JokoJokes

Unicorn Up Jokes

103 unicorn up jokes and hilarious unicorn up puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unicorn up that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Unicorn Up Short Jokes

Short unicorn up jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unicorn up humour may include short unicorn jokes also.

  1. You're being chased by a Lion, you're on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do? You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.
  2. What is the difference between a unicorn and a carrot? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
  3. What do you call a horse with the horn? A unicorn. What do you call a horse without the horn? A eunuchorn.
  4. A hunter went out on a hunting trip. He took his sons cigarettes by mistake. He had an excellent day. He shot 2 bucks, a boar, a black bear, and a unicorn.
  5. A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar. The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.
  6. what's the difference between a unicorn and a girlfriend? i am 8 times more likely to find a unicorn
  7. Dear Noah Dear Noah,
    We could have sworn you said you were leaving at 4:00.
    Sincerely,
    The Unicorns
  8. Your chances of meeting a unicorn are extremely low. But they are still higher than the chance of you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend
  9. Where do unicorns like to drink? The horn pub!
  10. What do ghosts, China, pansexuals and unicorns have in common? They're all not real

Share These Unicorn Up Jokes With Friends




Unicorn Up One Liners

Which unicorn up one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unicorn up? I can suggest the ones about honeymoon up and pony.

  1. What do you call a unicorn that's had its horn removed. Eunuchorn
  2. My dad is like a unicorn He's never here. :(
  3. The other day my friend told me I was delusional... ...I nearly fell off of my unicorn.
  4. I went to get my unicorn neutered... Now it's a eunuchorn.
    [6]
  5. What do you call a unicorn's dad? Popcorn!
  6. My daughter just made this one up… What do you call a unicorn with two horns? A goat.
  7. Why didn't the narwhal invite the unicorn to his party? He wanted to keep it real
  8. What do you call a castrated unicorn? A eunuchorn.
  9. What is special about unicorns? Their unique horns.
  10. What does a unicorn and my girlfriend have in common? They're both fictional
  11. Noah's diary : Day 39. Unicorn pie is delicious!
  12. Unicorns have the best poker faces.
  13. What do you call a unicorn that had its horn cut off? A eunuchorn!
  14. What has one horn and isn't magic? A dead unicorn.
  15. What's the similarity between a unicorn and a good politician? Neither exist

Unicorn Up Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about unicorn up you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean parrot up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unicorn up pranks.

Q: What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.

Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.

Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.

Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.

There are smart men, handsome men, rich men, s**... men and sweet men and then there is the combination of all. We call that one a "unicorn"

You are so gay your favorite game is leapfrog with unicorns.

A unicorn without t**...

is called a eunuchorn

I'm not high.....

But those Unicorns certainly are.

What does a Native American call a unicorn?

A unimaize.

You are riding a unicorn chasing a rainbow tiger and there is a flying lion behind you. What do you do?

Get off the carousal, you're drunk.

What do you call a bunch of unicorns?

A unicornucopia.

I am a unicorn hunter

You don't see any unicorns around do you?

How do you say unicorn in Spanish?

Unamaize

What do you call a Unicorn with his horn cut off?

a e**...-horn! :D

A PIECE OF ADVICE

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Why can't unicorns play soccer?

Because they don't exist

A guy walks into Starbucks and orders a Frappe with unicorn hair and newt eyes

It was quite the tall order

My girlfriend is like a unicorn

She doesnt exist

What do you call an academic institute concerning vegetables that only offers their services to mythological creatures?

A Unicorn

What do you call a piece of corn all by itself?

A Unicorn.

Dave and John have a conversation

Dave: Are you a v**...
John: I was, until yesterday
Dave: I don't believe you
John: No, seriously, ask your sister
Dave: I don't have a sister
John: You will in 9 months.
*flies away snickering on his magic unicorn*

NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42...

NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42
Dragon steak for lunch, and Unicorn pie for dinner.

I once attended a lecture on psychedelic drugs

It was about punchline expectations. According to the unicorn, anyway.

What does a "Zombie Hunter" and a "Unicorn Hunter" have in common?

Their confirmed kill count.

My dad told me this one: "what do you call a baby unicorn?"

"A unikernel"
Also I've never met my dad.

What do you call a unicorn gelding?

Eunuchorn

What do you call a gelded unicorn?

A e**...-corn

What do you call a horse covered with Maize?

A unicorn!
I'll show myself out.

Why cant unicorns become politicians?

They get straight to the point and can be shown to be true

Why did the Unicorns become extinct?

Because unicorns are gay.

My daughter asked me if she could have the Amazon Prime App for our Apple TV for Christmas.

I said Sorry Sweetheart. I'll get you a Unicorn instead.

A father finds a magic lamp...

and when he rubs it, a genie pops out and offers to grant him anything he wants.
The man asks for a unicorn for his daughter.
The genie says unicorns aren't even real, try to be more realistic.
So the man decides to ask the genie to let the Browns win a single game.
The genie sighs and asks the man what color unicorn his daughter would prefer.

What do you call a unicorn who got a flu shot?

An immunicorn

When I realized Unicorns are not for real, I cried for 13 days. Then my mom brought me a Pegasus. Love you mom.

My Hopes and Dreams are like unicorns.

I stopped believing in unicorns when I was a kid.

A priest, a nun, a giraffe, a telepathic unicorn, 21 pilots, Pennywise the clown, a ninja and Donald Trump walk into a bar. The bartender, struggling to open the champagne, says

...yeah I don't know how I'm going to pull this one off.

What do leprechauns eat on St. Patricks day?

Unicorned Beef

Unicorns are just Mormons in disguise.

They're both white and have a f**... for virgins.

I asked my five year old daughter what she wanted for her birthday and she giggled, "I want unicorns, rainbow and fairies!"

Ok, l**... it is!

What do unicorns call horses?

Acorns.

Whats a unicorn who cant corn?

A student.

I got really annoyed today when someone told me I was delusional.

I was so upset I nearly fell off my unicorn

What happens when a unicorn loses its horn?

He becomes a e**....

How do you make a unicorn cry?

You tell it "Your mother was a HOOORSE!".

Why did the blonde believed coffee turned her into a unicorn?

Because she kept leaving the spoons in the cups.

What did the unicorn say to the other unicorn?

We have been out here in the fields for so long that I can't believe we made it to university corn!

What do you get if you remove the horn from a unicorn?

A e**...

Every time I take l**... some unicorn starts talking to me

This way I'll never start hallucinating

Why did the unicorn cross the road?

To make the rainbow connection!

A quiz just asked me what mythical creature I relate to..

So I chose unicorn because I'm bright, colourful, and nobody believes in me.

The other day, I was questioning the state of my sanity...

... but the unicorn and the gummy bear told me I was okay.

what do you call a unicorn with 2 horns and 2 tails?

bizarre.

Yee haw

A cowboy comes riding into town one day, only hes riding on the horses head. One of the townsfolk ask him as he riding by, "how do you stay on that horse so good"? To which the cowboy replies "its not a horse, its a unicorn"!

(not mine) I hate the Harry Potter franchise, it's too unrealistic.

I mean I'm not saying magic is impossible, everyone on my estate fights with sticks, there may even be the odd unicorn about, but who, has ever seen a ginger kid with two mates ?

Overheard the neighbors kid

You're on a unicorn. Behind you there is a big bear, on one side a roaring lion, on the other side a charging elephant, and in front of you a dragon. How do you get out of this alive?
Get your drunk a**... off the Merrygoround!!!!

Why are giraffes real but unicorns aren't?

What's more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard moose camel with a 40 foot neck?

Two Married Unicorns are Lying in Bed

The husband Unicorn, without looking up from his newspaper, says big storm's a brewin . The wife Unicorn then replies, well then I'm glad we didn't go on that cruise with your whack job friend Noah!

It's the second day on Noah's Ark and all the animals are meeting up with their counterparts.

The unicorns find each other, and the first unicorn introduces himself, saying "Hi, my name's Frank." The second unicorn says "Hi Frank, I'm j**...!" The unicorns in unison say "Oh s**......"

Why do horses love unicorns so much?

Because they're always h**...!

I love my pet unicorn

He comes to support me whenever I regret taking my l**....

Adam was returning home late one night at paradise after drinking with the dodo and the unicorn.

Eve got angry and yelled at him: "YOU ARE SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN!"
Adam responded: "Don't be silly, you are the only woman on earth", and went to sleep.
Later that night Adam woke up, feeling a tickle in his chest and saw it was Eve.
"What the heck are you doing?" he asked
"I'm counting your ribs," she responded.

I asked my 5 year old daughter what she wanted for her birthday?

She said, she wanted unicorns,fairies and rainbows.
l**... it is then.