Upgrade Jokes
60 upgrade jokes and hilarious upgrade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about upgrade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Upgrade Short Jokes
Short upgrade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The upgrade humour may include short update jokes also.
- A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
- Before starting World War 3 The Russians should consider finishing World War 1 and upgrading their weapons
- A man walks into a bar... *[This joke is not a part of your premier package. To see this joke you must upgrade to our Platinum Plus Elite Tier.]*
- Did you hear the joke about Net Neutrality? Sorry, your current internet package does not support punchlines. Please upgrade to the higher end package.
- What's the definition of irony? (This happened to me today) Asked a transgender co-worker why he won't upgrade from Windows 7 to 10.
He said he didn't like change. - If I had $ for every time I heard about net neutrality *The rest of this comment is only viewable with premium membership. Upgrade for only $299.99*
- I was checking in a hotel, and the guy at reception told me that my room was upgraded. I said, Sweet!
Reception guy: Exactly Sir. - An Asian person robbed my house. 1. My homework is done.
2. My computer is upgraded to its maximum potential.
3. There's a person trying to back out of the driveway. - What do you call it when your computer gets infected with a keylogger, a rootkit and half a dozen backdoors? A free upgrade
- Someone should make a movie about an old robot who needs a software upgrade so it can learn about LOVE. You could call it, 'The 40-Year-Old Version'.
Share These Upgrade Jokes With Friends
Upgrade One Liners
Which upgrade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with upgrade? I can suggest the ones about increase and changer.
- People who have Only fans. What is stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?
- I have ADHD How do I upgrade to AD4K?
- Today I decided to upgrade my Mac... ...so I threw a big slice of cheese on it.
- There is no I in team But there is an EA so you can pay $2.99 for the teamwork upgrade.
- What are your New Years resolutions? I'm upgrading to 2460×4820.
- I'm finally upgrading from 1080p to 4K this January It's my New Years resolution.
- What do you call Cupid's arrow when he upgrades to a crossbow? A lover's quarrel
- How many I.T. workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none, just upgrade to windows
- Don't just upgrade Windows 8 Up-upgrade it.
- Why'd they upgrade the planetarium? Its already spacious enough
- Upgrade your weekend: Take Monday Off...
- I really need to upgrade my knowledge about a particular herb. It's about thyme.
- Why Arnold Schwarzenegger won't upgrade to Windows 10.
- Geek humor: Thanks for the upgrade... You turned my floppy disk into a solid state.
- Are those against upgrading to OSX Yosemite... Anti-Yosemites?
System Upgrade Jokes
Here is a list of funny system upgrade jokes and even better system upgrade puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear that they upgraded the lighting system on the Goodyear blimp? Now they call it the LED zeppelin.
Witty Upgrade Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about upgrade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean alter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make upgrade pranks.
I upgraded Windows after complaining my computer was slow...
but it doesn't seem any better. The extra light in the room is nice though.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... people need a CPU upgrade,
colorblind people need a GPU upgrade.
Just thought of this a few minutes ago, thought you guys might like it.
After coming out of hibernation the Philae Lander has some tough decisions.
Reserve that free Windows 10 upgrade or not...?
A dyslexic construction worker couldn't decide what to upgrade.
Between roofing equipment and flooring supplies, he chose the ladder.
iPhone 7 is revolutionary!
•no headphones jack
•no wireless charging
•no curved screen
•no 4K resolution (or even full HD) screen
•no VR headset support
•no 360 camera support
•no expansion storage slot
It is true revolution in scamming people to upgrade from old iPhones!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you want to know why I called your girlfriend a tractor?
Because she's an upgrade to that h**... you had earlier.
A man was on a flight with his Wife
A man was on a flight with his Wife and the Airhostess asked him if he would like an Upgrade...
So he said Yes and told his Wife
Get up, let her sit...
Windows asked me to upgrade...
Windows asked me to upgrade to windows 7, but i "still love vista baby". Get it?
Three men walk in to a bar. One of them is wearing a hat
Oops!
Your current data plan doesnt cover this feature. Click here to upgrade.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My very conservative coworker told me about the first time he had s**......
[to view this body of this joke, please upgrade to the Tier II telecom package]
...and I'll never think of jesus the same way again.
For all the people talking completely overblowing the net neutrality issue, I just want to say
THIS IS A PREMIUM JOKE
--------------------------
IN ORDER TO VIEW THIS JOKE
CONTACT YOUR ISP TO
UPGRADE YOUR SERVICE
Starting at just: $60.00/month
If I had a dollar for every post I've seen about NET neutrality...
...the rest of this comment is only viewable with premium membership. Upgrade for $79.99.
What did the First Amendment say to the Second Amendment?
Please upgrade your ISP plan to view content.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I would say that the Canadian immigration website will c**... again...
But it's blocked, unless you upgrade to the Tourism Package™ for just $4.99 a month!
My girlfriend has really bad memory
It's her own fault, I did offer to help upgrade her PC
After living on paycheck to paycheck and almost no savings...
I turned my life around by saving enough money to upgrade my data plan and being able to post this
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When buying a race car bed...
Always upgrade the tail pipe to a Fleshlight so when you hookup your hose, you only die a little.
The service in the Cyber Cafe was infuriatingly slow. All the waiters were terrible at their job. Eventually, though, they did a complete restaff, and it improved dramatically.
Turns out all they needed was a server upgrade.
Arnold Schwarzennegger's IT support tried to upgrade his PC
but he refused replying... have to have vista, baby.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm really sad the iPhone SE is discontinued
I'd been hoping that they'd upgrade it to bezel-less and call it iPhone s**....
The cute Verizon wireless girl asked if I was married
I said I was on the upgrade anytime plan.
A computer technician came over to fix my wife's laptop.
"Looks like you need an upgrade," he said.
"Do you think so?" she questioned.
He added, "I do, but I'm sure he's a nice guy."
What should you do when you try to upgrade to a custom rom and it keeps failing?
Pull yourself up by your boot loops.
A man goes to the Apple store
To upgrade his iPhone, wondering why all the new products looked the same as the old but had a plus next to them.
He asked an employee who said, "yeah if we add a plus next to the products people think they're better than the really are."
Later that night as the man was getting frisky with his girlfriend, she rolled her eyes as he excitedly disrobed. "Do you think you're going to do anything with those 2 inches?"
"What do you mean? Behold! I'm excited to announce the new and improved 2 inch PLUS!"
I'm trying to convince my wife to upgrade our yard so I wanted to show her on my chromecast people having fun on terraces so I yelled "Hey google, show me a movie of a wife enjoying a big deck with her friends" but I think google misheard me.
I just made it up after a couple of glasses
How would you write I changed a light bulb on your resume?
Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.
Little Johnny wants a computer upgrade
Little Johnny was complaining to his mom that he needs a new computer, because the graphics aren't as clear as his friend's.
His mom looked at the monitor and said, it'll take her 10 minutes to upgrade the computer.
Johnny laughed. Mom could barely change a light bulb, but she was going to upgrade his computer in 10 minutes!?
10 minutes later, Johnny couldn't believe it. The graphics were clearer than his friend's!
"How did you do it?", he asked?
She said, "I cleaned your monitor".
How many resumé writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one:
Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, and zero safety incidents, increasing workplace safety and productivity.
