Untie Jokes
30 untie jokes and hilarious untie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about untie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Untie Short Jokes
Short untie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The untie humour may include short aunt jokes also.
- My Mum used to feed my brother and I by saying 'Here comes the train', and we always ate the food straight away. Otherwise she wouldn't untie us from the tracks.
- My new girlfriend is so needy... She keeps making demands like, "Untie me! Tell me who you are!"
- My girlfriend is slightly off the rails. I'm just hoping she doesn't untie herself in time.
- When i was young my mom used to put food on the spoon.. and sing "train is coming, train is coming"... I'd always eat cause i knew if i didn't, she wouldn't untie me from the railway line.
- What six letter word has an opposite meaning when it is reversed? The answer is united. When IT is reversed, it becomes untied.
- Dyslexic procrastinators, it's time to get together and rise up Get on your work boots and untie
- My ex wife didn't show up to the custody trial, so now I get full custody of my kids! Now I just need to swing by her house and untie her.
- what do you do when you see a baby spinning in circles? stop laughing and untie it from the ceiling fan!!
- Why blond girls don't like to eat pretzels ? Because they get mad trying to untie the knots before eating them.
- Why does the US Government own and regulate the postal service? Because while right now we're united, if you switch the right two letters we become untied.
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Untie One Liners
Which untie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with untie? I can suggest the ones about uncle and aunt uncle.
- Dyslexics of the world...
... Untie! - You know what's trippy? Untied shoelaces
- Your shoe is untied. April fools!
- Are you able to untie a Thai? If no, then that means you can't Bangkok
- Why does the pessimist not tie his shoes? They'll probably untie later
- How do you know your shoe is untied? You look down and it's knot.
- I'm so inept..... That when I kicked out the chair, the rope came untied
- Wrong spellers.. Untie!!
- If britains shoelaces come loose, them what is it called? The untied kingdom.
- There was this guy in my school who always had his laces untied It was a real isshoe
- Bad spellers of the world... UNTIE!
- What do you do if a 4 year old girl catches you m**...? Untie her
Uproarious Untie Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about untie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean niece jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make untie pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two thieves break into a house. Once inside, they sneak into the master bedroom and tie up the n**... woman they find in there.
A startled, n**..., man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening and says, "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go."
The thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were. One of them says, "Wow, you must really love your wife in order to beg like that."
The man replies, "I do, and she will be home any minute!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A robber breaks into a house where two people are just finishing having s**....
The robber ties the man and woman up. He starts looking around the room for valubles. When he doesn't find any, the robber asks the man
"Where's the good stuff!"
The man replies, "I'll tell you, just untie her and let her go."
Robber: "you love your wife that much huh?"
The man: "No, that's my neighbors wife, mine's on her way home!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Woman Saved by Ugly man
Ugly guy walks into a bar with a huge smile on his face.
***Bar keep*** asks him 'what are you so happy about?'
***Ugly guy*** says 'Well I was walking home and I found this woman tied to the train tracks, I untie her and we go back to my place. We do it every way imaginable, all night long!'
***Bar keep*** says 'Wow that's some story! What did she look like?'
***Ugly guy*** says 'I dunno, never found the head'
A cowboy rides his horse into town
He stops at a bar and ties his horse outside. When he is in for a drink the townspeople untie and hide his horse just to see his reaction. When the cowboy comes out, he looks around then shouts "I'm going in for another drink and if my horse isn't here by the time I get out I'm gonna have to do what I did last time!". The townspeople, scared, return his horse. The cowboy comes out, saddles up the horse, but before he leaves the bartender asked him what did you have to do last time. The cowboy stares at him and says " I had to walk home"
