowded bar
So four gay guys walk into a crowded bar, there is only one stool free. How do they all sit?
They turn the stool upside down
My new favorite s**... position is called "wow".
It's where I turn your mom upside down.
Switzerland on Austrians: Why is the Austrian flag 'red-white-red'?
So that they can't raise it upside-down
How to get a day off at work
Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off.
Man: And how would you do that?
Woman: Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
Boss comes in: What are you doing?
Woman: I'm a light bulb.
Boss: You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.
The man starts to follow her and the boss says:
Where are you going?
The man says: I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.
Confucius say.......
........woman who fly in plane upside down, crack up.
What do you call an upside-down "W"?
An M-poster
ɯǝlqoɹd lɐɔᴉuɥɔǝʇ llɐɯs ɐ ǝʌɐɥ I ˙ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ ɯoɹɟ ƆԀ ʍǝu ɐ pǝɹǝpɹo I
Read it upside down
How do you quadruple the capacity of a gay bar?
Turn all the stools upside down.
(Not trying to offend anyone, just a raunchy joke I heard from my GFs dad)
o**... Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message
o**... Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message to let him know he is still alive:-
"370H SSV 0773H." Bush is baffled. Condi Rice and her aides and even the FBI and CIA
can't decipher it. So they ask Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 replies:-
"Er, tell the President he's holding the message upside down."
Why does your blood rush to your head when you're upside down but not to your feet when you're right side up?
Your feet aren't empty.
A doctor checks on two roommates in an insane asylum...
He walks into their room to find one man hanging upside down from the ceiling fan by his feet. The other man sits below him, putting together wooden blocks.
The doctor asks, "How are you two doing?"
The man on the floor says, "Oh, I'm building a castle. Don't mind that guy up there, he's okay but a little crazy, thinks he's a lightbulb."
"Well, let's get him down before he hurts himself."
The sitting man stares back in shock. "And work in the *dark*?!"
What do you get when you turn 4 blondes upside down?
4 brunettes
What do Australians call upside down cake?
Cake.
My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke
Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.
My lame joke:
>"Maybe I just like flat breasted turkeys."
Wife looks down at her chest:
>"Well now I feel self-conscious... Wait, is that why you always turn me face down?"
Everybody starts roaring with laughter and her dad turned bright red.
Two factory workers are talking.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
How do you make Helen Keller cry?
Turn the stool upside-down
Why was Fernando Alonso upside down?
Because he Haas been hit!
Tom is hanging with John and John's monkey...
...and John asks "Do you want to see something cool?" and Tom says yes. John then smacks his monkey upside the head and the monkey starts s**... John off.
John asks Tom if he wants some of that and Tom says "Yea, just don't s**... me upside the head too hard."
I was born upside down
My nose runs and my feet smell
During wartime, the Philippine flag is flipped upside down so the red part is on top
The same thing is done with the French flag, but instead they remove the red and blue colors
The one upside to having twins
Deciding how to split child custody during the divorce.
How do you spot a m**... - head in Wal-Mart...
In the light - bulb isle with their cart turned upside down, fixing a squeaky wheel.
I treat my wife the same way I treat a bottle of ketchup...
I always take the top off, flip it upside down, and hit it has hard as I can.
How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Six - one to try and reach the socket, and the other five to stand around saying that its too high for her.
Let's turn that frown upside down!
** **does handstand** **
I picked up an upside down bag of candy and ate it all in one go.
I just love W&W's.
Turn your phone upside down to read the following message.
sapnu puas
What is the most popular cheese in "the Upside Down"?
Demogorgonzola
p**... and m**... are on a rollercoaster
Getting strapped in, p**... turns to m**....
"When we go upside down, will we fall out?"
"I hope not p**..., we've been pals for years."
I tried m**... upside down last night ...
I don't know what come over me.
We just rented the DVD movie "Rules Don't Apply" and I put it in upside down.
It was wrong.
My physics teacher told me that even though I may feel down, that there's always an upside in life
So she pushed me into the pool and begun the lesson on buoyancy.
I fell off the top rung of a 30 foot ladder today...
... fortunately I was using it upside down.
Trump receives a message
Last week Trump received a coded message, reportedly from Chinese Hackers.
It read: 370HSSV-0773H
Trump was stumped and asked Pence what the message could mean. Pence was totally stumped too, so they passed it to the top American programmers, who spent 2 days trying to decipher it. Knackered, the programmers sent it to the FBI.
The Director of the FBI suggested Trump should turn the message upside down.
How many g**... can you put on a barstool?
Four, if you put it upside down.
Credit to my gay friend Wheezie.
Some words look lit when read upside down
Like " sapnu puaS "
Two Irish men are in a plane when the roof comes off!
Donal says to p**..., "If this plane turns upside down will we fall out?"
"No way Donal" says p**..., smiling, "we'll still be best friends."
How do you get 4 h**... to sit on a stool?
You turn it upside down.
How do you send a caterpillar 100 feet into the air?
Turn it upside down
The word mom looks like wow upside down
Just like your mom
I f**... on my mother-in-law and everyone around us could smell it but her.
That's one upside of being in a coffin.
How do you turn a frown upside down? :(
Like this ):
I was flying to America with my best mate
He asked "if the plane tipped upside down, would we fall out?"
I said, "no, we'd still be friends."
The upside of having Alzheimers...
is seeing a new woman in your bed every morning.
I like to watch my neighbors getting it on upside down
They probably think im inverted.
How can you tell if you're upside down?
Your nose is running and you're feet smell
My dad told me he put a draw bridge at our house.
Turns out, he installed the garage door upside down.
This criminal invaded my house and turned my phone book upside down without me realising.
Instead of the cops there's some angry guy with a pitchfork on my doorstep.
A man walks into his doctor's office and says: My nose just keeps on running,
But that's not even the worst part about me either, doc. My feet smell an awful lot! Surely you must have a remedy for both.
The doctor replies: Well I'm sorry to tell you there's nothing I can do. It doesn't seem like you need a medical professional, but rather a bio-mechanical engineer!
After a confused look from the man the doctor explains: You've been built upside down.
Two Irishmen are nailing a floor
Patty picks up a nail, looks at it and throws it away. He picks up another, looks at it and throws it away as well. m**... sees him and asks what he's doing.
Patty - Them nails were no good, they were upside down.
m**... - You idiot, save those ones for the roof...
Why did the Australians lose the emu war?
Cuz they were upside down
Boobless calculator joke
There was a woman who had 69" b**....
For her those were two, two, two heavy.
She went to 51st Street to see Dr X.
The doctor operated on her 8 times.
After that she became 55378008
Turn it upside-down and it says “BOOBLESS.”
