Unison Jokes
28 unison jokes and hilarious unison puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unison that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Unison Short Jokes
Short unison jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unison humour may include short unite jokes also.
- One time, I was out scuba diving when I suddenly heard beautiful voices singing in unison. I was very surprised until I looked beneath me and realized it was coming from a choral reef.
- cow herd holding a meeting to trap poachers..... cow head: moo moo moo moo moo moo moo.
cow herd: moo moo moo
all nodded in unison: a pen. - Ceremony presenter: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...." The audience, in unison: "DID YOU JUST ASSUME OUR GENDERS?!"
- "Atlanta" star says season2 shooting begins this year -News Chicago PD and local gangs in unison yelled back, you are half a year late wannabes.
- The Pope is elevating Pete Carrol! He's the only person that can make 20,000,000 people shout out JESUS CHRIST in unison!
- Two twins are looking through a family photo album "It's not you, it's me" They both say in unison.
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Unison One Liners
Which unison one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unison? I can suggest the ones about unionized and harmony.
- How do you get two accordion players to play in perfect unison? Shoot one.
- I hate singers that sing in unison. But I wouldn't harmony.
- What instrument does it sound like when two sheep bleat in unison? The Two-baaa.
- How do you get 2 violinists to play in unison? Shoot one.
- What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord? Two flutists playing in unison.
Share Hilarious Unison Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about unison you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean symphony jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unison pranks.
Liar
A minister passed a group of teenaged boys sitting on the church lawn. Evening, boys. What are you doing? Nothing much, Pastor, replied the one lad. We're just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about his s**... life. Boys, boys, boys! intoned the minister. I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never thought about s**... at all. The boys looked at each other and then said in unison, You win, Pastor!
An Englishman walks into a bar...
He sees three fat ladies ordering drinks at the counter and hears a thick accent.
"Excuse me, are you three ladies from Scotland?"
They all scream back in unison, "WALES, YOU IDIOT!!"
"Oh, sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"
Several aristocrats are having a party on a cruise ship, when the captain comes down and interrupts.
"I have some good news and some bad news," he says. "Which do you want to hear first?"
"Good!" everyone says in unison.
The captain says, "We won eleven Oscars!"
Two priests were driving down a road...
Two priests were driving down a road when they were pulled over by a police officer.
The officer said, I'm looking for two child molesters
The priests took a moment to think, and then in unison said we'll do it!
A teacher in class with her students
+ Alright kids, so what does the chicken give us?
- Eggs! They answer in unison.
+ Very good! And what does the pig give us?
- Meat!
+ Excellent! And how about the cow?
- Homework!
It's the second day on Noah's Ark and all the animals are meeting up with their counterparts.
The unicorns find each other, and the first unicorn introduces himself, saying "Hi, my name's Frank." The second unicorn says "Hi Frank, I'm j**...!" The unicorns in unison say "Oh s**......"
An all boys high school teacher was doing the attendance roll call one morning
She went through the list of names and each student replied, Yes miss as their name was called.
James?
Yes miss, replied James.
Is Robert here?
Yes miss, replied Robert.
Jack?
After about 5 seconds of silence, Jack hadn't replied.
The teacher continued, j**... today?
The whole class in unison, Okay we will miss.
A pair of twins walk into a bar...
A pair of twins walk into a bar.
A man walks up to them and asks:
"So is it true that twins can communicate telepathically"
They look at each other in silence for about 30 seconds when the man says:
"I'm sorry if that was an awkward question, it was s**... of me to ask"
They respond in unison "No it's fine, we were just discussing an answer to give you"
A man walks up to another man...
...and in perfect unison they say to each other, How am I supposed to know if I suffer from narcissistic personality disorder? Taken aback they stare at each other for a few more moments. After a few seconds the owner walks over and says, Sir this is a mirror store. To which the man replied, SHUT UP! Can't you see I'm flirting?
Two statisticians go deer hunting...
they are out all day long when finally they spot a 5 point buck. They simultaneously crouch down silently, take aim, and shoot. The first statistician fires 20 feet to the left of the deer. The second statistician fires 20 feet to the right of the deer. In unison, they both shout out "got it"!
Thank you folks, I'll be here all week. Tip your waiters.
An uneducqted p**... goes by an elementary school.
She hears a class in progress and is interested. She approaches the classroom window and hears the teacher "..What comes after N?" "P!" The children shout in unison. The teacher continues "Now can someone tell me what comes after P" the p**... in a fit of excitement burst out "BURNING!"
The NSA is bracing itself for what could be the single largest data leak in history. Rumors are circulating about the possibility of thousands of whistleblowers stepping forward in unison across the Northeast in the next few days.
CNN reports, "This time tomorrow, there will be thousands of Edward's snowed in."
Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven.
Upon entering the gate, they were halted
by St. Peter and his obedient angel.
St. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you
must answer this simple question.". "Which is ...?",
they replied in unison. "Have you been a good girl?",
he asked the first girl.
"Oh yes", she said. "I was a v**... before I got
married and was still v**... even after I got married."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl ...
the golden key."
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl.
"Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a v**... before I
got married but was not after I got married." "Very good",
said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl ... the silver key."
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl.
"Oh no, not at all," she said. "I practically had s**... with
every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere,
anytime."
"Very good," said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl ...
my room key."
u**... race.
I was at a group thing and we went on break. Some dude and I got to neighboring urinals and in unison our pee hit the water at the same time. We both knew one thing, the race was on!
The race was a dead heat. Both of us were expelling as fast as we could. I could hear the pressure increasing as we both of us wanted that win.
The winner of a foot race can be designated by the one who crosses the finish line first. In that respect I won.
The winner of a drinking contest is the one that didn't pee on themselves. In that respect, I lost.
