Unlike Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Unlike jokes. Read unlike sjws jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these unlike hate puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Laughter Unlike Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

My uncle died yesterday, peacefully in his sleep...

...unlike the passengers in his car.

Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.

Difference between computers and woman

Unlike computers a woman will reject a 3 1/2 inch floppy.

What's the difference between the Friendzone and the Endzone?

Unlike football, you'll never get to spike it in the Friendzone.

jokes about unlike

Lawyers and computers

have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.

When I die, I want to go like my grandpa.....

Peacefully in my sleep, unlike them whinny kids screaming as the bus went off the cliff.

Why do Europeans hate American food?

Europeans don't want to die yet.

Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.

Unlike joke, Why do Europeans hate American food?

Mayweather remains unbeaten

Unlike his ex-girlfriends.

I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th...

Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons.

Student: Can we postpone the test? It's on my birthday.

Student: Can we postpone the test? It's on my birthday.

Teacher: Well unlike your birthday, this test was planned ahead of time.

Ladies, beware of all the men who just want to get in bed with you

Unlike me, I'm fine on a table, in the forest, at the beach or whatever

You can explore unlike differently reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean unlike autism dad jokes. There are also unlike puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I wanna Die peaceful in my sleep just my like my Grandpah!

Unlike the passengers in his car...

Unlike his famous father, Lord Kelvin's son never amounted to much.

He was an absolute zero.

Unlike Jesus, I did not have a v**... birth

It is, however, looking increasing likely that I'll have a v**... death

Graduation unlike before

2 Asian kids graduated from High School. The school had never witnessed this phenomena, but both of them were #1 in their class. Long story short the parents couldn't be happier....it was a Nguyen, Nguyen for them.

How do you want it die?

Personally, i want to go out as my grandpa.

Peacefully in his sleep. Unlike his passengers, screaming and crying.

Unlike joke, How do you want it die?

My vaccume cleaner s**... because it doesn't s**......

Unlike my other vaccume cleaner, which doesn't s**... because it s**....

(co-writing credit to smarties pants u/lord_of_the_realm)

I'd like to die in my sleep like my grandpa

Comfortably, unlike the rest of the people in his car

Unlike many guys, I don't try to get into a lady's pants…

…mostly because they won't fit me, but also because they lack usable pockets. What's up with that aspect of fashion design, anyway?

I'm not passive aggressive.

Unlike *some* people.

A Russian goes to a watchmaker.

He says, "My clock is defective. It only goes 'tic...tic...tic...tic...' unlike the others, which go 'tic...toc...tic...toc...'."
"No problem", says the watchmaker, taking the clock from its owner.
He then shines a light in the clock's face and says menacingly, "We have ways to make it toc."

A programmer and his wife...

A programmers wife asks him to go to the shop and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.

The programmer returns with one loaf of bread and twelve eggs because programmers don't act like computers unlike some others on this sub.

I am not passive aggressive

Unlike someone

Unlike my other girlfriends, my new Thai girlfriend is really into me.

about four inches into me to be precise.

My mother-in-law came into work at lunch time today, and I must admit unlike other men, I was genuinely pleased to see her.

By the way I'm an undertaker.

Houston, Texas, is six feet underwater

Unlike Whitney Houston, who is six feet underground.

Unlike joke, Houston, Texas, is six feet underwater

A man wakes up late one night to find his wife eating candy.

The man says "Honey, why are you eating that this late at night?"

and his wife replies with "Because unlike you, Snickers satisfies me."

Credit to Ronnie Serrano.

People tell me I'm a narcissist

Unlike everyone else

Dems haven't won a senate seat in Alabama since 1992

Unlike Roy Moore, they were capable of waiting 25 years.

Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31.

Unlike me, it had a date on New Year's Eve.

Unlike everyone else, I'm not worried about losing my job to robots.

They are yet to come up with a machine that does nothing.

I see "Yo Momma" is coming back...

Unlike yo daddy.

My grandad the bus driver passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday

unlike his passengers

A friend of mine had a pet boxer.

Unlike a dog, whenever the doorbell rang he walked over to the corner and sat down.

I'm opening a wine bar

Unlike other wine bars we will only sell wine that is not very old. The name of the place? Statutory Grape.

Can these Madeline McCann jokes on here please stop? They're offensive and getting pretty old.

Unlike Madeline McCann.

I noticed that I am quite a mature person, ever since I stopped making indirect comments about others.

Unlike some others that I know.

The percent of the population holding anti-vaccination beliefs has gotten up to the mid-teens.

Unlike their children.

As the nurse gave the newborn his first vaccine she said, You are lucky to live in a country where these are used,

Unlike Clark County, Washington

George Pell's age is being taken into consideration for his sentencing.

Unlike George Pell's choice of s**... partner.

All the jokes about anti-vaxxers are getting old

Unlike their kids

Some of the jokes here are getting old

Unlike antivaxx children

Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast

Not unlike a good sports bra

A mathematician comes home at 3:00 AM

A mathematician comes home at 3:00 AM and gets a good shouting at from his wife

"You said you'd be home at 11:45, this is so unlike you!

The mathematician calmly responds,"No dear I said I'd be back home at a quarter *of* twelve."

A man made a car.

Unlike other cars, the entire thing was made of wood. The wheels, the steering wheel, the seats, etc.
One day, he decided to try it out. But for some reason,

it wooden work.

I want to die just like my grandpa, deep in my sleep

Unlike passengers in his car screaming and crying.

I always said I wanted to die peaceful in my sleep like my grandfather

Unlike his passengers

Unlike my friends, I don't waste money on so-called quality keyboards.

They're simply not worth ittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Statistics say that 2 out of 10 people don't understand how percentages work.

Unlike us, the other 90%.

Covid can't be beaten.

Unlike suspects. That's why Covid is the current #1 killer of cops in America.

When i die i want to die like my grandfather who passed in his sleep.

Unlike his passenges, who died screaming.

I trust escalators even less than stairs…

Because, unlike stairs, they are automatically up to something.

I am smarter than George Jetson

Because unlike him, I wasn't born yesterday

A conquistador was talking to a native about the superiority of his civilization.

"Unlike you savages we do not partake in cannibalism or human sacrifice. Now eat your body and blood of Christ or we'll burn you at the stake!"

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the unlike doppelganger puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working unlike dota piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes