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Unimpressed Jokes

24 unimpressed jokes and hilarious unimpressed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unimpressed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Unimpressed Short Jokes

Short unimpressed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unimpressed humour may include short impressive jokes also.

  1. My mother-in-law just asked for "bath stuff" for her birthday She seemed unimpressed with the toaster I bought her
  2. My girlfriend was raving about our neighbors Marble Countertops. I was unimpressed, but maybe I just took them for Granite
  3. A farmer said to his friend, 'I love my job' The friend, unimpressed, replied 'Why, all you do is round up sheep!'
    'What did you just say to me?!'
    'You herd'
  4. Why are sheep the most unimpressed species on the planet? Because all they ever say is meeeeeh .
  5. What do you call an unimpressive looking, chubby, unintelligent Joe in America? Above average.
  6. Why are women unimpressed with the tectonic plates? It came at them with just 2 cm per year.

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Unimpressed One Liners

Which unimpressed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unimpressed? I can suggest the ones about disappointed and amused.

  1. What did the unimpressed cheese say? Que... so?
  2. What did the unimpressed wind turbine say? I'm not a fan.
  3. What did the US think of North Korea's military parade? They were Un-impressed.
  4. I want to have s**... with McKayla Maroney... But I think she would be unimpressed.

Unimpressed joke, I want to have s**... with McKayla Maroney...

The Funniest Unimpressed Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about unimpressed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean astonished jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unimpressed pranks.

Whales

A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...
He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large h**... on his back.
She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed h**... herself.
Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.
Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.
Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!
He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...
As she swam off she said..."I'll h**..., I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T s**... s**...!

So this drunk guy stumbles up to a police officer

He said, "Officer, someone stole my car!"
The officer in disbelief asked him "Oh yeah where was it last?" The drunk replied "right on the end of this key."
The officer, clearly unimpressed and wanting to move on with his day said to him "Okay buddy, why don't you just take yourself down to the station. They'll have the proper paperwork for you to fill out there. But before you go, zip up your fly." The drunk looked down at his fly, and then back up at the police officer.
"s**..., they got my girl too."

I saw a sign outside IKEA .

It said, "Huge Furniture Sale!"
So I went inside and looked around. Unimpressed, I found a sales assistant. "Your sign outside is misleading."
"What do you mean, sir?" he asked.
"Well," I replied, "None of this furniture on sale is particularly huge."

Three women were bragging about their boyfriends...

The first one proudly declares, my boyfriend is so k**..., he stuck his whole arm inside of me, The second girl shrugs her off and exclaims "that's nothing, my boyfriend once stuck his whole head inside me! The third one seemingly unimpressed states, "thats nothing compared to mine" as she spreads her legs and yells "BABE COME OUT OF THERE"

Rod and Keith, two linguists, are chatting about life...

Rod and Keith, two linguists, are chatting about life when Rod slips in a linguistic pun. Keith is not impressed and points out why the pun was so bad. The conversation continues and Rod tries to deftly insert another pun. Again, without even cracking a smile, Keith starts pointing out all the flaws of the joke. A little while later Rod throws yet another linguistic pun into the conversation, but once again Keith is unimpressed and points out all the erroneous assumptions underlying the pun.
Frustrated, Rod asks Keith "When are you going to stop criticizing my linguistic puns and just let yourself laugh a little?!"
Keith replies "I'll die a critic."

Three generals are having a day off at the beach

The American General begins to boast: "Our submarines are the best in the world! The newest 2016 model can stay weeks under water without having to surface!"
The Russian general is unimpressed and says: "Russian U-boat is best. Months we stay under water and no need to go up!"
The German general is impressed and doesn't know what to say.
Suddenly they see waves appearing a little off the shore and with a splash, a submarine surfaces. The hatch opens and the emerging soldier raises his right arm "Heil h**...! We are out of fuel!"

A girl walks out of a bar...

She's approached by two guys. They tell her to climb a tree, and they'll give her $5. She does it, then goes home to tell her roommate. Her roommate says "They only did it to see your underwear." The next day, the girl goes to the same bar. Again, the two guys ask her to climb the tree for $5. AGAIN, she does it. She goes home to show her roommate the 5$. Unimpressed the roommate says "they tricked you again!?." The girl says "NO, I tricked them, I wasn't wearing any underwear!"

A french guy, an italian guy and an amarican on a plane.....

Among others, there are three guys on a plane. One is french, the other is italian and the third one is american.
The american says: "I bet I can guess where we are without looking outside, just by extend my arm out of the window". The other two go "Well, lets see". So he puts his arm outside the window and sais "we just passed New York". "How do you know?" "Because I touched the Liberty Statue".
The French guy says "I can do this too", stretches out his arm and says "We are in Paris, I just touched the Eiffel Tower".
The italian, unimpressed, puts his left arm outside, gets it back in in a second and says "Well, we are in Naples" The other two are surprised "How do you know? What did you touch?"
And he answers: "Nothing, my watch was just stolen".

Just made this up!

An egg walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender gives him a drink and the egg downs it, seeming unimpressed and says, "bartender, how about another twice as strong! "
the bartender mixes another, stronger drink and gives it to the egg. The egg downs that one just the same, and again asks for a third drink, twice as strong as the last one.
The bartender, now feeling offended pours a tall stiff drink that was certain to wipe the smug look off the egg's mouth.
The egg drank this one in the same confident manner, but then his look soured.
The bartender was glad to see the change in mood, but just then, the egg throws up everything inside of it, all over the bartender.
Now, furious, the bartender starts to jump over the bar and handle business, but the egg stops him and says, "calm down, it's just a yolk! "

A very experienced man...

A man visits a house of ill-repute. He tells the woman, "I've seen everything and done it all. I need an experience I've never had before."
The madam summons a rather plain looking young woman and says, "This is Susan. She's for you."
The man seems unimpressed but resigns himself to the choice.
She takes him to her room, sits him down on the bed, and begins to f**... his manly bits.
After his interest is fully a**..., she pops out a glass eye, and uses her empty eye socket to gratify him.
As he's leaving, he says to the madam, "That was the most amazing experience! Can I come back tomorrow?"
The madams says, "Absolutely--I'll tell Susan to keep an eye out for you."

Unimpressed joke, A very experienced man...