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Upgrade Jokes

60 upgrade jokes and hilarious upgrade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about upgrade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Upgrade Short Jokes

Short upgrade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The upgrade humour may include short update jokes also.

  1. A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
  2. My friend and I bumped into Arnold Schwarzenegger. As fans we asked a lot of questions and ended up asking if he's going to upgrade to Windows 11... He said, "I still love Vista, baby!"
  3. What did arnold schwarzenegger say when someone told him to upgrade to Windows 7? I still love vista, baby
  4. Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7.. His response was "I still love Vista, baby!"
  5. Before starting World War 3 The Russians should consider finishing World War 1 and upgrading their weapons
  6. I asked Arnold Schwarzenegger why he hasnt upgraded his computer to Windows 10.. He said "I still love Vista baby!"
  7. What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when asked about not upgrading to Windows 10 ? "I still love Vista, baby".
  8. How do you know if an Asian person has robbed your house? When you come home, your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and they're still trying to back out of the driveway.
  9. A man walks into a bar... *[This joke is not a part of your premier package. To see this joke you must upgrade to our Platinum Plus Elite Tier.]*
  10. For all of you people that have Only Fans… When do you plan to upgrade to air conditioners?

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Upgrade One Liners

Which upgrade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with upgrade? I can suggest the ones about increase and changer.

  1. People who have Only fans. What is stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?
  2. Yo mama's so fat... ...she has to upgrade her data plan every time she sends a selfie.
  3. I have ADHD How do I upgrade to AD4K?
  4. Today I decided to upgrade my Mac... ...so I threw a big slice of cheese on it.
  5. There is no I in team But there is an EA so you can pay $2.99 for the teamwork upgrade.
  6. What are your New Years resolutions? I'm upgrading to 2460×4820.
  7. I'm finally upgrading from 1080p to 4K this January It's my New Years resolution.
  8. What do you call Cupid's arrow when he upgrades to a crossbow? A lover's quarrel
  9. I played plague inc and choose to upgrade infect by food Now i can't infect africa
  10. How many I.T. workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none, just upgrade to windows
  11. Don't just upgrade Windows 8 Up-upgrade it.
  12. Yo momma's so fat She had to upgrade her stationary bike to a Pelo2ton.
  13. Why'd they upgrade the planetarium? Its already spacious enough
  14. Upgrade your weekend: Take Monday Off...
  15. I really need to upgrade my knowledge about a particular herb. It's about thyme.

System Upgrade Jokes

Here is a list of funny system upgrade jokes and even better system upgrade puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear that they upgraded the lighting system on the Goodyear blimp? Now they call it the LED zeppelin.
  • I needed to upgrade my car sound system So I put a gimp suit on my dog and put her in the trunk, now I have a new subwoofer.
Upgrade joke, I needed to upgrade my car sound system

Witty Upgrade Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about upgrade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean alter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make upgrade pranks.

s**... people need a CPU upgrade,

colorblind people need a GPU upgrade.
Just thought of this a few minutes ago, thought you guys might like it.

After coming out of hibernation the Philae Lander has some tough decisions.

Reserve that free Windows 10 upgrade or not...?

Arnold Schwarzenegger PC upgrade

Few years ago someone asked Arnold Schwarzenegger to upgrade his PC to windows 7. He said I still love vista, baby

Arnold Schwarzenegger and windows 10

Just after windows 10 was released, Arnold was asked if he was ever going to upgrade to windows 10.
His response? 'I still love Vista, baby.'

A dyslexic construction worker couldn't decide what to upgrade.

Between roofing equipment and flooring supplies, he chose the ladder.

iPhone 7 is revolutionary!

•no headphones jack
•no wireless charging
•no curved screen
•no 4K resolution (or even full HD) screen
•no VR headset support
•no 360 camera support
•no expansion storage slot
It is true revolution in scamming people to upgrade from old iPhones!

What do you call it when your computer gets infected with a keylogger, a rootkit and half a dozen backdoors?

A free upgrade

Do you want to know why I called your girlfriend a tractor?

Because she's an upgrade to that h**... you had earlier.

Three men walk in to a bar. One of them is wearing a hat

Oops!
Your current data plan doesnt cover this feature. Click here to upgrade.

My very conservative coworker told me about the first time he had s**......

[to view this body of this joke, please upgrade to the Tier II telecom package]
...and I'll never think of jesus the same way again.

For all the people talking completely overblowing the net neutrality issue, I just want to say

THIS IS A PREMIUM JOKE
--------------------------
IN ORDER TO VIEW THIS JOKE
CONTACT YOUR ISP TO
UPGRADE YOUR SERVICE
Starting at just: $60.00/month

What's the definition of irony? (This happened to me today)

Asked a transgender co-worker why he won't upgrade from Windows 7 to 10.
He said he didn't like change.

Did you hear the joke about Net Neutrality?

Sorry, your current internet package does not support punchlines. Please upgrade to the higher end package.

If I had a dollar for every post I've seen about NET neutrality...

...the rest of this comment is only viewable with premium membership. Upgrade for $79.99.

I would say that the Canadian immigration website will c**... again...

But it's blocked, unless you upgrade to the Tourism Package™ for just $4.99 a month!

When buying a race car bed...

Always upgrade the tail pipe to a Fleshlight so when you hookup your hose, you only die a little.

The service in the Cyber Cafe was infuriatingly slow. All the waiters were terrible at their job. Eventually, though, they did a complete restaff, and it improved dramatically.

Turns out all they needed was a server upgrade.

I'm really sad the iPhone SE is discontinued

I'd been hoping that they'd upgrade it to bezel-less and call it iPhone s**....

The cute Verizon wireless girl asked if I was married

I said I was on the upgrade anytime plan.

A computer technician came over to fix my wife's laptop.

"Looks like you need an upgrade," he said.
"Do you think so?" she questioned.
He added, "I do, but I'm sure he's a nice guy."

What should you do when you try to upgrade to a custom rom and it keeps failing?

Pull yourself up by your boot loops.

Someone should make a movie about an old robot who needs a software upgrade so it can learn about LOVE.

You could call it, 'The 40-Year-Old Version'.

I'm trying to convince my wife to upgrade our yard so I wanted to show her on my chromecast people having fun on terraces so I yelled "Hey google, show me a movie of a wife enjoying a big deck with her friends" but I think google misheard me.

I just made it up after a couple of glasses

My worklog: Changed a lightbulb

My manager's worklog: single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.

If I had $ for every time I heard about net neutrality

*The rest of this comment is only viewable with premium membership. Upgrade for only $299.99*

How would you write I changed a light bulb on your resume?

Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.

Little Johnny wants a computer upgrade

Little Johnny was complaining to his mom that he needs a new computer, because the graphics aren't as clear as his friend's.
His mom looked at the monitor and said, it'll take her 10 minutes to upgrade the computer.
Johnny laughed. Mom could barely change a light bulb, but she was going to upgrade his computer in 10 minutes!?
10 minutes later, Johnny couldn't believe it. The graphics were clearer than his friend's!
"How did you do it?", he asked?
She said, "I cleaned your monitor".

How many resumé writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one:
Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, and zero safety incidents, increasing workplace safety and productivity.

Upgrade joke, How many resumé writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

jokes about upgrade