Uno Jokes
116 uno jokes and hilarious uno puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about uno that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read funny Uno jokes about the classic card game and its iconic reverse card! Laugh at quips about the game and its impact on Illiterates, Hallmark cards, and Fiat Uno owners. Get Uno-Lavoz Mom-approved laughs!
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Funniest Uno Short Jokes
Short uno jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The uno humour may include short hallmark jokes also.
- There was a Mexican magician who was about to disappear on the count of three. He said "uno... dos-" and vanished. He disappeared without a tres
- With great flourish, the Mexican magician exclaimed, "On the count of three, I shall make myself disappear!" "Uno!!!"
"Dos!!!"
...and then he vanished, without a tres. - I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.." And then he disappeared without a tres
- A Mexican magician tells his audience... "I will disappear on the count of three."
He counts down.. "Uno... dos..."
And then he disappears, without a tres. - A Spanish magician was showing a trick.. "For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."
And he vanished without a tres! - Don't complain about Microsoft skipping Windows 9. They've never been able to count. They came out with Microsoft DOS without ever releasing Microsoft UNO.
- Did you hear about the mexican magician? He said, "I'm going to disappear." "Uno, dos,..." He was gone without a tres :-)
- A Mexican magician came up to me and said "I can disappear in 3 seconds" "uno"
"dos"
...
he disappeared without a tres. - A spanish magician ... A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.
- There was a mexican magician... ...Who said "On the count of three, I will vanish!"
And so he counted, "Uno... Dos..."
And then he vanished, without a tres.
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Uno One Liners
Which uno one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with uno? I can suggest the ones about dos and uni.
- Why does nobody play Uno with Mexicans? They always steal the green cards.
- How do '90s kids count to 6? Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.
- I've getting feedback that my jokes are in broken English, so here's one in Spanish. Uno.
- "Uno, dos..." And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres.
- I'm never playing uno with Mexicans again. They take all the green cards.
- A Mexican magician once counted... Uno, dos and vanished without a tres.
- Just played Uno with my Mexican co-workers... ...they stole all the green cards.
- Why are Mexicans bad at UNO? They steal all the green cards.
- Did you hear about the Spanish Magician? He said Uno. Dos. and vanished without a tres.
- Why can't fashion designers play uno? Because they always draw a cardigan.
- Why are artist bad at Uno? Because they Draw a lot
- Why can't immigrants play uno? Because they keep trying to take all of the green cards!
- Saw a list of the top ten card games Uno is number one
- What do you call a Mexican who loves Uno? Juan.
- Why can't Latinos play Uno? They take all the greencards.
Uno Reverse Card Jokes
Here is a list of funny uno reverse card jokes and even better uno reverse card puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife told Me She wants a divorce because I take our marriage as a game..... So I gave Her an UNO reverse card and now I am the one who wants a divorce.
- Ive been playing uno with my kids for 50 years now. I finally dropped my reverse card and now they have to change my diapers.
- When a cop tries to arrest you U pull out a uno reverse card
Then you arrest the police
Happy Uno Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about uno you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean card jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make uno pranks.
A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *p**...*
He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3...
He says "uno... dos..." *p**...*! and disappears without a tres.
The Mexican Magician
A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *p**...* The magician vanished without a tres.
A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick
The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!
A Mexican performs a magic trick.
He tells the audience he'll disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *p**...* … he disappeared without a tres!
A short joke for my cakeday
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." p**.... He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3
He says "uno, dos..." *p**...*. He disappeared without a tres.
A Spanish magician is at a party
He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," p**....
He disappeared without a tres.
A Spanish magician told the crowd he'll make himself vanish on the count of 3. He goes "Uno, dos...
And *p**...*..... He disappeared without a tres.
Why do Mexicans s**... at playing Uno?
They always keep all the green cards
Spanish Magician
A Spanish magician announced to his audience that "he would disappear on the count of three" then said "uno, dos" and then disappeared without a tres.
Mexican Magician
Uno... Dos... p**...
He disappeared...
Without a tres.
A Spanish magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3
He says uno, dos... then p**..., he disappears without a tres
A Mexican magician said he was going to do a magic trick.
"Uno, dos..." *p**...* he disappeared without a tres.
There was once a great Mexican Magician...
There was once a great Mexican Magician. He was world-renowned for his incredible feats. His most famous act, though, was his vanishing act. He would count;
uno
dos
and suddenly he would disappear without a tres.
Happy Cinco De Mayo. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three
He says "uno, dos..." then disappears without a tres.
A Mexican magician tells a crowd he's going to disappear on the count of three...
He begins the countdown. "Uno, dos..." then, p**...! He disappeared without a tres.
Did you hear the one about the Mexican magician?
He told his audience that he'd disappear on the count of 3. He counted "Uno! Dos!"... And disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican Magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3...
He says, Uno, Dos........ *p**...*....... he disappeared without a tres.
I went to see a Spanish magician
I went to see a Spanish magician and he told the crowd that he could make himself disappear on the count of three.
He started counting.
"Uno! Dos!"
And then he was gone. Without a tres.
There was a famous Mexican magician.
His name was Gustavo. His signature trick is he would say "Uno, dos," and *p**...*! He would disappear without a tres.
A magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says "uno... Dos..." And then vanishes.
He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican guy showed me his magic trick.
He said "Uno!"
He said "Dos!"
And then p**... he disappeared without a tres!
A few years ago, I saw a Hispanic magician
My favorite trick was at end, when he said he would dissappear at the count of three.
And he started counting "Uno...."
"Dos.... "
And p**..., he was gone. Without a Tres.
Did you hear about the Spanish speaking magician?
He counted from uno to dos and disappeared without a tres.
"Un, deux, t**..., quatre", radioed the French ship...
...before it cinq.
"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.
"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.
"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.
"Oh," radioed the American sub. "I guess we won"
Hispanic Magician
So a Mexican magician stands up in front of his audience and tells them, "Ok hombres, on the count of three, I'm gonna make myself disappear! Uno, dos..." p**...! He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician says he'll disappear on the count of 3.
"Uno, dos..." p**...!
He disappeared without a tres.
A mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three he said uno dos p**...
He disappeared without a tres
A Mexican magician said he could disappear in three seconds. So he counted, uno, dos, and then he was gone
He disappeared without a tres
A Mexican magician was finishing up his act...
It was time for his big finale.
"And now, for my final trick, I will make myself disappear on the count of three!"
"Uno! Dos!"
p**...!
He was gone without a tres.
I used to know a Spanish magician...
He told me that he could disappear on the count of three.
Then he said *uno, dos.....*
and disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician was performing a magic trick.
He counted Uno, Dos, and vanished without a Tres.
A Spanish magician says he can make himself disappear on the count of 3
Uno, dos... Suddenly the magician disappears without a tres.
A Spanish magician announced that for his final trick, he would vanish into thin air. He counted down: uno, dos, then p**...!
He was gone, without a tres.
So, there's a Mexican Magician
A Mexican Magician stands up on stage in front of a kids birthday party. He looks at the kids with a smile and says, "Okay kids, on the count of three, I'm gonna disappear." He holds up his fingers and starts counting "Uno, Dos..." and then he disappeared without a tres.
The greatest magic trick
A world famous Hispanic magician walked on stage to thunderous applause from a large crowd. He announced to the audience that he would disappear before their very eyes before the count of three. He begins the count Uno, Dos.. p**...! He disappeared without a Tres.
An English cat, a Spanish cat, and a French cat are in a swimming race
The English cat's name is One two three. The Spanish cat's name is Uno dos tres. The French cat's name is Un deux t**....
The English cat came in first, the Spanish cat came in second, but the French cat was nowhere to be found.
The Un deux t**... quatre cinq
I once saw an incredible disappearing Mexican magician...he would come on stage and say, "Uno, Dos..." And p**...!
He was gone without a Tres
I once saw a Spanish magician...
He told the audience that he was going to make his hat disappear on the count of three. So he tapped it with his wand and said, "Uno, dos," and it disappeared without a très.
"And for my final act," said the Spanish Magician, "I will DISAPPEAR! Uno, dos..."
And he vanished without a tres.
A Mexican magician says he's going to make himself disappear on the count of three..
He says, uno.. Dos.. And then he vanished without a tres!
Did you hear about the Spanish speaking magician?
He said for my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos - but then he vanished without a tres.
An englishman, frenchmen, and spaniard were racing their cats on a paper boat in the water
They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux t**...". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. After searching, the Frenchman comes to a conclusion. He goes to the other men, and says, "The Un deux t**... cat sank"
A Mexican magician stands before his audience.
And for my last trick. I will disappear on the count of 3... Uno. Dos. *p**...* and the magician vanished, without a tres.
Do you hear about the Hispanic magician who made himself vanish?
He counted uno, dos... and disappeared without a tres.
A Spanish magician said "I am going to disappear on a count to three..."
"Uno.... Dos...." and he disappears, without a tres
A Mexican magician says that he can disappear on the count of three.
"Uno, dos...", he says before he was suddenly gone.
He disappeared without a tres.
My dad was a Mexican magician who said he was gonna go to the store for some milk.
He said uno, dos, then vanished without a tres.
The Mexican magician
There was a Mexican magician who could make anything disappear. One skeptical man wanted to see him do a trick so the Mahican said I will make you disappear on the count of 3.... Uno.. Dos... Then POOFF gone without a tres.
I once went to see a show with a Mexican Magician...
... and for his finale he announced he would make himself disappear on the count of the 3.
He yelled " Uno. Dos...." and then disappeared without a tres....
Did you hear about the new Mexican magician?
At the end of his show he says he shall disappear on the count of 3.
"Uno, Dos...(p**...) a flash of cloud and he's gone.
He disappeared without a "tres"
Why are mexicans so predictable in Uno?
Because they always wish for the green card
I was watching a magician in Spain and he counted, "Uno, Dos"
And he vanished without a trace
What's a North Korean's Favourite Card Game?
Kim Jong Uno
There was a Spanish magician...
And he was performing for a crowd. He told the crowd that he would dissapear into thin air. So he counted:
UNO!
DOS!
And he dissapeared without a tres.
