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Univ Jokes

69 univ jokes and hilarious univ puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about univ that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Univ Short Jokes

Short univ jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The univ humour may include short u of m jokes also.

  1. I'm on holiday visiting the math dept. at Univ. of Manchester, England. I guess I'm an Alan Turist.

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Univ One Liners

Which univ one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with univ? I can suggest the ones about unison and unite.

  1. What school did Darth Vader attend? Univer-sith-y
    ... I'll let myself out.

Univ joke, What school did Darth Vader attend?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about univ can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of univ puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Heartwarming Univ Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about univ you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean unicycle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make univ prank.

Why is a university Philosophy Department always cheaper to fund than the Math Department?

The math department needs paper, pencils, and a wastebasket.
The philosophy department only needs paper and pencils.

A university in the United States was robbed of a whopping $170,000

One student managed to erase his own debt.

Why is the universe feminine in nature?

Because it's made up of galaxies.

Why does the universe expand?.... All the Milky Ways.

You get it.

Three Universities ...

Three Universities all done research into why a mans bell end is shaped the way it is.
Oxford Uni spent £100,000 in 6 months and came to the conclusion it is for the pleasure of the woman.
Cambridge Uni spent £250,000 in 18 months and came to the conclusion its for the pleasure of the man.
Dublin Uni spent 50 pence in 5 minutes and came to the conclusion its to stop your hand flying off the end.

Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors?

So they can park in handicap spots.

The universe implodes....

No matter.

A university professor stood up in front of his class of 300 and proclaimed that the number of people in the class was a vector

After he had finished his sentence there were only 100 people left.
(I got bored in a lecture ^...I'm^so^sorry )

I just got a new universal remote

Wow! This changes everything...

Which university has the most muslims?

SUNY

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

70% of all university students identify themselves as procrastinators. ..

The other 30% haven't gotten round to it yet.

What university did Lil Jon go to?

YAAAAAAAAALE

University: "Got any money for tuition?"

Me: "Go Fish"

What's the #1 university for the hearing impaired?

Yale.

What happens when a university math professor and a high school math teacher get it on?

Calculust

The Universal Miss award goes to

Steve Harvey.

If the universe were not absurd, would it make sense?

squid

If the universe really is a computer program. ..

I guess Jesus really does save us.
Probably in a file somewhere.

At university I was going to join the debating class...

...but someone talked me out of it

My university lecturer makes all of his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It's textbook economics.

University....

Close to being unemployed but with your parents still being proud of you

My university offers s**... education lessons....

Guess I should sign up for intercouses.

How does the universe throw a party?

They planet.

At university, students had to come up with a sentence in which the words "love" and "s**..." both appeared

A female student's composition:
'When two people deeply and passionately love each other, and both reach a high level of mutual respect, then society morally and spiritually encourages that these two people should unite in the ecstasy of physical s**....'
A male student's composition:
'I love s**....'

My university just announced a Computer Science exchange program with an Indonesian university

I'm really excited for the courses in Java

What university department did the Fonz go do when he needed help paying his tuition?

Financial Ayyyyyyd
I'll^see^myself^out

What do you and the universe have in common?

You both started with a Big Bang.
(I've known this joke for a longtime and I don't remember if I made it)

There is a university in Germany that continually searches for the biggest piece of wood

Its the Max Plank institute

A university president was complaining to the dean of engineering about his department's expenses...

"Why can't you be more like the math department? The only equipment they need is a blackboard and an eraser. Or better yet, like the philosophy department! They don't even need the eraser."
Repost from 3001: The Final Odyssey.

I almost had a 4.0 at University.

It turns out that Greek mythology was my Achilles elbow.

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, s**... and mystery.

The prize-winning essay read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"

Why don't University of Wisconsin football players ever date University of Minnesota cheerleaders?

Ever seen what a badger does to a gopher hole?

University is no fun...

No fun et al.

At my university the only way to have a mini-fridge in my room is to have a medical condition...

Apparently being an alcoholic doesn't qualify...

What does the universe and every human being share in common?

They were both created with a Big Bang.

I came to University thinking I'd get some of dat hot b**...

But the only time I got some was when my fingers went through that cheap campus toilet paper.

My university is so concerned about the environment..

They've been recycling past papers since 87'.

Why did the University of Alabama choose to be the "Tide"?

Because elephant was too hard to spell.

Maybe the universe is like a giant party...

and the planets just awkwardly follow the sun around because they don't know anyone.

Two University of Chicago professors are walking down the street

One says look, a twenty dollar bill!
The other replies no, if there was really a twenty dollar bill on the ground, someone would have picked it up .

Universty exams be like

boy on a bicycle increases his velocity from 5 m/s to 20 m/s in 10 seconds. What is the boy's name?

They said that the universe is just a computer simulation

Well 6.5 billion years ago there were no computers!

What is the universal f**... for scientists?

LaTeX...

My university demanded we use a specific type of notebook

It's college rule

I was trying to think of what the universe was like before the big bang.

Nothing came to mind.

If you think about it

Everything in the universe is either icecream or not icecream.

Even if the universe ends with a Big Freeze

We'll still be 0K!

What does the "h" in university stand for?

Happiness

My universal remote is finally here

Now this changes everything

Why go to university and get a degree?

When I can go to a corner and get 90 degrees!

Everyone at my university is morbidly obese, it's making my brain hurt

Specifically, I think it's the hippo campus.

What do both Universities and Prostitutes have in common

Both take all of you money and give you aids

Thanks university! I don't think I can ever repay you!

Spend a 100k to get a 40k job...

A university has been accused of not having enough people of colour on their competitive speech recital team.

To tackle the problem they took a bunch of students and covered them in body paint.
They now claim they have achieved their dye varsity quoters.

Even if the universe ended in a big freeze

We'd be 0K

The university president was inconsolable when the wing housing social sciences and languages burned down.

"Oh, the Humanities!" he cried.

University is similar to high school

To a degree.

What do Universal Studios and Pinocchio have in common?

They both own a woodpecker

This is some very old university graffitti that's probably forgotten by now, so I'm posting it

Descartes: to be is to do
Nietzsche: to do is to be
Sinatra: do be do be do

If M&M's go to university,

do they become Smarties?

In University I was doing a 'Degree In Communism' . . . but had to drop out after the first year . . .

. . . lousy Marx

There's a University called the National University of Science and Technology

It's not called the National University of Technology and Science, because that would be NUTS.

My university professor and Gandalf have a lot in common...

..they both say "You shall not pass!"

At a university there was a dean who cared about others and showed exemplary behavior. One day an angel appeared at a faculty conference.

The angel said as a reward for his good deeds that God would give him his choice of eternal riches, eternal wisdom, or eternal beauty.
The dean chose eternal wisdom without hesitation.
"Good," said the angel, disappearing into a cloud of smoke.
Everyone present turned their gazes to the dean, who was illuminated by a faint halo.
A colleague whispered, "Tell me something."
The dean, who had gained eternal wisdom, sighed and said, "I should have chosen eternal riches."

A University of Alabama graduate gets a job

He shows up to his first day of work, and the boss hands him a mop and a bucket.
"Hey! I will have you know I'm a graduate of the University of Alabama!"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the boss said, "let me show you how to use those."

Did you know that University of Florida was not the first school to invent a hydrating sports drink with Gatorade?

Turns out Florida State couldn't make the marketing work for Seminole Fluid.

jokes about univ

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these univ jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.