Unlucky Jokes
50 unlucky jokes and hilarious unlucky puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unlucky that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Unlucky Short Jokes
Short unlucky jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unlucky humour may include short bad luck jokes also.
- Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I throw half of them in the trash I sure don't want unlucky people on my team.
- When I am tasked with sorting through a stack of résumés, I throw about half of them in the garbage. I do not want unlucky people working in our company
- A hiring manager had a stack of resumes, took half, and threw them in the trash... Coworker asks, "what are you doing!?!"
HR Manager said, "I don't like to hire unlucky people." - Whenever I have to hire people I throw half of the applications in the trash can I don't want to hire any unlucky people
- If you ever have to go through job applications, throw half of them away randomly You don't want to hire anyone unlucky
- I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs Wrong plaice, wrong thyme
- Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I immediately throw half of them away. I don't want unlucky people working in my department.
- In the French Navy, it's considered unlucky to have the number 5 in a ship's name... Because all of the ships with that number in their name... cinq
- I keep getting unlucky in relationships. My last girlfriend had no personality And the previous one had 3
- I'm surprised 4 isn't an unlucky number. Nothing good ever comes from putting 2 and 2 together.
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Unlucky One Liners
Which unlucky one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unlucky? I can suggest the ones about unfortunate and unsuccessful.
- My eight year old sister asked me what my unlucky number was "2009"
- Ladders are banned in Black Panther's homeland They're considered unlucky to Wakanda.
- When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When your a mouse!
Edit : you're a mouse - Did you hear the one about the unlucky bullfrog? It croaked.
- What do you call a rabbit with no feet? Very Unlucky.
- What do you call a band of unlucky politicians? The Dead Kennedys.
- What do you call an unlucky fish? Unfortunate
- What do you call an unlucky Jew? Bad juju
- We missed friday the 13th by just 1 day... ...how unlucky!
- When can you call an Arab unlucky? When all his wife's have synchronized periods.
Fun-Filled Unlucky Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about unlucky you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unhappy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unlucky pranks.
don't be a pig
two cannibals split a unlucky explorer. They agree, you start on one leg and me on the other, ok, one says to the other, how you doing over there? Oh i'm having a ball he says, well slow down then
My friend has a job where he fixes lights
and the other week he was in an Indian restaraunt fixing some, and they were using these huge cauldrons to cook their food.
As he was attaching one of the lights he fell into one of thsee "cauldrons" and he was extremely injured, terribly unlucky.
Today I rang the hospital to see how he is doing and then said its not going good. He's in a corma.
It's unlucky to glance over your shoulder while wearing a sweater made of rabbit wool...
Don't look back in angora.
Being an HR, whenever I get a new batch of resumes, I always throw half of them in the garbage.
I don't want unlucky people working in my department.
Whenever I get a stack of job applications, I throw half of them in the garbage
I don't want unlucky people working for me
If I am ever put in charge of hiring at my company ...
... I will randomly divide the stack of applications into two piles and then throw one of them away.
I just don't want to work with unlucky people.
There was once a very unlucky man
Crossing the road , he got hit by a truck .
Then on his way to heaven , got hit by a plane
The united states is so unlucky...
...that it appears to have been built over an Indian cemetery. Oh wait.
If ever you feel unlucky
you are. the world is 4.6 billion years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as Donald Trump.
When I'm a hiring manager and I receive a pile of CVs
I throw half of the pile in the trash. I don't want unlucky people working in my department.
When employing people, gather all the CVs together and randomly split them into two piles.
Take one pile and throw it in the bin. This stops you employing anyone unlucky.
People keep telling me im unlucky to have Insomnia but the jokes on them...
only 2 more sleeps till Christmas!
My wife walked in on me m**......
I tried to hide what I was doing and quickly changed the TV channel but it switched to a programme about disfigured babies. She saw what I was doing and saw what was on TV, so now she thinks I get turned on by disfigured babies. I mean, how unlucky is that? The same programme being on at the same time on two different channels!
What does your baby daddy have in common with an unlucky gambler?
Neither of them pulled out in time.
We had a job opening with 60 applicants. I threw the top half of the pile of resumes away without looking at them. My colleague asked why I did that.
I replied, "I do not want unlucky people working for me."
So I found out today that my partner has a f**...
Which is unlucky for me because I'm only 6 inches
A man was attacked by four armed men...
Its unlucky enough to be attacked by one four-armed man
I'm getting really unlucky during this game of jenga
I guess the odds are stacked against me
When you're hiring for your business, take the stack of applications, and throw half of them out without reading them.
You don't want to be surrounded by unlucky people, do you?
I am so unlucky in love..
I once asked out a blind woman and she said she was seeing someone!!
I must be very unlucky
every time I argue with someone on reddit it's with someone who's already a professional in that subject! never knew redditors were so smart
I am so unlucky in love.
I asked a blind woman for a date last week, and she said she was seeing someone.
A very unlucky man finds a strange looking lamp, and when he touches it, a genie pops out.
The genie tells him he has one wish
The man says "Wow, finally my bad luck will come to an end!"
After thinking about it for a long time, he says "I wish I had the midas touch"
The genie grants his wish, and for the rest of that mans life everything he touched turned into a muffler.
An airplane joke
The pilot comes on the speaker
Pilot: "Now that we are in the air I figured I'd lighten it up with a joke. Knock knock"
Passengers "Whose there?"
Pilot: "Superman"
Passengers: "Superman who?"
Pilot: "You're at forty thousand feet, it's either me, or a really unlucky baggage handler, now open up"