Union Worker Jokes

Following is our collection of factory humor and serviette one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Union Worker puns for adults, dirty employers jokes or clean boss gags for kids.

There is an abundance of workers jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 13 funniest jokes on union worker. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any socialism witze you can hear about union worker.

The Best jokes about Union Worker

I wrote this little ditty just seconds after waking up.

An auto worker storms into his union leader's office. "I have a really pesky booger in my nostril, and management won't get us anymore tissue boxes!!" he shouts.

The union manager calmly responds: "Maybe you should picket."

An old joke told in the Soviet Union...

Every other Friday a factory guard saw a worker coming out of the factory pushing a wheelbarrow packed with hay.

The guard searched inside the hay, found nothing and let the guy go. This ritual repeated over several years until a time when the guard was about to retire.

When the guy pushing the wheelbarrow appeared at the gate he told him: I know you are stealing something. I am just about to retire and this is my last day here. I will not tell anybody, but, please, let me know what are you stealing. The guy smiled and answered, Oh, I am stealing the wheelbarrows.

Three men are at church. One of them is a union worker.

Three men are in Church one Sunday morning, one of them belongs to the local union. Before the service they complain amongst themselves of their various ailments and injuries.

Jesus hears them, and he appears before these gentlemen. "Tell me your troubles my children."

"Lord. I can not stand up straight or go a day without pain, thanks to a back injury i suffered years ago." The first man says.

"Be healed, Child." Jesus says. The man immediately stands stall and does jumping jacks, feeling true relief.

"Lord, I can barely see. I was blinded by a flash-bang in Iraq, I need these thick glasses just to function." The second man says. Jesus takes his glasses away and they crumble into fine powder. the man can see with perfect 20-20 vision.

The union worker, seeing this, shouts "Don't touch me! I'm on permanent disability!"

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a chemical factory worker?

Write down the word *'unionized'* and ask them to pronounce it.

The Soviet Union started to crack down on drinking while on the job...

The Soviet Union started to crack down on drinking while on the job. The Soviet official assigned to handle the problem entered one of the industrial plants where the problem was said to occur and asked a worker,

"Could you do your job if you drank a cup of vodka?"

"It would be a little difficult, but I suppose I could."

"Could you do your job if you drank two cups of vodka"

"I guess I could."

"Could you do your job if you had three cups of vodka?"

"Well, I'm here, aren't I!?"

How many union workers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Doesn't matter.

They're all on break.

*I'll show myself out*

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a construction worker?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

A CEO, a union worker and a tea party member sit down at a table ...

The union worker sets out a dozen cookies he baked.
The CEO grabs them all and tells the tea partier that the union member stole his cookie.

Just another round of Union negotiations . .

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, This man, he announced, called in sick yesterday! There, on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

A union negotiator broke the silence in the room. Wow, he said. Just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick."

How do you tell a chemist from a syndicated worker?

You ask them to read "unionize" aloud.

Today the carousel workers union has voted

to go on rotating strikes.

Did you hear about the commemorative gun they're making in honor of the democrat party and president Obama?

It's called the union worker
You'll over pay
It never works
And you can't fire it

How many union workers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know, that's not my job.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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