United Kingdom Jokes
24 united kingdom jokes and hilarious united kingdom puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about united kingdom that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest United Kingdom Short Jokes
Short united kingdom jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The united kingdom humour may include short great britain jokes also.
- The Irish must have lost so much money last night due to betting. They'll be asking to rejoin the United Kingdom later today.
- The president of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody is sure who is going to win. In other words... Trump may trump May. May may trump Trump.
- The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies... It'll be known as the National Elf Service.
- I guess the United Kingdom really does have a patriarchy... ...because that is one hung Parliament.
- What is the wettest country on earth? United Kingdom, because the Queen has reigned for years.
*this is my 8 year old daughters absolute favorite joke. - Why is it called the United Kingdom instead of the United Queendom when it's ruled by a Queen? Because it's still ruled by a man (Theresa May)
- Who's the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom according to Tiffany Haddish? Theresa Heeeyyyyy
- I was bewildered when the United Kingdom people voted to pull out of the EU? I mean, U K guys?
- United Kingdom: Brexit is the s**... most self destructive act a country could take. USA : lol, hold my beer
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United Kingdom One Liners
Which united kingdom one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with united kingdom? I can suggest the ones about united states and united nation.
- The United Kingdom. A country whose name is now ironic.
- What will you call a big broken glacier piece, floating towards United Kingdom? Iceburgh
- What is United Kingdom's top song for December 2018? "All I want for Christmas is EU"
- Alex Salmond walks into a bar in Scotland I'm sorry, I meant the United Kingdom.
- United Kingdom More like... Divided Kingdom.
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What funny jokes about united kingdom you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean united nations jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make united kingdom pranks.
The Queen created a beautiful design that I decided to put on a shirt
One day, the Queen of The United Kingdoms designed a beautiful new crest for the royal family and seeing it, I saw an opportunity for profit and began selling t-shirts with the design printed on them thinking that the royal family wouldn't mind.
After several very angry calls from the royal family's lawyers, I found out that I had to pay Her Royalty her royalties for Her Royal Tee's^TM
The year is 2219
A dishevelled white haired man crosses the desert that was once the English Channel from the United Kingdom of England to visit the capital of the Eurasian Empire in Brussels. As has been the case for 200 years, he delivers an unsigned letter and returns home, only to repeat the process again the next year. The true meaning of the ritual is lost in the annals of history but many believe it goes back to the days of a mythical quest they called Brexit.
Sir John and Chung Lee walking in front of the Buckingham palace
Chung Lee says: "When I see all these flags, my heart fills with joy!"
Sir John:"But you are a Chinese national only visiting the United Kingdom, how so?"
Chung Lee:"Did you ever read the labels on the flags?!"
So donald trump went to visit the queen of England the other day...
Donald trump went to visit the queen of England the the other day, he says to her:
I'd like to change the name of the united states to the empire of the united states."
and she says "no I'm sorry sir, for you to have an empire you'd need to be an emperor, and you sir are no emperor."
he says "well how about the kingdom of the united states?"
and she says "no I'm sorry sir, for you to have a kingdom you must be a king, and you sir are no king"
he goes "well what then"
and she says "i think it would be best if you stayed a country
On a dark and stormy night...
...a comet flies past Earth. This comet was enchanted, and after it flew past the world, it caused all statues to come to life, solely focused on destroying every country in the world.
No nation was left safe from this attack. The gargoyles attacked France. The Statue of Liberty led a revolt against America. Michelangelo's David led the charge towards Italy.
As the war of human versus statue waged on, a group went into the United Kingdom, led by the Venus de Milo, intent on overthrowing the English government.
However, as the statues were ready to attack, the British generals noticed something. None of the statues had any weapons! No guns, knives, armor, anything.
After this realization, one British general turns to another, points at the leader of the statues and says,
"Don't worry; she's 'armless."