Unique Jokes
94 unique jokes and hilarious unique puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unique that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find the funniest and most unique jokes to brighten your day! From unique groom, Halloween and Christmas jokes to unique kid and math jokes, we have something for everyone. Learn about the talents and infections of laughter, and unusual jokes that will put a smile on your face!
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Funniest Unique Short Jokes
Short unique jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unique humour may include short exclusive jokes also.
- All groups of animals have unique names: a gaggle of geese, a pod of whales, a colony of ants… so what do you call a group of Karens? An HOA
- I have a rather unique talent. You can give me any girl's name and I know a song for that name. Try me!
- A classic from my grandfather. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way. Unique up on it. - How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it.
- My friend has a unique ability; he can always tell if there are lions near by. He's got a great sense of pride.
- How do you catch a unique rabbit? U "nique" up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way - You know what's unique about a lesbian waitress? Its the only time in her life she'll have to work the tip.
- A coworker of mine dated a psychic He told me she was very unique and well cultured.
I asked if she was a rare medium, well-done? - So apparently the new fashion trend of the day is to stick chewed gum in your hair It's a unique look but it's hard to pull off.
- If life gets you down, remember: you're a special and unique snowflake. Just like everyone else.
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Unique One Liners
Which unique one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unique? I can suggest the ones about distinct and original.
- Always remember you're unique Just like everyone else
- How do you catch a unique bird? Unique up on it.
- Never forget, you're unique. Just like everybody else.
- They say everyone is unique... Isn't that a bit of a generalization?
- Yo mama so fat all her toes have their own unique zipcodes!
- What is special about unicorns? Their unique horns.
- snowflakes are like vaginas... each one unique...
and I like them on my tongue.. - How do you catch a unique horse? Unique up on it.
- Why are zebras like my underwear? Each has its own unique stripes.
- how do you catch a unique cat? unique up on it.
(im sorry) - How do you catch a unique creature? Unique up on it.
- How do you shoot a unique deer? You-neak up on it and shoot it.
Cr - How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.
- You are completely unique Just like everyone else!
- How did you catch a one of a kind animal? Unique up on it.
Entertaining Unique Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about unique you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unusual jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unique pranks.
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Why a fourth time?
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a f**... director.' After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a f**... director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse careers. With a smile on her face she explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'
Jokes/Puns!
1. What kind of birds always stick together? VEL CROWS.
2. What is a spider's favorite thing to do? SURF THE WEB.
3. What goes around the cow but never moves? THE FENCE.
4. Why didn't cheddar cheese want to hang out with bleu cheese? BECAUSE HE HAD A MOLDY PERSONALITY.
5. Why do fish swim in schools? BECAUSE THEY CANT WALK IN SCHOOLS.
6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? YOU NIQUE UP ON IT.
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
How do you catch a unique lion?
Unique up on him.
How do you catch a tame lion?
tame way!
Zingo!
"Greetings, my name is Bill Wateryoulookinat"
...says a man to another on the docks, he continues, "I work here at this port, is that your boat?".
"Yes it is." replies the man, "But I must say that is quite a unique name!".
"Thank you," he says, "It has been passed down for many generations, for my father also worked this port, and his father and his father before him. So like every Wateryoulookinat, I am a port man, too"
I came up with a movie idea. A man's daughter is abducted. This man has has a unique set of skills and goes on a revenge rampage.
But the idea was taken.
What do a Jew and dollar bill have in common?
They both have a unique serial number.
Just remember... you're unique...
Just like everybody else.
A girl came to me today...
...and told me she will have s**... with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.
iphone designer seeks help from god
* *iphone7 designer*:your highness show us the path to create the most unique and powerful phone the world will ever see
* *God*:arrg,why don't you just **j**...!!!**
* designer:wow,that could really work
If you say "Unique New York" (5 times fast) is it easy or hard?
The Reporter of Puns!
There was once a reporter known for his unique puns. Every day for his newscast, he would share the news with a nice pun at the end. One day he recieved a story of ten people killed in a shooting. He delivered the story and at the end stated that there was no pun in ten dead.
My wife wanted one of those "unique" names for our son. So we named him Jason
The 'J' sounds like 'Th'. The "ason" is silent. You add "omas" on the end.
They say 99.9% of people are unique in some way...
I guess I'm the 0.01% that isn't.
Why is Amumu always sad?
It's because he isn't unique. There's always amumu here and amumu there, here a mu, there a mu, everywhere amumu.
My teacher told me that I am unique
But when I told my mom what my teacher said she replied," Sweetie, just because you are autistic doesn't make you special".
Fans around the globe are rockin' out to Mariah Carey's latest hit single ...
"*The Monitors Are Down ...*", performed live for the first time today in downtown New York City, has been praised for a unique nihilistic style and pertinent statements regarding the internet-induced apathy of today's youth.
e**...?!
And all this time I thought my mom was saying I'm unique!
Mom I forgot. Am I special or unique?
No son. You're r**....
A guy walks in to a Hallmark Store.......
And asks the attendant:
Do you have a valentine's card that says: "Our love is unique, I love you with all my heart, you are the love of my life"?
Attendant says: How romantic,
Sure, We do have some.
The guy says: can I get 3 of those please.
What do you call the rest of a unique fortune teller's cremation?
A rare medium well done.
How do you catch a unique bunny?
Unique up on it !
Every province in China has its own, unique foods.
Panda Chinese Kitchen comes from the Heatlamp province.
How do you catch a special duck?
Unique up on him.
When I was a little girl, I had a unique medical condition that required me to eat play-doh three times a day to survive.
I was very lucky that my older brother informed me about it and made sure I did it, or I might not be here today.
I have a new starter business idea that's going to go viral! It's a unique product, created by harvesting the eggs from dead women…
I'm calling it: Cadaviar.
Women are like snowflakes. They're all unique, and they're all beautiful.
But in the big picture, they're all the same.
My friend told me that he is a unique, one of a kind person and not just a statistic.
Turns out that 1 person in every 100 believes this about themselves.
As a Englishman, I feel shame for my countries lack of a unique dish
I mean, look at Italy with their pasta and pizza. Portugal has Peri-Peri sauce, the French have omlettes and fancy bread. And I think we all know how the good the Germans are with ovens.
Why are d**... like Diamonds?
Massive oversupply with artificial market restrictions in place. Everyone who has one thinks they are unique, and if one is in your hand you're expected to mention its size,
and fake ones are often just as good
"There is no such thing as 'people'. There are only individuals with their own unique opinions and sentiments"
That's what I've noticed people like to hear these days.
A blonde hooks up with a guy at a bar having met earlier on Tinder.
Straight away, she starts flirting with him, subtly at first, but it quickly escalates.
"I don't usually get much response to my profile, why'd you pick me?" asks the guy.
"Well, in all honesty, I mostly use Tinder for s**...", claims the blonde, "You're cute and I like what you wrote in your profile about being a unique".
"Um... I'm a e**..."
I participated in a poll..
It asked, "Do you consider yourself unique and special?"
99 people voted for yes.
I was the 100th who voted for no. I guess everyone is different, I am the only ordinary one.
My girlfriend's unique selling point...
Is the back of the local aquarium, if anyone's interested.
Degree
I was waiting for a green light when I saw an elderly woman walking with a small child.
The excited young girl was walking slightly faster than the old lady, so the woman yelled, Degree! Wait for me!
Intrigued by such a unique name, I got out of the car and asked why she called the girl Degree.
She said, Well, I sent her mother to college to get an education, and she came home with this instead.
Credit to u/Princess_Kookie
I met a man in the woods
He explained that he wanted to tell similar trees apart by stamping unique numbers on each one.
But I had no use for his nonce ents.
Catching rabbits
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.
How do you catch a common rabbit?
Comm-on, tame way, unique up on it.
A pianist was trying to be unique by lying down on the floor and playing the piano simultaneously during a concert.
Needless to say, he was flat.
Wanted: One Night Stand
I'm moving soon and my room is really empty and lonely. I have a bed in my room and I am looking for one night stand. I prefer black, but a darker brown will do. I would also like it to be unique, not some plain night stand you would pick up from Walmart.
My wife and I are expecting a baby, and we want to give it a unique name that no one would ever think to use.
We're leaning towards "Bixby" if it's a boy, and "Cortana" if it's a girl
Humans are just like snowflakes. Each one is unique in its own way
And a large amount of them on my windshield makes it harder to drive.
That band has the unique ability to tell jokes about flowers. They're the
Puns N' Roses.
What makes LGBT game characters unique from other characters?
they don't shoot in a straight line
We should respect the fat acceptance movement for how unique it is...
It's the only movement without movement.
Whats unique about an arab drug house?
You get s**... in more than one way
A chicken has a question for his mother
A young chicken goes to his mom and asks,"why are all of our names just chicken and nothing unique?"
She tells him not to worry and that he'll have a unique name soon, just like his siblings chili chicken, butter chicken and teriyaki chicken.
2020 is a unique leap year...
It has 29 days in February.
300 days in March.
And 5 years in April.
You know what actually makes me laugh?
People trying to be unique as possible when it comes to making people saying happy cake day to them
How do you catch a unique bird?
U nique up on it...
My mother dies laughing every time she tells this joke.
My wife was showing me a really unique houseplant she was growing. When she first planted it, it was a male, and it produced pollen.
After a while, it stopped producing pollen and started making seeds. It had outgrown its p**..., so my wife wanted me to help her put it in a larger one. I said, Sure, I can help you transplant the transplant.
How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
My mother gave me a pendant for my birthday
It was a special gift with a picture of my late grandmother inside.
I thanked her profusely, but I had to ask, this is such a unique gift. What made you decide on this specific piece of jewelry?
She responded well, your grandmother has always been a strong, in-da-pendant type of woman
Ancient cultures had interesting and unique philosophies
For example, if you asked the question: What separates man from animals? You would get vastly different answers.
The Greeks would say Philosophy and Law
The Chinese would say Morals and Art
The Romans would say The Mediterranean and the Danube
What's one unique thing about Trump's appearance in NYC this week?
It's the only circus where an elephant is also the clown.
