Unusual Jokes
96 unusual jokes and hilarious unusual puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unusual that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read on for a collection of comedic gems that are sure to leave you in stitches! Find out if you can get a chuckle out of these unusual jokes involving Christmas, Halloween, cheese, golf, crackers, cows, doctors and more! Explore the unique and remarkable tales that will tantalize your unfamiliar senses!
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Funniest Unusual Short Jokes
Short unusual jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unusual humour may include short peculiar jokes also.
- I asked a girl for her name. She said it was "Pitaka"
I said: "That's an unusual name, you don't hear that every day."
To which she replyed: "Actually, I do" - airport security asked me if I've seen anything unusual ...I just paid $18 for a coke & a ham sandwich...Let's start with that.
- A guy goes to the doctor. A guy goes to the doctor.
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual." - Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger... But she has an unusual amount of mining equipment.
- Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high mercury content.
- Cop: seen anything unusual? Me: a dolphin with a hat once
Cop: I mean around here
Me: nah they live in water - Wife and I were talking about unusual names. Saw a Dr. Teak. Said if he had a daughter, the greatest name would be Ann. Then I thought, no, that would be old-fashioned.
- My wife finds it strange that my toddler is a huge Tom Jones fan "Well, it's not unusual" i told her
- Man: "I've always had this absurd feeling that I'm a cartoon character" Psychologist: "That's a rather unusual state... How long have you felt this way?"
Man: "Ever since I was an outline..." - An older pastor gives an unusually long sermon. After the three hour service, he's asked why. I was running very late today and accidentally put my wife's dentures in and couldn't stop talking.
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Unusual One Liners
Which unusual one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unusual? I can suggest the ones about strange and bizarre.
- I can only think of one word with three U's in it. That's unusual. Really.
- I have a disorder where I see Tom Jones lyrics wherever I go But it's not unusual
- What type of computer is unusually large? A Dell
- What do you call a pig... ...with an unusually high IQ?
Einswine - She said I was "hard to read". I told her it was my unusual typeface.
- How rare was the disease that killed Tom Jones' wife? It's not unusual
- My Chinese gave me a confectionary made with an unusual flour. The cake was a rye
- 4/3/4/3 iambic meter isn't unusual It's actually common.
- Why did the goldfish visit the behavioural therapist? He was acting unusually fish-ous
- I had a dog called Minton, who had an unusual habit of eating shuttlecocks. Badminton.
- What do you call an unusual rabbit?
A rare hare. - Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual?
No, only medium rare. - There's nothing unusual about being afraid of clowns I too laugh when I'm nervous
- Why was violet unusually interested in green at the party? Because green blue indigo.
- It is not unusual To be loved by anyone.
Happy Unusual Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about unusual you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rare jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unusual pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What were you thinking?
Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
j**... Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
what is it?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just got this in an email: The ITALIAN f**......
The ITALIAN f**......
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual f**... procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:
"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a f**... like this. Whose f**... is it?"
"My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked
and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in
the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law.
She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her. She didn’t survive either."
A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied, "Get in line."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A riddle for the day
A riddle for the day
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good )
----------------------------------------------------------
The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!
A woman pregnant with triplets gets shot
A 9 month pregnant woman with triplets is waiting in line at the bank when robbers run in and start firing shots. The woman gets shot in the belly 3 times and is taken to the hospital. After the surgery the nurse tells the woman that she will be fine and that her babies are fine too, however, this is an unusual situation where the bullets are in each of her babies and after some years the bullets will come out.
Ten years later, one of her daughters comes crying to her. She asks, "whats wrong sweety?" "Mommy, I was peeing and a bullet came out," replied the daughter. The woman remembers what the nurse had told her years ago so she tells her daughter, "Its okay Christy. It happens."
A couple weeks later, her second daughter comes crying to her. She asks, "whats wrong sweety?" "Mommy, I was peeing and a bullet came out," she says. The woman again calms down her daugher, "Its okay Jenny. It happens."
A couple weeks later, her son comes crying to her. She asks, "what is it Johnny? Did you pee and a bullet came out?" Johnny says, "no. I was jacking off and I shot the dog!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Odd f**......
A guy is just coming out of the store when he sees an unusual f**... procession moving down the road. In front is a black hearse, which is followed at a respectable distance of about 30 feet by another, slow moving hearse. Behind the two walks a man with a dog. And some twenty feet behind him is a line of 100 more men, walking just as slowly.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches the man with the dog as they pass, falling into step beside him.
"This may not be the best time..." he begins "but I've never seen a f**... like this, so I need to ask what's going on. Who's in the first hearse?"
"My wife" says the man with the dog, mournfully. "She yelled at me, so Rover attacked and killed her." As if it feels guilty, the dog lowers its head and tail at the mention of his name.
"Oh.. oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss." Says the second guy. He walks alongside in respectful silence for a while before, once more, curiosity gets the better of him. "So whose in the second hearse?"
"My mother-in-law." comes the reply. "She tried to help my wife, so Rover killed her too."
"Oh my god, that's awful!" says the other guy, and walks alongside in respectful silence for a moment more. Eventually, he looks up and says "I don't suppose I could borrow your dog, could I?"
"Get in line." answers the guy.
Apparently Mindy McCready shot herself. It's unusual for a woman to use a gun but...
...Guys Do It All The Time.
James Thurber's crossword puzzle.
Laid up in the hospital, James Thurber passed the time doing crossword puzzles.
One day he asked a nurse, What seven-letter word has three u's in it?
She said, I don't know, but it must be unusual.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The f**... Dog
A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian f**... procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said:
"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian f**... like this. Whose f**... is it?"
"My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men...
The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"
The Italian man replied, "Get in line."
A man heard a talk show was looking for people with unusual talents
When he showed up to audition for the segment the talk show host asked him what talent he was going to perform. The man explained "I imitate birds." The talk show host laughed, waving him away saying "thousands of people can imitate birds. We want something nobody has ever seen before." The man shrugged, flapped his arms, and flew away.
Mr. Smith's Unusual Depression
Doctors were dumbfounded when they couldn't figure out why Mr. Smith was so depressed. They interviewed him about how his day had gone, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, they asked him what he ate and he said he had a watermelon smoothie with broccoli salad for lunch.
Then they realized, he was melonccoli.
A tourist in Chinatown sees a sign advertising "Hans Olafsen's Laundry"
He goes inside to check it out, and there's an old Asian man in the corner.
"How did this place get named 'Hans Olafsen's Laundry'?" he asks.
"It's named after me, Hans Olafsen." said the man.
"That's an unusual name for a Chinese man" observed the tourist.
"When I was in the immigration center, I followed a man named Hans Olafsen. When they asked my name, I told them 'Sam Ting'".
I lost 500 pounds and for some reason people want photos.
I mean it was nothing unusual really, just ten £50 notes!
I had an ex-girlfriend who was rather big, and she possessed an unusual talent;
she was ambidextrose - she could polish off a box of chocolates with either hand.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A riddle for today
A riddle for today
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it?
[The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!] (/spoiler)
TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.
FINNISH HYMN!!!
3 Horses
I asked the Indian man how it was that his wife was named 'Three Horses', such an unusual name?
He said, "Nag, Nag, Nag!"
"Five Horses Is Her Name"
A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She is called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for a wife. What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian name. It mean ..."
"NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man wishes to join an exclusive local church's congregation...
...and during his interview with the pastor, he's asked if he's ever engaged in any unusual s**... activity. He looks down, embarrassed, and sighs deeply.
"Well, yes, actually. Just last week, my girlfriend had dropped a head of lettuce. When she bent over, and I saw her shapely rear silhouetted by the light nearby, I ... I just couldn't help myself. I had to have her, so I made love to her right then and there."
The pastor replies, "I'm terribly sorry, sir. We can't allow that kind of behavior here. Premarital s**..., even in a loving relationship, is against our doctrine."
The man shrugs, seemingly expecting the rejection. He stands up and begins walking to the door. "Hey, padre? Don't feel bad," he says. "We're not allowed in Wal*Mart any more either."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man saw an unusual f**... procession
At the head of the procession was a man leading a labrador on a leash, following 2 slowly moving hearses. He cannot contain his curiosity and walks alongside the man at the head of the procession to offer his condolences.
"Sorry for your loss, who's in the hearse in front?"
"My wife"
"How did she die, if you dont mind my asking?"
"See this dog?" Says the bereaved man pointing to his labrador, It attacked and killed her."
"Dear me, who's in the second hearse?"
"My mother in law, she was trying to shield my wife from the dog and it attacked and killed her too."
They walk on for a little while longer in silence, when he asks
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
You're approached by a stranger while walking your dog in the park.
The stranger says "That's an unusual looking dog."
You reply with "It's interbred."
Suddenly, a duck waddles up and says "Guess who else is into bread?"
My uncle was an unusual man. Prosthetic legs, real feet.
This is Steve Wright's joke, not mine
After much discussion, it was decided that Korea would divide its capital city into two, half for North and half for South, the job of splitting the city went to some unusual ministers: Cenobites. In their first public address about their new task, they gave their mission statement:
"We'll tear your Seoul apart"
Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?
I asked my friend.
He wants to be a garbageman,
he replied.
That's an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.
Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.
OCD
My little cousin has been diagnosed with an unusual case of OCD where all he does all day is organise dinner plates by the year they were made,
It's an extremely rare dish-order........
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Heard the one about the Hispanic female rapper who beatboxes in a, um, unusual way?
They call her q**... Latina.
Dumbo is an unusual nickname for an Elephant
But I guess naming my son Elephant wasn't very conventional either
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Bet
Two casino dealers are at the craps table when a cute blonde comes over and says: "I want to bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. But, if you don't mind, I'd I feel much luckier if I were completely n**...."
They agree to her unusual request and she strips n**... from the neck down, and rolls the dice. Then she screams: "I won! I won!" She starts jumping up and down, hugs each of the dealers, and then picks up her money and her clothes and walks away.
For a minute the two dealers stare at each other. Then the first one says: "What did she roll, anyway?"
The second dealer says: "I don't know. I thought *you* were watching."
What do you call a girl that can table dance infinitely due to unusual geometry infinitely due to unusual the geometry
A Mobius stripper
Tom Jones visits the doctor…
Doctor: Mr Jones, you have the common cold!
Tom Jones: what do you mean by common?
Doctor: It's not unusual!
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.
Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
A guy stole my wallet a few years ago. I noticed some unusual charges on my credit card statement.
I didn't report it because he was spending less than my wife.
The photo ghost
There has been reports of a ghost that takes photos of a wide-angle view of the amazing scenery. So-called ghostbusters have reported this strange and unusual...
panorama activity
A woman gets called into her office HR department
They tell her that they noticed her password for her login was very unusual and asked her how she chose "DocGrumpyHappySleepyBashfulSneezyDopeySacarmento"
She said - "well the instructions were to have a password with seven characters and have at least one capitol, so I thought I was just following the rules"
I've just been watching an unusual martial arts film set in a semaphorists' hospice
It's called The House Of The Dying Flaggers.
A rather old one.
Two NFL coaches were looking a rosters when one of them came across an unusual name.
"Quasimodo? Why does that name ring a bell?"
His friend said, "He was at Notre Dame... a halfback."
This one takes some thinking.
A guy takes his date to a dinner at the local country club. It's an unusual setup: People have to wait in separate lines for each type of food.
As his date sits down, the guy volunteers to go get their dinner. First he waits in the line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for potatoes. Then he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, and the gravy line. Finally he brings back two full plates of food.
What would you like to drink? he asks.
A glass of punch would be nice, she says. So he goes to get it. He scouts around and finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, and even a line for milk. But after a while he gives up and goes back to his table.
I got talking to this girl the other day. I asked her her name.
She said, "My name's Batarka."
I said, "That's an unusual name, you don't hear that every day."
To which she replied, "Actually, I do."
A new boy has just enrolled at school and the teacher remarked on his unusual name, Aday.
I've never heard that name before, she said
My father thought of it, said the boy.
I was the 10th kid in our family, and when I was born, Dad said: 'For cryin' our loud, let's call it a day!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
R. Kelly has made a song denying any s**... misconduct charges that lasts 19 minutes.
Which is unusual because he usually insists on 18 or under.
If I had a dollar every time someone in this sub stole someone's joke and reposted it as their own....
I would be making money in a very unusual way.
Dadjokes may not be used as a sentence for a crime
They are cruel and unusual pun-ishment.
"I hate when I can't remember the names of Tom Jones songs!"
"Does it happen to you a lot?"
"It's not unusual."
This is most unusual madam, you seem to have no teeth at all.
Pardon? You're here for a smear test? That's next door.
My cousin told me that she was pregnant, and i was the father.
I responded unusual boast, but acceptable
I tried to sue the Devil for cruel and unusual punishment
but I lost because, naturally, he had access to the best lawyers in the world.
My wife has this unusual case of OCD where she arranges dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is a very rare dish order.
I try to be unusually kind and compassionate to those around me during the Holidays,
because I never know who will end up being my Secret Santa.
When you grow up poor like I did, it's not unusual to be in your twenties without a vehicle or licence...
You just sort of learn to run with it.
They say stealth planes make your radar signature smaller, so you show up to the radar just like a small bird
"Sir, we think we've spotted a pigeon on the radar screen."
"Well what's unusual about that?"
"Well the pigeon is flying at about mach 2."
Bruce Wayne became a surgeon.
Whenever he carried out a surgery, he always asked the nurses to turn the lights off. This was extremely dangerous and unusual, so the nurses asked him why.
He said, "I operate in the shadows"
A Summer Party
One summer day a family was having a party, nothing unusual.
Until a line started to develop, the neighbors saw and decided to walk over. They asked, "What is this line for?"
The host responded, "This is the punch line."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman goes to the doctor and says, Could you please prescribe me something against my headaches?
OK, says the doctor, take this and come back in two weeks.
After two weeks, the lady is back and complains, I'm sorry doctor. I've been using this for the past two weeks, I followed the instructions on the package, but nothing happened.
The doctor is concerned, That's unusual Mrs Grimky, what were the instructions exactly?
Well, keep the lid tightly s**... on at all times.
Jesus is watching
A robber breaks into a mansion and hears someone say Jesus is watching
He turns around and and sees a bird in a cage.
The robber asks did you say that?
The bird replies yes
The robber says for a bird you speak pretty good English
The bird tells him I've spoken quite a lot
The robber asks for the birds name in which the bird replies my name is Alfred
The robber says that's an unusual name for a bird
The bird says you should hear the dogs name
The robber, quite spooked says dog? W-what's the dogs name?
The bird replies the Pitbulls name is Jesus
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman was working at a l**... counter when a customer approached with a pair of frilly p**....
"I'd like to buy these," she said, "but only if you can embroider 'If you can read this, you're too close' on the back."
So the saleswoman took the p**... to the tailor in the backroom and described the rather unusual request.
The tailor said, "I can do that. Does she want block letters or script?"
Since the saleswoman didn't know, she went back around to the counter, and asked, "Do you want that in block letters or script?" And the customer replied with a smile, "Braille."
A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave.....
discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So this woman had some heart troubles….
She went to see her doctor who prescribed testosterone.
About a month later she returns for a checkup. Doctor asks her how she's been. She says: "Fine, but I have some unexpected hairgrowth in unusual places."
Doc says: "really? Like where?"
She says: "at my b**..."…
Three kids ask their mom about their unusual names.
The first kid asks, Why am I named Kitchen Table? His mom says, Well sweetie, when you were born the car was out of gas and we couldn't get to the hospital, so you were born on the kitchen table.
The second kid asks, Why am I named Backseat? Her mom says, Well honey, when *you* were born, we got stuck in traffic on the way to the hospital, and you were born in the backseat of the car.
The third kid says, That's neat. But mom, why am I the only one with a normal name?
His mom just says, I wouldn't worry about it too much, John.
A guy was buying mangoes at a junction from a street vendor and while waiting for his change he saw an old woman and a little girl.
The little girl was walking a bit faster than the old woman which made the old woman shouting; " Degree wait for me". The guy was astonished after hearing such an unusual name. So to satisfy his curiosity he walked closer to the old woman and asked; "Mam, why do you call your granddaughter Degree?"
The old woman laughed and said; " I sent her mother to university for education and this is what she brought home."
The teacher asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in a well last week." "Good grief!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?" "He must be," said Little Johnny.
"He stopped calling for help yesterday
Prince William is visiting Kelmscott, Western Australia
The local media can't help but notice the prince's unusual head wear. It's a Davy Crocket style hat made entirely from fox fur, complete with a tail. A reporter speaks up. "Welcome to Kelmscott Your Royal Highness. If you don't mind me asking, why have you chosen to wear that particular hat today"? The Prince responded "Well, I told Daddy over the telephone this morning that I was visiting a small town called Kelmscott and he immediately replied, Kelmscott? Wear the fox hat"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy goes to his doctor and says
"Doctor, I can't stop singing "What's up p**...?", can you help?"
Doctor says "Oh, that's simple. You've got Croonervirus"
"Oh, I hear there's a lot of that around at the moment"
"Yes, It's Not Unusual"
A snail brings his car into a garage
He requests a new paint job. The body guy asks what he wants, and the snail says, "Give me a handsome burgundy paint job with a special detail on it. Paint the letter S all over it in yellow gold."
The body tech thinks this is an unusual request, but hey, it's money. The snail returns later that week to pick up his car.
The technician says, "May I ask why you wanted S's all over your car?"
The snail says, "When I'm driving around town, everyone will say, 'Look at that S car go!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Amazed
One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it a**..., with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband."A penny for your thoughts," she said."It's amazing! " he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $146.50. "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Celebrity m**...
Dwayne Johnson was murdered in a hotel room he was staying at. Police were called as soon as the body was discovered, and they did some investigating.
An officer knocked on the door of someone living one floor down. He asked the man who answered if he heard anything unusual above him, but he didn't know what the officer was talking about.
He was living under The Rock all this time and had no idea what was going on.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ah, blondes.
Two blondes are driving through farm country. As they are chatting and enjoying the scenery, they notice something unusual and pull over to investigate.
There they see, in the middle of a wheat field, a blonde sitting in a boat rowing furiously but obviously not going anywhere.
After watching for a few minutes, the first blonde says this really p**...me off. Dumb blondes like that one give the rest of us a bad name!
The second blonde says I agree. And if I could swim, I'd go out there and kick her a**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly woman is moving into a retirement home
As part of the admissions process she has a check-up by the resident doctor. The doctor asks, "So have you been having any problems?"
Woman: "Well, I have noticed something unusual. I have this hole in my chest between my b**...."
Doctor: "Hmm, let me have a quick look."
The woman lifts up her blouse.
The doctor bends over to take a closer look, and she says, "Oh you really have nothing to worry about. It's just your belly button."
