Upd Jokes
95 upd jokes and hilarious upd puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about upd that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Upd Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good upd joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My son came home as I was taking his door off it's hinges and asked Dad what are you doing?
We've updated our privacy policy
My brother just updated his status to "I love my girlfriend <3".
I always knew he liked them young, but that is f**... ridiculous.
After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
Vandals have attacked the National Origami museum in Tokyo...
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
UPDATE: United Airlines now offering a new addition to their inflight meals
chinese takeout
Microsoft is working on software for self-driving vehicles.
I can't wait until my car suddenly stops in the middle of the highway and reboots to install updates.
Knock, knock
*shouting thru door*
Just leave it outside, Thank you!
(2020 update)
A father tells his 10 year old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life".
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186 leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great grandchildren and a 7 foot crater where the crematory used to be.
UPDATE: This blew up. (Pun not intended)
My ex updated her status on Facebook to standing on the edge of a cliff.
So I poked her
When Chuck Norris updates Windows
...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
Today a Gender Studies student asked me how our society viewed l**...
Apparently, in HD wasn't the correct answer.
Time to update my display to 4K.
A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows
Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
What do you call an Apple update you don't see coming?
An iPatch... I'm sorry...
"Update the force, Luke"
Adobe Wan Kenobi
Husband: Grab some updog on your way home hon..
Wife: for the last time Greg, the kids an I are never coming back. Stop calling us, please...
Husband: not much, what's up with you?
Roses are red, sorry for the Hypocrisy
But hey, we've updated our privacy policy
Some people are like a software update
Some people are like a software update . When I see them I think Not now
HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE
Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.
The nuclear launch codes have been updated.
Now they're 281 letters long.
Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been fairly concerned.
He has taken going to jail pretty hard. He is refusing all food, spitting and screaming at everyone and is threatening violence at anyone who comes near him. He has smeared the walls with his s**... and is refusing to wear any clothes.
As a family we are united in our decision not to play Monopoly with him ever again.
A captain and his crew...
A crew mate runs to his captain "Captain! Captain! There is an enemy ship on the horizon! What do we do?" The captain replies "Grab me my red shirt." "Why?" The crew mate asks. "So that my crew doesn't see me bleeding from the battle." The captain replies. Another guy runs up "Captain! Captain! I have an update there are 7 more ships what should I do?" "Go get me my brown pants."
I like my women like i like my updates
Disabled
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