The Best 36 Units Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Units jokes. There are some units manchester united jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these units condo puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Units Jokes and Puns

A minister and a lawyer at the pearly gates.

A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments.

"Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, (to the lawyer) the keys to our finest penthouse suit."

"This is unfair!" cried the minister.

"Listen," Saint Peter said, "ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've seen."

I was talking to my science class...

...about Astronomical Units (Au). Our conversation was gold.

Freedom Units are Measured In...


Units joke, Freedom Units are Measured In...

Apple's new iphone sold over 13M units this past weekend

I guess you can say it was a 6S

I was going to consider brief units of time

but now I'm having second thoughts.

What evil do the USA and Darth Vader have in common?

Using imperial units.

What do a battleship and a belly button ring have in common?

They're both Naval units.

Units joke, What do a battleship and a belly button ring have in common?


I have a fetish for switching on air conditioning units.

It gives me vent elation.

America is converting to metric units...

inch by inch.

TIL that French military units do not fly the French flag.

They use a white flag instead.

How physicists see other sciences:

Biology: squishy physics
Geology: slow physics
Computer Science: virtual physics
Psychology: people physics
Chemistry: impure physics
Math: physics minus the units

You can explore units apartments reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean units imperial dad jokes. There are also units puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I finally learned how to convert units to the metric system!

It's a real 1.61kilometers6.35kilograms for me.

How much is twelve units of mass?

Dozen matter.

What did the police dispatcher say when a short psychic woman escaped from prison?

Calling all units, we have a small medium at large

Why was the Death Star measured in miles?

Because they used Imperial units.

Sometimes I don't remember to convert SI units into their more common names. But forgetting s^-1...

Really Hertz

Units joke, Sometimes I don't remember to convert SI units into their more common names. But forgetting s^-1...

Back in ancient Egypt, the standardized units of measurements were based off the length of the current pharoah's body parts. The pointer finger would be one unit of measurement, the forearm another, and so on.

It could be noted, the pharoah was the ruler.

What do astronomers use to measure the distance between Earth and the Sun?

Absolute units.

What units are used to measure liquid volume in North Korea?

Great Liters.

What do a hooker and a quantum physicist have in common?

Both do their work in natural units.

What's a Mathematician's best friend?

Absolute units

My doctor says I can have up to 20 units a week

but now I've eaten half my kitchen.

Use any units you'd like (actually happened in a class of mine)

Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.
Student: *raises hand*
Professor: Yes?
Student: 1 Earth

I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...

There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.

The width of a milk jug is 5.5"

Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches

93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,666,666,666 Feet

Divided by 5280

1,475,694,444 Miles

Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units

You get 15.8 AU's.

You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.


A science teacher is quizzing the class on various units and measurements.

What is the unit of volume?


What is the unit of mass?


What is the unit of distance?


What is the unit of power?


(I know, it works a bit better spoken)

Shoutout to all the intensive care units out there...


Shoutout to all the intensive care units...


Just want to show my appreciation to all the staff working in the Intensive Care Units by saying

I See You

What is the scientific units for flatulence concentration?

Farts per million.

I heard that scientists are meeting to redefine units of measure.

I'm kind of afraid that if we give them an inch they'll take a mile.

What's the hardest part about being a Liberal?

Telling your gender neutral parental units that you're straight.

Yo momma so fat that....

....her tape measure was in astronomical units.

What would happen if the United States switched from imperial to metric units overnight?

There would be mass confusion.

we should stop making fun of the Americans for using inches, foot, miles, etc as units of measurements.

it's not like they crashed a rocket into Mars because of this or something... oh wait...

I just realised something really coincidental.

Units of time can correlate to words of inferiority. For example,

* second = second (second place)
* week = weak
* fortnight = Fortnite

The world's top scientists and Americans were furiously arguing on Reddit about the units of measure until your mom brought cookies for snack.

It was then that both unanimously agreed that your mom is an absolute unit.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the units unit jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working units planck piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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