Unlimited Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
On a flight from Dublin, Ireland to Boston, the chief flight attendant made an announcement...
"Due to a terrible mistake by the airline's caterer, there are only 80 dinners instead of the 225 required to feed all the passengers on board. To fix the situation, we are offering unlimited drinks to anybody who is willing to give up their meal".
Two hours before landing, another announcement was made. "There are still 80 meals available if anybody is hungry".
A boy just saved Donald Trump's life.
And Trump says he can have anything he wants.
The boy asks for a wheelchair ramp for his family's van, and unlimited access to handicapped parking.
Trump asks the boy if this is for his mom or his dad.
The boy says that it's for him.
"But kid, you're not in a wheelchair." says Trump.
"I will be when my dad finds out what I've done."
How do you buy unlimited kid's toys?
Well first, you add a kid's item to your cart.
And then another...
And then another...
Add infant item
Little Johnny asked his teacher a question.
"If there were two doors where one of them led to unlimited money and the second one ked t**... a path guiding to knowledge, which one would you choose Mrs. P?"
Mrs. P: Obviously, the door with the knowledge.
Johnny: I would go for the door with unlimited money since one only wants something he doesn't have already.
Aliens visit, and their first question is: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Aliens: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Humans: "well, we were worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...... and then we made it to developing technology that can destroy this entire planet, and pretty soon we'll have unlimited energy from that tech."
Aliens: "Impressive. Good thing you stopped worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...."
Humans:
h**... would be a bad genie.
Because despite having unlimited power, he can't handle itty bitty living space.
A guy rescued a genie.
To return the favor, the genie offered him a wish: he could have unlimited money, or unlimited wisdom. The man chose the latter. A few days passed by, his friend came to visit him, finding him crying very fiercely and screaming the sentence: "I should have chosen the money."
What's the difference between call girl, girl friend and wife?
Prepaid, postpaid and unlimited
An Irishman finds a lamp...
...and there's a genie inside who grants him three wishes. For his first wish he asks for an unlimited supply of Guinness. The genie asks what his other two wishes are. After some thought, the Irishman answers "I'll have two more of the same please."
My friend couldn't stop sneezing and I said, "man, your nose is like a shotgun with unlimited ammo!"
He said, "It's ah.. ahh.. an-an-allergy"
I said, "no, simile".
I think Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet
because Pizza Hut will accept all competitors' coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place: Mitch's Pizzeria -- this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza.'
You can explore unlimited limitless reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean unlimited finite dad jokes. There are also unlimited puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's more than infinity?
I got my teenage daughter an unlimited minutes plan for her phone --- she still ran out!
Why do Catholic priests like Indian restaurants so much?
Unlimited fresh naans!
I have one of those unlimited cell phone plans.
Santa can't give an unlimited number of gifts to everyone
_He has a cap_
There is a bar where you get unlimited drinks and also get laid for just $1!
I am going to try it tomorrow and see if my sister was telling the truth.
Why my company does not offer unlimited vacation
Nobody leaves that long.
I have unlimited power!*
*for seventeen cents per kilowatt hour
I could write a perfect book if I had the right tools
All I need is unlimited monkeys with typewriters
Elon Musk is so rich his his tow-truck is a rocket ship, his parking garage is space, and he can afford an unlimited data plan with no throttling!
Yea I mean like no buffering at all.
Did you hear about the modern art cell phone service?
It comes with an unlimited Dada plan.
