Unfortunate Jokes
84 unfortunate jokes and hilarious unfortunate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unfortunate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Unfortunate Short Jokes
Short unfortunate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unfortunate humour may include short unlucky jokes also.
- It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries. Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
- My mother and father found each other in a gay bar of all places.... 24 years in to their marriage unfortunately
- I went to the doctors yesterday and unfortunately he told me i lost 20% of my sight Sigh...
- 62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville". Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.
- My grandfather died because the medical report said he had Type A blood. Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
- I went to my first Fight Club meeting last night Unfortunately I arrived 10 minutes late so I missed the introductions but I must say I had a fantastic time I'd recommend it to everyone.
- My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid. Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
- I told my son he couldn't get a fidget spinner because his dad and I have tried so hard to make sure he didn't become autistic... Unfortunately he died of measles a couple days ago
- I entered a my pet snail into a race and removed its shell thinking it would make it faster... Unfortunately, it only made it more sluggish.
- I ran over 2 Miles yesterday Such a coincidence that both unfortunate fellas had the same name.
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Unfortunate One Liners
Which unfortunate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unfortunate? I can suggest the ones about sadly and hopeless.
- I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately it doesn't have a home page.
- I met an Anti-Vaxxer today... Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
- My girlfriend poked me in the eyes... So unfortunately I stopped seeing her for a while.
- I was going to tell you all a joke about time travel. Unfortunately none of you liked it.
- Unfortunately I lost my korean friend the other day. So Yung.
- I got gas today for $1.57 Unfortunately, it was at Taco bell…
- There is a band called 1023MB Unfortunately, they haven't had any gigs yet.
- I lost fifty pounds... Unfortunately, I was in England at the time.
- A man walks into a bear The bear says "unfortunate typo" and eats him
- I got gas today for a $1.39 Unfortunately it was from TacoBell
- I have a joke about pizza and a broken pencil unfortunately it's cheesy and pointless
- Perfect girls are found at every corner on the Earth. Unfortunately the Earth is round.
- I know a lot of unemployment jokes... Unfortunately, none of them work.
- I didn't choose the 4.0 GPA life.... Unfortunately it didn't choose me either :|
- There's a new movie called 'constipation' Unfortunately it hasn't come out yet.
Share Hilarious Unfortunate Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about unfortunate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean accidental jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unfortunate pranks.
An apple
A sudden desert storm had made a traveler lost his direction. The only thing he had was an apple. It was so precious, whenever he was thirsty or hungry, he would only look at the apple, then he would walk again full of hope.
Unfortunately, he still died in the desert. It was written on the police report: He would have walked out of the desert if he had had a Samsung or Nokia.
For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid.
Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
My Dad died recently, but unfortunately I slept in and missed the f**...
I guess I'm not a mourning person
Racing snail.
My racing snail hadn't been out for a while, so i took his shell off to make him more streamlined. Unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.
A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street
A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street and gets hit by a red lorry, a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.
A policeman is despatched to inform the unfortunate man's family:
"There's no easy way to say this..."
I was dating a girl with a lazy eye.
Unfortunately I had to break up with her because she was seeing someone else on the side.
I recently came into a HUGE amount of money.
Unfortunately, though, I'm barred from future tours of the Mint.
Studies show there is actually intelligent DNA in women.
But unfortunately most of them spit it out.
News has just come in that The mars Rover has discovered a member of the feline species while exploring.
Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat.
"When one door closes, another opens", he said.
"That's all well and good", I replied, "but until you fix it I'm not buying the car."
Unfortunately, the site I got this joke from many months ago is now down so I can't give them the credit it deserve. But here's a different site with it anyway...
Christmas always s**... when I was a kid...
I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.
I took the bus home when I was drunk yesterday
Unfortunately they made me give it back today
My friends and I used to love a good game of Russian Roulette.
Unfortunately, they're a bunch of sore losers and won't play it with me anymore.
So, I just tried a new drinking game.
I put in the Bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.
Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed.
[WP] You are an assassin in WWII trying to find a German defector on a U-boat. Unfortunately you got a little lost on the dock...
Whoops, wrong sub.
My favourite joke ever
So a woman is in the hospital, having just given birth to twins. The midwife appears at her side and gravely says that she has some good news and some bad news. The woman asks for her to get the bad news out of the way. "Well," the midwife says, "unfortunately one of the children is ginger".
The Mother laughs and says, "Well then, whats the good news?"
"Its dead", the midwife says.
Wife: "You need to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events"
Me: "okay, I'll get out the wedding video"
My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfortunately, the alien didn't laugh.
Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.
I took the shell off my racing snail, hoping it would make him faster.
But, unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.
Did you hear the news that Trump's personal library burnt down?
Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.
Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.
I went to my first Fight Club last week.
I was unfortunately late to it and so I missed the rules. But I had a great time at Fight Club, and I would strongly recommend Fight Club to everyone.
I went to a hotel that had continental breakfast
Unfortunately the continent was Africa so all I got was an empty plate
They found a cat on mars...
A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring
The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it every day.
I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
At 98 years old, my grandfather had the body of a 27 year old.
Unfortunately, the police found it.
I remember 30 years ago with a dollar you went to the supermarket and went out with 2 sandwiches, 1 box of 6 beers and a pack of cigars.
Today, unfortunately, there are cameras everywhere.
A man takes his wife to get tested
Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.
Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it.
A jewish woman goes to the hospital to give birth to her son.
Unfortunately the baby boy is born without eyelids.
The jewish woman is hysterical and says: Doctor, doctor what am i going to do? My baby boy has no eyelids!
The doctor calmly replies: Missus Levine, don't worry your son is going to be circumcised so we can do a transplant and give him eyelids.
Missus Levine says: Doctor, doctor but I don't want a son that's gonna be cockeyed!
Doctor replies: But Missus Levine imagine what foresight he'll have!
My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance
I was sitting opposite to a stunning thai girl in the train
saying to myself "please don't get an e**..., please don't get an e**...!".
Unfortunately, she did.
Not to brag, but I did a lot of experiments with s**... and drugs when I was in high school.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
I just opened up a fortune cookie and there wasn't a fortune inside.
I thought to myself, that's unfortunate. -True story
A woman just gave birth to a baby boy. Unfortunately....
The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the f**... to make him new eyelids." The father says," Won't that make him c**...-eyed." The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight"
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it all the time to show how much it meant to me.
One day, I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately they told me that my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
A Soviet archeology team is in Egypt on an expedition
They come across a pyramid and inside it is a mummy. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.
"The mummy is Amenhotep XIII" says one of the NKVD goons.
"How did you find out?" asks one of the archeologists.
"He admitted it", replies the NKVD goon.
How many Redditors does it take to tell one joke?
Just one. Unfortunately, they don't know this.
My son told me his fortune cookie didn't have a fortune…
Naturally I replied: That's unfortunate.
My circus hired what has to be the world's worst human cannon ball.
Unfortunately he's unionised so we can't even fire him.
Did you know that William Shatner once tried to start up his own line of l**... for women?
Unfortunately for him, Shatner p**... was a terrible brand name.
My Grandfather built me a car entirely out of wood
It had wooden seats, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden floors and a wooden engine. Unfortunately when I tried to start it, it wooden work.
I took some days off from work to break my personal sleep record.
Unfortunately my family has not been supportive of my "dreams".
Two Eskimos sitting in a Kayak were getting cold, so they decided to light a fire, unfortunately it sunk the boat.
Proving once and for all that you can't have your Kayak and heat it
Ive been looking all day for a good carpentry pun.
Unfortunately, nothing I saw wood work.
My daughter asked why I drink so much beer
I told her it's because I actually have a condition that's pretty unfortunate. You see, my body is actually not capable of producing its own alcohol.
