Unfaithful Jokes

44 unfaithful jokes and hilarious unfaithful puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unfaithful that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article offers a look at unfaithful jokes and the message they send about faithfulness in relationships. From jokes about a dishonest wife to those regarding untruthful behavior, these jokes address the complexities of dishonesty in relationships. Read on for insight into how jokes can lighten the mood while sending a serious message.

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Funniest Unfaithful Short Jokes

Short unfaithful jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unfaithful humour may include short infidel jokes also.

  1. Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful. I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
  2. A wife was dying. A wife was dying. She called her husband and said, "Gary, I've been unfaithful."
    Gary answered, "I know. That's why I poisoned you."
  3. I caught my husband going to a brothel and I'm not sure what to do now. On the one hand he is unfaithful, but on the other hand it was nice that he visited me at work.
  4. Apparently 1/3 of people in a relationship are unfaithful I've just gotta figure out if it's my wife or my girlfriend
  5. My girlfriend dreamed... Yesterday my girlfriend dreamed that I was unfaithful, so I cheated on her because I want to fulfill all of her dreams.
  6. They say that 1 out of every 3 people in a serious relationship will be unfaithful at some point. Now I've just got to figure out if it's my wife or my girlfriend.
  7. Study shows 1 out of 3 people are unfaithful to their partner. I wonder if it's my girlfriend or my wife...
  8. I've been thinking recently that unfaithful women are condemned way beyond proportion. Begone, thought.
  9. 1 out of 3 people (Oops) I read that ONE out of three people in a relationship, were unfaithful.
    I'm trying to determine if it's my WIFE or my MISTRESS.
  10. They say 1 in 3 people are unfaithful to their partner. Hmm, I wonder which one is unfaithful... my girlfriend or my wife?

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Unfaithful One Liners

Which unfaithful one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unfaithful? I can suggest the ones about dishonest and betrayed.

  1. What do you call an unfaithful feline? A cheetah.
  2. I have been wondering for a long time, what unfaithful women eat. Food for thot.
  3. What do you call an unfaithful pirate? A swashcuckler.
  4. Why did the unfaithful Arabic woman cross the road? To get to the other Sayid.
  5. What did the unfaithful cowboy gunslinger call his mistress? "Side Piece"
  6. How do you call a large unfaithful cat? A cheetah
  7. Why are raisins so unfaithful? They're always having currant affairs
  8. What do you call an aging chef with an unfaithful wife? A cookold.
  9. What did Miss Piggy's boyfriend do after he found out she was unfaithful? Kermit s**....
  10. Did you hear about the unfaithful hippie? She was s**... to death.

Unfaithful Wife Jokes

Here is a list of funny unfaithful wife jokes and even better unfaithful wife puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • In a maternity ward, a new father is worried that his wife might have been unfaithful... "Do you think he even looks like me?" he asks the nurse.
    "Yeah, but it's OK. At least he's healthy."
  • an unfaithful man what does an unfaithful man say to his wife after having s**...?
    I'll be home in half an hour.
Unfaithful joke, an unfaithful man

Cheeky Unfaithful Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about unfaithful you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cheater jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unfaithful pranks.

My partner was afraid that I was cheating, which I wasn't.

She came to me one evening, very serious. I knew something was going on. She asked, in that tone that instantly puts a lump in your t**..., I suspect you've been unfaithful. Do you have a sec to talk?
I wanted her to know she has my full attention, so I replied, I have a lot of secs!
I still can't figure out why she walked out.

A husband in the hospital is on his deathbed. He confesses to his wife...

Darling, my life is slipping away I want you to know that I've been unfaithful to you with 3 other women.
His wife holds his hand comfortingly and whispers, I Know. That's why I poisoned you.

A knight was about to ride off into battle.

Afraid that his wife would be unfaithful, he fitted her with a chastity belt. He gave the key to his best friend, telling him that he was the only person he could trust.
The knight rode off, and an hour later he heard the sound of galloping hoofbeats behind him. His friend rode up next to him.
"I'm glad I caught you," said the friend. "You gave me the wrong key."

My mom really only sends the classiest of FWDs

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her.
So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife, and he says,
"Oh, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I did on the pool table with all my buddies
watching while your partner whipped me with wet celery?"
The woman looks sternly into his eyes and says very calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

Two guys died in a car c**......

There were these two friends, who died in a horrible car accident. They both went to heaven and were standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter met them. St. Peter asked the first man for a picture of his wife. After looking at the picture, St. Peter asked him if he had ever cheated on her. The man replied, "I was unfaithful to my wife one time." St. Peter decided to give the man a station-wagon for him to drive around heaven. Now it was the second man's turn. St. Peter asked him for a picture of his wife and then asked if he had ever cheated on her. The man replied,"here's a picture of my wife, and I never cheated on her." St. Peter was very impressed and decided to give the man a Ferrari to drive around heaven. After a few months in heaven, the two friends met up with each other. The second man was bragging about his Ferrari when the other turned to him and said, "I wouldn't be bragging if I were you. I just saw your wife on a skateboard."

A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket...

...when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says sorry do you know me?
She replies I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?
No , she replies, I'm your son's English Teacher


A couple were married for 25yrs. One day while cleaning their room, she finds a box hidden inside his closet and decides to open it with the thought that her husband is keeping a secret to her. In the box she finds 3 eggs and 10 grand.
This seems very strange so she went to him and asks:
"Why are there 3 eggs in a box in your closet?"
"Well, dear," the husband replies, "everytime I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box."
She's hurt that he had been unfaithful but consoles herself with the fact that they have been married for 25yrs and he had only been unfaithful 3 times.
Wife asks: "Where did the 10 grand come from?"
With head bowed down he answers: "Everytime it reaches a dozen, I sell them!"


A man is talking to his friend "I think my wife is being
unfaithful to me. And I think she's going out with a tennis
The friend asks "Tennis player? Why?"
"Because", answers the other, "I found a racquet under our bed".
The friend thinks for some seconds and says "Gee, I think then
my wife is being unfaithful to me with a horse".
"A horse?? How come? Why??"
"Because I found a jockey under our bed."

The coach discovers he is going to die in a week

He tells his wife: I want to clear my conscience. I have been unfaithful to you, only once, with your sister.
She says: That's okay. I too have been unfaithful to you, only once, with the football team.

A man goes to the therapist and says...

"Doctor, you got to help me. My wife is unfaithful to me. Every night, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up a man. She sleeps with anybody who asks her. I can't take this anymore!"
The therapist says: "Relax. Take a deep breath, sit down, and tell me exactly: where's Larry's bar?"

I told my girlfriend I was unfaithful

My girlfriend found blonde hair on the passenger seat of my car, so I had to say that I was cheating on her.
How embarrassing would it be if she knew I sold corn on the freeway?


After having died, a couple souls flied to the heaven gate, St.Pierre opened the door and informed that for one time of unfaithfulness to each other in their life they will be prod by a needle.
After being prod 5 times, the wife turned to ST.Poerre and asked:
Where is my husband?
He is lying on the sewing-machine table St.Pierre replied.

Final words

A man is holding his wife's hand as shes lying on her death-bed.
"j**... , I have something to tell you before I pass on," she whispers."
"No, no, dear," says j**.... "Everything is forgiven now. All is well."
"No j**..." she mumbles." I've been carrying this load for years now, and I must tell you. I... I've been unfaithful to you. I slept with your best friend, Phil. I'm so terribly sorry."
"Yes,dear I know," Says j**.... "Why do you think I poisoned you?"

Juno and Jupiter Sitting in Space

jupiter's moons were named after the Roman god's mistresses and this week NASA sent a spacecraft named after his wife, Juno, to observe the planet. If they find evidence that Jupiter has been unfaithful, the next thing NASA will be sending is a Death Star.

Unfaithful joke, In a maternity ward, a new father is worried that his wife might have been unfaithful...