Unsure Jokes
63 unsure jokes and hilarious unsure puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unsure that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Unsure Short Jokes
Short unsure jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unsure humour may include short uncertain jokes also.
- 3 men were on a boat.. And all they had were 4 cigarettes.
Unsure on what to do, one of them throws a cigarette overboard.
Now the boat was a cigarette lighter. - A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Still unsure as to whether or not that full stop adds to humorous effect.
- I read that if you're unsure about how much to spend on an engagement ring, a monthly pay check is a good guideline. So I spent £200 and gave most of the ring to our landlord.
- I once tried to kill myself by hanging from the ceiling with a noose around my neck. I was unsure if it would work. The suspense was killing me.
- Huckleberry Finn seemed really unsure if he was going to paint my house today. I guess he was still on the fence.
- I was unsure which mattress I should buy and the salesman told me to sleep on it. Apparently there was a misunderstanding.
- There is a 50/50 risk of loosing your hand during your life... Either you loose it or you don't. The probability on the other hand... is unsure.
- A fox snuck into the chicken coup last night and killed them all... Authorities were unsure whether to label it a coup d'etat or a henocide...
- Thomas the Tank Engine is unsure of his sexuality. He now prefers to be called Trains-gender.
- What's a matadors choice skin moisturizer? "Olay"
(I made it up- unsure if I'm the first but I doubt it)
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Unsure One Liners
Which unsure one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unsure? I can suggest the ones about undecided and unaware.
- Two antennas got married. The reception was great.
Source: Unsure, saw it on FB. - What do you call a shuriken that never hits the right target? An unsure-iken
- I'm unsure whether I like my beard. But it's growing on me.
- What's the most unsure vegetable? Aspariguess
~~I'm sorry, I'll see myself out~~ - You know, being unsure if I'm a plant is actually pretty cool. Am I rye?
- As a man, I was unsure if I'd enjoy having long hair.. But it grew on me
- I lost my mood ring. I'm unsure how I feel about it.
- Why are obtuse angles so unsure? Because they cannot be right
- What do you call an unsure sea lion? A maybe seal
- What do you call an unsure Muslim leader? An Erm-um
- What do homophobes say when they are unsure? Let me get this straight
- My girlfriend said I'm unsure of everything. I think.
- If you're unsure of how to light up your fireworks... Fire works
- What's the best part about Switzerland? I'm unsure, but the flag is a big plus.
- Tomatoes Are Like Transgender People... You are unsure about what they truly identify as.
Hilarious Unsure Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about unsure you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean insecure jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unsure pranks.
A guy is flying to Hawaii...
He's unsure of the pronunciation, not sure if its "Hawaii" or "Havaii", so when he gets off of the plane, he looks for a local.
He finds a guy that appears to be a local and asks him, "is it pronounced 'Hawaii' or 'Havaii'?"
The local responds "Havaii!"
The traveler then says thank you, that he was really confused and the local really cleared things up and the local replies "you're velcome!"
Narcolepsy
A man with narcolepsy visits his doctor and asks for help.
"Well I have a drug that can help keep you awake, or I've just heard of a new treatment which can fully cure you! However, it's still in the testing phase and could possibly kill you. You need to decide which treatment you'll have."
After a short time considering, the man is still unsure.
"Is it okay if i come back tomorrow? I'll have to sleep on it doc."
The old lady who can guess your age
An elderly woman who lives in a nursing home approaches an elderly man and tells him, "I bet I can guess your age." He tells her to go for it.
She says, "okay, but I need to stick my hand down your pants and feel it." Unsure about her method, he's intrigued and allows her to do so.
She reaches into his pants and fondles him for a few moments. She then tells him, "you're 87!"
Amazed, he says, "That's incredible! How did you do know?"
She replies, "you told me yesterday."
Which element is unsure of it's gender?
Sili-kin
Why did the f**... feel unsure about her new boyfriend
She didn't have him pegged
Misc religion based puns
What do you call a horse who doesn't believe in God?
Hay-thiest
What do you call a pig who believes in the old gods?
A pag-ham.
What do you call a practitioner of Hinduism who solely worships in the morning?
A Hin-dew.
What do you call a caveman unsure it he believes in tools or not?
Ag-no-stick.
What would you call a grasshopper that was unsure of himself?
Insect-ure.
You're welcome.
LPT: if you're unsure if you should wear a jacket...
... Be sure to bring one. You will then ensure blazing sunshine.
Ten horses walk out of a bar. They see another horse getting mugged by a big scary dude in an alleyway. The horses are unsure if they should intervene. One brave horse says, "Let's put it to a vote! If you want to help him, say aye!"
They don't help him.
What's the only option available to a programmer unsure it if program will work whilst it is compiling?
Latency
An amputee walks up to a stranger...
An amputee missing his left arm and left leg walks up to a stranger and shouts, I lost my left arm and left leg!!! .
The stranger looks at him, unsure what to make of this interaction, and says, All-righty then.
If you're ever unsure, ask a visually impaired person with Tourette Syndrome for advice.
They will swear blind by it.
I just learned how to read Braille
I was always unsure, is it Bray-eel-ay ? Maybe it's Brah-el ?
I just found out earlier it's Brale
The more you know...
The British agency seem unsure of their own age...
You'd guess they are old enough to stop asking MI5 or MI6...
A husband is admitted to the hospital...
He has fallen very ill and his future is unsure. He says to his wife, "honey, if I die, I think you should marry Hank from down the street."
"Hank?" the wife questions, "I thought you hated him?"
With his last breath the husband replies "I do"
What do you call a conservative who smokes w**...?
A libertarian.
Is this funny??? Please be honest, i'm unsure. 😐
I looked at the self-checkouts, then at the cashier.
"Can I come to you?" I asked him, unsure.
He said, "Sure, but it will cost you."
Why did the p**... call a meeting of his girls when he felt unsure about himself?
He had to gather his thots.
I got a bidet as a present but I'm still a little unsure about it...
getting clean is such a crapshoot.
A guy gets to Heaven and meets God for the first time...
God says, welcome my child. For living an exemplary life and following in my footsteps, I welcome you to Heaven and will answer one question for you. The answer to any of your life's mysteries that you desire.
The man ponders. He hurriedly thinks back on his life, wondering which answer he wants the most and not wanting to waste God's time, but he can't decide. He stares back at Him, unsure of what to say.
God says, don't worry my child, I am all knowing, so I already know what question you will ask.
The man, visibly relieved, exclaimed oh thank you! What is it?
That one. Enjoy eternity!
A man was in a bathroom getting ready to take a shower, and his wife heard a loud noise from outside.
A man was in a bathroom getting ready to take a shower, and his wife heard a loud noise from outside. Concerned something had happened she asked, "What was that noise?"
The man replied, " It was just my underwear falling".
Unsure the wife asked again, "That noise was a bit loud for it to be just an underwear falling to the ground.
The man replied, " Yeah, because I was still in it"
My grandpa isn't very computer savvy
So my Grandpa (72) got on the internet only recently and is still very unsure about how to use it. A month or so ago I taught him how to use email, to his amazement.
I also showed him how web browsing works and showed him how to put questions into Google search.
Yesterday he was planning to repaint the shed and wanted to know if latex paint would stick to stucco, so he did a search for Latex b**....
A married couple walks into a bar and the husband asks for whatever is on tap and cheap...
...the bartender reaches for the cheap stuff and pours them Busch. They drink a little bit and seem satisfied as the wife asks her husband,
"What beer is this? Who makes it?"
The husband, unsure due to his vague order asks the bartender "Hey, who makes this beer? My wife is curious."
The bartender replies, "Anheuser-Busch."
The husband looks at the bartender with a stern confusion and shouts,
"She waxes, but that's not any of your business! But seriously, who makes this beer?"
A married couple were walking through a garden
when suddenly a dog ran towards them.
They both knew it will bite them..
The husband lifted his wife to let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart.
The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little and ran away.
The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her.
But his wife shouted, I've seen people throwing stones & sticks at dogs, this is the first time I see someone trying to throw his wife at a dog
Moral : No one else can misunderstand a Husband better than a Wife
(OC) A Killer Dies, And Meets His Victim In The Afterlife...
The killer stares awkwardly at the victim, the victim stares back. Unsure what to do, the killer finally says, "Well... This feels pretty tense."
The victim replies, "Oh, we're past tense."
