Under The Sea Jokes
57 under the sea jokes and hilarious under the sea puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about under the sea that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Under The Sea Short Jokes
Short under the sea jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The under the sea humour may include short underwater jokes also.
- Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Thank god I live in Canada
- This girl I met on Tinder had a tattoo of a seashell on her innerthigh If you put your ear against it and listened closely, you could smell the sea.
- My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her thigh Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea.
- Dating is a lot like fishing Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
- I once met a girl with a tattoo of a conch on her inner thigh When I put my ear to it I could smell the sea
- A guy walking to library and asks for a book on sea turtles. The librarian asks "hard back?"
The guy replies "yeah little heads too." - With relationships, they say there's plenty of fish in the sea... But I'm just stuck here holding my rod
- I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda. When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
- When my grandfather died we scattered his remains in the sea Everyone on the beach panicked because we didn't cremate him...
- I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice. Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
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Under The Sea One Liners
Which under the sea one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with under the sea? I can suggest the ones about deep sea and middle of the ocean.
- What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA? You get kicked out of sea world…
- Did you know that iceland... ...is only one sea away from Ireland?
- Why does Aeriel always wear Sea Shells? Because D shell were too big
- Sometimes I feel like a seal is just a neutral sea lion Neutral
As in
Without an ion - What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's lost at sea? Bob.
- what is the difference between a seal and a sea lion? An electron.
- How do you turn a seal into a sea lion? Remove an electron.
- I dream of one day swimming in an ocean of orange carbonated water It's my Fanta sea.
- Why do mermaids wear sea shells? B shells aren't big enough.
- When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee.. ..That's a moray..
- How does a pirate greet a sea monster? What's Kraken?
- Last night I dreamed the oceans were made of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
- I used to think an ocean of soda existed. Turns out it was just Fanta sea.
- What do sea monsters like to eat? Fish and ships
- How do mermaids give birth? A sea section.
Howlingly Hilarious Under The Sea Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about under the sea you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean submarine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make under the sea pranks.
"Leagues" in "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" refers to horizontal distance, not depth.
Otherwise it would be called "Journey to the Center of the Earth."
*RANT TIME* Please can we stop with the flashing blue outdoor Christmas lights this year ?
Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the w**..., fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the machete under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
Finally they named the book about the Titan Submarine.
20,000 Leaks Under the Sea
A farmer and his new bride
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, "That's once."
A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer said, "That's twice."
After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."
The farmer said, "That's once." ( had to repost,missed the first half the first time.)
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Madeleine McCann
TIL that Jules Verne did not write Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea
He wrote at a desk like a sensible person would.
What lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Malaysia flight 370
I Hate My Life
I hate my life. I'm 22 and work at a fast food restaurant where my coworker hates me with a burning passion.
I'm extremely underpaid and if I ask for a raise my boss will kill me. I hate my town and the people in it. But I can't leave because I don't have a license.
And do you want to hear the worst part?
I live in a pineapple under the sea.
What font do they use under the sea?
Ariel
I just met the most poor guy on this planet
He is the most hated person in his city despite being a nice guy, his boss pays him almost no money, his best friend is a total idiot, the only girl that talks to him lives in her own bubble, and the worst:
He lives in a pineapple under the sea.....
A cargo ship carrying a shipment of mannequins sunk to the ocean floor
It was one thousand legs under the sea.
Shoutout to the ex-mobster who, through witness protection, was relocated in a house under the sea.
Rest easy, you're sleeping with the fishes now.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Bacteria
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
No one, they don't grow underwater and don't act as houses.
Do you know what Disney song is really deep?
Under The Sea.
It would make sense if Spongebob was homeless in real life
Because who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
A divers reached 300 meters under the sea
Diver : the pressure here is immense
Fish : all the cool kids take drugs
Diver : all the cool kids you say?
A man is scouring through his house
He's looking under his couch. He couldn't find it. He looks in his bedroom draws and under his bed. Still couldn't find it. He checks his car, front and back. He looks under the seats and no matter how hard he tries but he still can't find it. He looks through the bathroom and even in his wife's purse and still no luck finding it. His wife wakes up due to all of the noise. She says, "Honey, what are you looking for?" He responds "The punchline to this joke!"
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Failing students who like pineapple.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Bin Laden
I just read Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
It sure is a story with a lot of depth.
What do you call 20,000 lawyers under the sea?
A good start.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Gary
What is Kim Wall's favorite book?
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
What does the man under the sea smoke?
Seaweed.
Someone said that his friend passed away by drowning. He also said that he would be watching over him.
I shout out, "Lies! His friend would be watching under him. Under the Sea."
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, "That's once."A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice."After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."The farmer said, "That's once."
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Nobody cause they would drown
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Houston, Texas.
What do you call 1,000 Cubans under the sea?
Good immigration policy.
Why is Under the Sea a sexist song?
Because 'it's always better down where it's wetter'...
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Jack Dawson.
God's omnipresence
God's omnipresence means that He too lives in a pineapple under the sea.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Spongebob Squarepants
POLICE ROADBLOCK
Two r**..., Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a po-lice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?" asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No sir," Earl said. "We're on the patch."
Beer-o-derm
One day, two r**... named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds.
The passenger, Bubba, said, "Looky thar up ahead Earl. It's a po-leece roadblock.
We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!"
"Don't worry Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talking, okay?" said Earl.
They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Have you boys been drinking?"
"No sir." said Earl. "We're on the patch."
What is Rick Grimes' favorite thing under the sea?
CORALL!
Where's Malaysian Airlines?
In a pineapple under the sea
In light of today's events in Toronto
A lady gets on a plane and realizes that she's been seated next to an Arab man in traditional attire. She watches him cautiously during the entire flight.
When the plane lands, he gets out before her, but leaves his briefcase under the seat in front of him. Noticing this, she grabs it and follows him, handing him the briefcase!
"You almost forgot this!", she said.
The man looks at her and says, "Thank you for this, miss. As a token of my appreciation, I have some advice for you, "Stay away from Toronto."
She replied, "Why? Is there going to be an attack there?"
"No", he said. "Their mayor's a crackhead."
DirecTV/Spongebob Joke
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
I don't know I have DirecTV.
I don't always say "who lives in a pineapple under the sea", but when I do...
I can't hear you!
Two r**..., Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!!
We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
