Upper Jokes
66 upper jokes and hilarious upper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about upper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will provide a collection of the best upper jokes with the perfect combination of puns, rhymes, and one-liners. Our collection of one upper jokes and puns will help fix your dull sense of humor. Explore the amazing world of upper lip puns, upper peninsula jokes, upper class quips, upper management one-liners, upper level math jokes, and upper east side puns. Plus, you'll find funny piston jokes, wrecker puns, and outer jokes. Read on and tickle your funny bone!
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Funniest Upper Short Jokes
Short upper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The upper humour may include short outer jokes also.
- Call it a hunch... But I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine.
- Me: "Alexa, add tinfoil for hats to my shopping cart." Alexa: "I ordered yesterday after I noticed you had 3 sheets left in your upper right cupboard. You're all good."
- Danny and Kathy sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage... Then comes watching your child slowly die because you were too upper middle class to vaccinate them.
- The gynecologist down the street is selling the upper floors of his practice... ...He only works in the downstairs area anyway...
- My friend broke his upper arm. If you're wondering how this is a joke, it's not really. I just found it humerus.
- Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers? It's a shifty business.
- Here in Michigan's Upper Peninsula we have a program for recovering Canadians. It's called Eh Eh.
- Upper class people avoid using the term "69" as they feel it's uncouth... They refer to it as "181".
- Why don't upper class men wash their own clothes? Because the washing powder is a deter-gent.
- I just had to put my dog down. I never want to do that again. I'm going to work on my upper body strength.
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Upper One Liners
Which upper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with upper? I can suggest the ones about superior and ultimate.
- How do you disarm a man with a knife? Cut between the shoulder and upper arm.
- There's no such thing as the funny bone... But I heard the upper arm is quite humerus.
- I made a joke about the bone of my upper arm It was humerus
- What kind of pills did Jesus take before Ascension? Uppers
- .I was asked why I had small amounts of drugs taped to my upper lip . I said it's mustash
- What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale? A top-of-the-lime model.
- Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body? Dumbbelldor.
- What's worse than an Upper Endoscopy? An otherend-oscopy.
- What do you call an attractive upper class person? Gorgeousie
- My name is Mr. Swiffer I'm the swiffer, quicker, pick her upper
- A hockey player walks into a bar He will be out 2 to 4 weeks with an upper body injury
- What do you get when your Grey Poupon dries out? An upper crust.
- a guy got bit by a shark in his upper arm some people thought it was humerus
- What would an upper-class Kratos say if The Stranger ran at him? This is Balder dash.
- Lindsey Vonn broke her upper arm, badly. Humerus.
One Upper Jokes
Here is a list of funny one upper jokes and even better one upper puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the upper class Rastafari say when he walked into the bakers shop? One love me breda.
Upper Class Jokes
Here is a list of funny upper class jokes and even better upper class puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A beggar walks up to a wealthy, upper-class lady and says, "I haven't eaten in three days." She responds, "You must force yourself! You must force yourself!"
- Why don't the upper classes like Helvetica? Because there are no serifs.
^*Badumtish.*
Upper Lip Jokes
Here is a list of funny upper lip jokes and even better upper lip puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- British people must really like Leia in the new Star Wars movie. Stiff upper lip!
Hilarious Fun Upper Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about upper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean north jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make upper pranks.
No problems
A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.
Please enter your new password
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIf
YouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know your s**... partner works in IT?
They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.
Why do people from The Upper Peninsula of Michigan always feel great?
Because they are Superior.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After a car c**..., a woman comes to the hospital to see her husband...
She asks the doctor :
"How is my husband ? Is he going to be fine ?"
The doctor said :
"Well, his lower body is untouched"
Being less concerned she says :
"Oh, thank God, but what about the upper?"
He answered :
" His upper body is still on the way to the hospital "
What is a uppercase 'i'?
Pointless.
Manager gets caught stealing from his pizza job.
Upper management says, they caught him stealing "dough".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Male Typographers are usually nervous around the fairer s**.... Anytime she asks for the D...
...they wonder, upper or lowercase.
Street Fighter: What did an angry Ryu say when Ken came up to him and asked if he could go to the upper floor of the dojo?
...Shoryuken!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is there no equality in domestic a**...?
Someone always has the upper hand.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad said there's a throbbing pain coming from the f**... hair above his upper lip.
It mustache.
A man goes to the dentist...
A dentist found something wrong with one of his patients. The upper plate that had been put in earlier was corroding. "What have you been eating?" the dentists asked the man.
"All I can think of is that about three months ago my wife made some asparagus and put Hollandaise sauce on it. I loved it so much, I put it on everything now."
"That's the problem," the dentist said, frowning. "Hollandaise sauce contains lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."
"Why chrome?"
"It's simple. Everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."
Rumor has it the upper management at my company wants to hire on a religious figure for some reason
But that's nun of my business.
My teachers' always said the upper grades will throw away papers without names on them.
Like I ever got that far.
A woman gets on a double decker bus.
She steps onto the bus and begins her ascent to the upper deck and a hefty gust of wind comes in and blows her dress up.
The bus driver, looking up the steps at her says but airy up there ma'am
To which she replies, what'd you expect, feathers?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.
The guy sitting next to him says, Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first super bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967.
I'm sorry to hear that, says the first man. Couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?
Nope, replies the second guy. Everyone's at the f**....
I wanted to be a hacker when I grew up.
But when I realised how much upper body strength a lumberjack actually needs, my dreams were crushed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Somebody told my g/f it was s**... to bite her lip posing for photographs....
I still haven't found the courage to tell her its the bottom lip you bite......
(you just tried to bite your upper lip)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between the holocaust and the excess fat under a woman's upper arms?
You can make a joke about the holocaust.
You know what I don't like about uppercase E?
It's shift-e.
A biologist walks up to his friend and says
Biologist : Hey wanna hear a joke?
Friend : sure, go ahead
Biologist : bone of the upper arm
Friend : wow, that's humerus
(I'm not even a dad and idk if this counts as a dad joke but anyways thought of this while studying biology so had to post it)
An Englishman, Frenchman and a Soviet go to an art exhibition.
They come to a marble bust of Adam and Eve. The Englishman says "Look at their calm repose, their stiff upper lip. They must have been English."
The Frenchman says "Look at their nakedness, their natural artistic beauty. They must have been French."
The Soviet goes "No no. They have no food, no water, no clothes and no shelter, and they're told they live in a Paradise. They're obviously Russian!"
Joke best told with very bad accents
First attempt at writing a joke!
I started a new job this week.
On my first day it was my co-worker Frank's birthday; we gathered around his desk to sing happy birthday and share a cake.
Just as we finished singing the office door slammed open.
In strides a creature: upper body of a man, lower body of a horse. He screams LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY and proceeds to grab Frank's cake and gallop out of the office with it.
I was dumbfounded but my new colleagues just rolled their eyes: "oh thats just Bill" they said "always the Centaur of attention."
An endangered penguin escapes from its habitat, and manages to get into a swordfish tank.
The aquarium staff begin to freak out as the swordfish begins to attack the penguin, but their fears are dispersed as the penguin manages to get the upper hand, and beat back its assaulter.
As the staff look on in stunned silence, one turns to the other. "I guess it's true, the penguin is mightier than the swordfish." he says.
Yeah, the setup is lame, but the punchline is pretty good.
Besides, I have faith you'll like it.
After all, a good pun is its own re-word.
