Uni Jokes
25 uni jokes and hilarious uni puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about uni that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Getting an A in Humor 101! Get ready to laugh at the funniest jokes about university life, from Oxford and Durham uni to labs and dorms. Whether you're a current student or just thinking about getting a uni degree, these jokes will have you in stitches!
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Funniest Uni Short Jokes
Short uni jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The uni humour may include short univ jokes also.
- I went to uni to study aggriculture and cummunication of sheep. I left with a BAA. Shortly after i started a nationwide census of sheep but fell asleep halfway thru.
- This bloke at uni today told me he had 90 degrees... I said 90 degrees how is that even possible? He said you just need to look at uni from the right angle
- My uni just started an acting troupe called the Footbridge It's like the Footlights, but more pedestrian.
- Last year I founded a Anxiety Society at uni It ended after the first week when no one showed up
- I recently joined an online message board for college students. Only because I heard girls like men in uni-forums.
- The Saudi Society at my uni had a social.... It must have been fun as half my journalism class haven't been back since
- Did you hear about the clown who was forced to retire? He's flat broke after doing uni on line.
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Uni One Liners
Which uni one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with uni? I can suggest the ones about student and lecturer.
- What's the opposite of diversity? Uni-versity
- After just starting uni, I have decided I don't like referencing. I don't like it et al.
- What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use? Uni-ball
- What do uni students and gay Mexicans have in common? They both do their essays.
- When Frida Kahlo went to university, she made a friend. He was her uni bro.
- What's the most magical grain for college students? Uni corn
- My dad is so good on his bike that... He can wheelie on a uni-cycle.
- What's the most educated vegetable? Uni-corn!
- TED TALK Great when put in front of a uni, not so much when you put a uni in front of it.
- What is comedian and former MTV show host Tom Green's favorite brand of pen? Uni-Ball
Comical Uni Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about uni you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean university jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make uni pranks.
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job...
...advertised in the Manchester Evening News. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand pounds. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."
Three Universities ...
Three Universities all done research into why a mans bell end is shaped the way it is.
Oxford Uni spent £100,000 in 6 months and came to the conclusion it is for the pleasure of the woman.
Cambridge Uni spent £250,000 in 18 months and came to the conclusion its for the pleasure of the man.
Dublin Uni spent 50 pence in 5 minutes and came to the conclusion its to stop your hand flying off the end.
As an Australian student coming to America to study, I found it hard to get through customs...
"G'day, I'm here to study at uni."
"Which university are you going to, son?
"Yale, mate"
"I SAID WHICH UNIVERSITY ARE YOU GOING TO, SON?!?!"
Paid to worry
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."