Unlimited Jokes
25 unlimited jokes and hilarious unlimited puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unlimited that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you in the mood for some unlimited laughter? Check out this article featuring an abundance of jokes from the Justice League Unlimited! Enjoy an endless supply of funny jokes that are sure to bring you and your friends limitless entertainment.
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Funniest Unlimited Short Jokes
Short unlimited jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unlimited humour may include short endless jokes also.
- How do you buy unlimited kid's toys? Well first, you add a kid's item to your cart.
And then another...
And then another...
Add infant item - What's the difference between call girl, girl friend and wife? Prepaid, postpaid and unlimited
- My friend couldn't stop sneezing and I said, "man, your nose is like a shotgun with unlimited ammo!" He said, "It's ah.. ahh.. an-an-allergy"
I said, "no, simile". - What's more than infinity? I got my teenage daughter an unlimited minutes plan for her phone --- she still ran out!
- I have one of those unlimited cell phone plans. There's no limit to how much they can charge me.
- There is a bar where you get unlimited drinks and also get laid for just $1! I am going to try it tomorrow and see if my sister was telling the truth.
- I could write a perfect book if I had the right tools All I need is unlimited monkeys with typewriters
- Elon Musk is so rich his his tow-truck is a rocket ship, his parking garage is space, and he can afford an unlimited data plan with no throttling! Yea I mean like no buffering at all.
- Did you hear about the modern art cell phone service? It comes with an unlimited Dada plan.
- Gurl, do you have unlimited visas to any country in the world? Cuz I'm tryna get in Djibouti
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Unlimited One Liners
Which unlimited one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unlimited? I can suggest the ones about infinite and no limit.
- Why do Catholic priests like Indian restaurants so much? Unlimited fresh naans!
- I have one of those unlimited cell phone plans.
- Santa can't give an unlimited number of gifts to everyone _He has a cap_
- Why my company does not offer unlimited vacation Nobody leaves that long.
- I have unlimited power!* *for seventeen cents per kilowatt hour
Unlimited Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about unlimited you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean never ending jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unlimited pranks.
On a flight from Dublin, Ireland to Boston, the chief flight attendant made an announcement...
"Due to a terrible mistake by the airline's caterer, there are only 80 dinners instead of the 225 required to feed all the passengers on board. To fix the situation, we are offering unlimited drinks to anybody who is willing to give up their meal".
Two hours before landing, another announcement was made. "There are still 80 meals available if anybody is hungry".
A flight from Dublin to Boston
Shortly after I took off on an Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston a few weeks ago, the air hostess nervously announced that the catering department had made a terrible mistake. A big mix up she said. Although 226 passengers were on board they received only 80 dinners. She apologised, but said that anybody kind enough to give up their meal would receive unlimited free drinks for the remainder of the flight. The next announcement came 2 hours later when she said, "If anybody is hungry, we still have 80 dinners available".
A boy just saved Donald Trump's life.
And Trump says he can have anything he wants.
The boy asks for a wheelchair ramp for his family's van, and unlimited access to handicapped parking.
Trump asks the boy if this is for his mom or his dad.
The boy says that it's for him.
"But kid, you're not in a wheelchair." says Trump.
"I will be when my dad finds out what I've done."
Little Johnny asked his teacher a question.
"If there were two doors where one of them led to unlimited money and the second one ked t**... a path guiding to knowledge, which one would you choose Mrs. P?"
Mrs. P: Obviously, the door with the knowledge.
Johnny: I would go for the door with unlimited money since one only wants something he doesn't have already.
Aliens visit, and their first question is: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Aliens: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Humans: "well, we were worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...... and then we made it to developing technology that can destroy this entire planet, and pretty soon we'll have unlimited energy from that tech."
Aliens: "Impressive. Good thing you stopped worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...."
Humans:
h**... would be a bad genie.
Because despite having unlimited power, he can't handle itty bitty living space.
A guy rescued a genie.
To return the favor, the genie offered him a wish: he could have unlimited money, or unlimited wisdom. The man chose the latter. A few days passed by, his friend came to visit him, finding him crying very fiercely and screaming the sentence: "I should have chosen the money."
An Irishman finds a lamp...
...and there's a genie inside who grants him three wishes. For his first wish he asks for an unlimited supply of Guinness. The genie asks what his other two wishes are. After some thought, the Irishman answers "I'll have two more of the same please."
I think Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet
because Pizza Hut will accept all competitors' coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place: Mitch's Pizzeria -- this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza.'
