Unicorn Up Jokes
103 unicorn up jokes and hilarious unicorn up puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unicorn up that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Unicorn Up Short Jokes
Short unicorn up jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unicorn up humour may include short unicorn jokes also.
- You're being chased by a Lion, you're on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do? You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.
- What is the difference between a unicorn and a carrot? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
- A hunter went out on a hunting trip. He took his sons cigarettes by mistake. He had an excellent day. He shot 2 bucks, a boar, a black bear, and a unicorn.
- A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar. The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.
- what's the difference between a unicorn and a girlfriend? i am 8 times more likely to find a unicorn
- Dear Noah Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said you were leaving at 4:00.
Sincerely,
The Unicorns - Your chances of meeting a unicorn are extremely low. But they are still higher than the chance of you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend
- What do unicorns call horses? Acorns.
- I'm not high..... But those Unicorns certainly are.
- The other day, I was questioning the state of my sanity... ... but the unicorn and the gummy bear told me I was okay.
Share These Unicorn Up Jokes With Friends
Unicorn Up One Liners
Which unicorn up one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unicorn up? I can suggest the ones about honeymoon up and pony.
- What do you call a unicorn that's had its horn removed. Eunuchorn
- My dad is like a unicorn He's never here. :(
- The other day my friend told me I was delusional... ...I nearly fell off of my unicorn.
- I went to get my unicorn neutered... Now it's a eunuchorn.
[6] - What do you call a unicorn's dad? Popcorn!
- My daughter just made this one up… What do you call a unicorn with two horns? A goat.
- Why didn't the narwhal invite the unicorn to his party? He wanted to keep it real
- What is special about unicorns? Their unique horns.
- What does a unicorn and my girlfriend have in common? They're both fictional
- Noah's diary : Day 39. Unicorn pie is delicious!
- Unicorns have the best poker faces.
- What has one horn and isn't magic? A dead unicorn.
- What's the similarity between a unicorn and a good politician? Neither exist
- Where do unicorns like to drink? The horn pub!
- What do ghosts, China, pansexuals and unicorns have in common? They're all not real
Unicorn Up Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about unicorn up you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean parrot up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unicorn up pranks.
Q: What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are smart men, handsome men, rich men, s**... men and sweet men and then there is the combination of all. We call that one a "unicorn"
How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?
Put it in the back yard.
What do you call a gay rhinoceros?
Scooter the unicorn.
You saw a Black Republican?
That's like, seeing a unicorn.
What are unicorns who want better working enviroments for their fellow employees?
Unioncorns.
What does a Native American call a unicorn?
A unimaize.
How do you call a corn that is unique?
A unicorn.
Q: What do you call it when an honest politician rides a unicorn to victory in the Kentucky Derby? A: A Fairy Tale, there is no such thing as an honest politician
What do you call a bunch of unicorns?
A unicornucopia.
I am a unicorn hunter
You don't see any unicorns around do you?
How do you say unicorn in Spanish?
Unamaize
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can Unicorns only be ridden by a adult female v**...?
They're both imaginary
A PIECE OF ADVICE
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Why can't unicorns play soccer?
Because they don't exist
What is Jesus's favourite animal?
A unicorn.
A guy walks into Starbucks and orders a Frappe with unicorn hair and newt eyes
It was quite the tall order
My girlfriend is like a unicorn
She doesnt exist
What do you call an academic institute concerning vegetables that only offers their services to mythological creatures?
A Unicorn
What do you call a piece of corn all by itself?
A Unicorn.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dave and John have a conversation
Dave: Are you a v**...
John: I was, until yesterday
Dave: I don't believe you
John: No, seriously, ask your sister
Dave: I don't have a sister
John: You will in 9 months.
*flies away snickering on his magic unicorn*
I once attended a lecture on psychedelic drugs
It was about punchline expectations. According to the unicorn, anyway.
What does a "Zombie Hunter" and a "Unicorn Hunter" have in common?
Their confirmed kill count.
My dad told me this one: "what do you call a baby unicorn?"
"A unikernel"
Also I've never met my dad.
What do you call a horse covered with Maize?
A unicorn!
I'll show myself out.
What do unicorns and the wage gap have in common
They're both made up.
Why cant unicorns become politicians?
They get straight to the point and can be shown to be true
My daughter asked me if she could have the Amazon Prime App for our Apple TV for Christmas.
I said Sorry Sweetheart. I'll get you a Unicorn instead.
A father finds a magic lamp...
and when he rubs it, a genie pops out and offers to grant him anything he wants.
The man asks for a unicorn for his daughter.
The genie says unicorns aren't even real, try to be more realistic.
So the man decides to ask the genie to let the Browns win a single game.
The genie sighs and asks the man what color unicorn his daughter would prefer.
What is a mythical creature's favorite vegetable?
Unicorn
What do you call a unicorn who got a flu shot?
An immunicorn
When I realized Unicorns are not for real, I cried for 13 days. Then my mom brought me a Pegasus. Love you mom.
My Hopes and Dreams are like unicorns.
I stopped believing in unicorns when I was a kid.
What do you call a heard of Unicorns?
An antler.
A priest, a nun, a giraffe, a telepathic unicorn, 21 pilots, Pennywise the clown, a ninja and Donald Trump walk into a bar. The bartender, struggling to open the champagne, says
...yeah I don't know how I'm going to pull this one off.
What do leprechauns eat on St. Patricks day?
Unicorned Beef
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Unicorns are just Mormons in disguise.
They're both white and have a f**... for virgins.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my five year old daughter what she wanted for her birthday and she giggled, "I want unicorns, rainbow and fairies!"
Ok, l**... it is!
Whats a unicorn who cant corn?
A student.
What's the difference between a unicorn and a girlfriend?
Both seem like they don't exist, but you might find one of them if you search long and hard enough.
The other is a girlfriend.
How do you count Unicorns?
Using imaginary numbers
I was gonna make a joke about unicorns.
It probably would be to corny (I'm not funny)
So a girl told santa what she wanted for christmas
Santa:what do you want for Christmas?
Girl:I want a unicorn
Santa:be realistic
Girl:I want a boyfriend
Santa:what color do you want your unicorn?
I got really annoyed today when someone told me I was delusional.
I was so upset I nearly fell off my unicorn
How do you make a unicorn cry?
You tell it "Your mother was a HOOORSE!".
Why did the blonde believed coffee turned her into a unicorn?
Because she kept leaving the spoons in the cups.
What did the unicorn say to the other unicorn?
We have been out here in the fields for so long that I can't believe we made it to university corn!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every time I take l**... some unicorn starts talking to me
This way I'll never start hallucinating
Why did the unicorn cross the road?
To make the rainbow connection!
A quiz just asked me what mythical creature I relate to..
So I chose unicorn because I'm bright, colourful, and nobody believes in me.
what do you call a unicorn with 2 horns and 2 tails?
bizarre.
Yee haw
A cowboy comes riding into town one day, only hes riding on the horses head. One of the townsfolk ask him as he riding by, "how do you stay on that horse so good"? To which the cowboy replies "its not a horse, its a unicorn"!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Overheard the neighbors kid
You're on a unicorn. Behind you there is a big bear, on one side a roaring lion, on the other side a charging elephant, and in front of you a dragon. How do you get out of this alive?
Get your drunk a**... off the Merrygoround!!!!
Why are giraffes real but unicorns aren't?
What's more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard moose camel with a 40 foot neck?
Two Married Unicorns are Lying in Bed
The husband Unicorn, without looking up from his newspaper, says big storm's a brewin . The wife Unicorn then replies, well then I'm glad we didn't go on that cruise with your whack job friend Noah!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's the second day on Noah's Ark and all the animals are meeting up with their counterparts.
The unicorns find each other, and the first unicorn introduces himself, saying "Hi, my name's Frank." The second unicorn says "Hi Frank, I'm j**...!" The unicorns in unison say "Oh s**......"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do horses love unicorns so much?
Because they're always h**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I love my pet unicorn
He comes to support me whenever I regret taking my l**....
Adam was returning home late one night at paradise after drinking with the dodo and the unicorn.
Eve got angry and yelled at him: "YOU ARE SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN!"
Adam responded: "Don't be silly, you are the only woman on earth", and went to sleep.
Later that night Adam woke up, feeling a tickle in his chest and saw it was Eve.
"What the heck are you doing?" he asked
"I'm counting your ribs," she responded.