Uncomfortable Jokes
114 uncomfortable jokes and hilarious uncomfortable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about uncomfortable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find out why some jokes make you feel queasy and uncomfortable. Learn why some jokes can make you feel troubled and why comfortability is important in jokes. Discover the most uncomfortable jokes and why they may not be the best to tell.
Quick Jump To
- Short Uncomfortable Jokes
- Uncomfortable One Liners
- Most Uncomfortable Jokes
- More Uncomfortable Jokes
Funniest Uncomfortable Short Jokes
Short uncomfortable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The uncomfortable humour may include short unpleasant jokes also.
- Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
- My friend told me I make him feel uncomfortable because I violate his personal space... It was a very hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.
- My daughter's skirt was getting a lot of attention as I walked her to the school gates, which made me very uncomfortable. To be honest, I thought it suited me.
- One of my friends told me I make people uncomfortable by often invading people's personal space I found this really hurtful, it completely ruined our bath
- My friend said that I make people uncomfortable by invading their personal space. It was a very hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
- What Ricky Gervais said after taking some digs at fat people at a show "I don't want fat people to feel uncomfortable at my gigs. So next time, buy two seats"
- As get older, I've developed an embarrassing habit of screaming loudly during a proctology exam. It makes my patients extremely uncomfortable.
- A blonde went to buy new shoes The shopkeeper told her the new shoes may feel a bit uncomfortable in the first couple of days.
She said : Alright I'll start wearing them on the third day. - So there I was hard at work Then all of a sudden my boss tells me to step out of the meeting because I was making my colleagues uncomfortable
- My boss won't stop flirting with me, it's making me feel really uncomfortable. Mainly because we're a family run business.
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Uncomfortable One Liners
Which uncomfortable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with uncomfortable? I can suggest the ones about inconvenient and uneasy.
- I can tell how uncomfortable a person is... ...just by hugging them for 18 minutes.
- Things that make me feel uncomfortable 1. Incomplete Lists
2. - The postman said he'd hold my package till I got home... it was an uncomfortable walk.
- My friend William joined the army He is uncomfortable with the phrase "Fire at Will"
- What's comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time..... A public toilet seat.
- Shoelaces are like women. If you do them too tight it's uncomfortable.
- I hate crocs They're super uncomfortable. Especially when you're riding on their back.
- Ginger's shoes must be real uncomfortable because they don't have soles
- I heard that a crucifix is very uncomfortable But I tried one, and it fit me to a t.
- France I bought uncomfortable hiking shoes in France, they were Toulouse
- Why does 7 and 8 feel very uncomfortable? Because they're stuck between a 69.
- Doctor's Office Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have an uncomfortable
Bladder issue - What is the most uncomfortable place in the veterinary hospital? The Auk Ward.
- I'm uncomfortable with abortion. It gives me cramps.
- It's uncomfortable being around croatia's national team's players They ić.
Most Uncomfortable Jokes
Here is a list of funny most uncomfortable jokes and even better most uncomfortable puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- This morning for breakfast, I made a Belgian waffle. For lunch, I'm planning to make a dutch person uncomfortable.
- Why aren't there many pictures of the Sphinx from the back? People get uncomfortable taking pictures of its sphinxter
- A father was decorating the Christmas tree with his son. The boy says: "Dad can't we use tinsel like everyone else? This is really uncomfortable."
- I got beat up at a black lives matter rally for complaining about my underwear These knickers where just making me so uncomfortable
- Genders are like the Twin Towers There used to be two of them, and now it's a really uncomfortable topic.
- John: Doctor I heard you can get AIDS in the public toilets. Is this true? Doctor: I mean... yeah, but it's uncomfortable.
- Yesterday, one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say, and quite frankly, it completely ruined our bath.
- All day I have been looking forward to stripping off my wife's clothes They are way too small for me to wear and it's uncomfortable
- I was told to get out of my comfort zone So I started driving on the other side of the road
Not only I'm I uncomfortable, but so is everybody else - I got so mad at these uncomfortable wooden shoes that I tried to flush them down the toilet. Worst clog ever.
Fun-Filled Uncomfortable Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about uncomfortable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean awkward jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make uncomfortable pranks.
Doctor: You should stop m**...
Me: Why doc? Is there something wrong?
Doctor: It's making me really uncomfortable
A haggard old woman walks into a bar.
She's holding a paper bag. She climbs up on the bar and holds up the bag.
"Any of you guys guess what's in this bag gets some tail!"
There's an uncomfortable silence until a smartass in the back yells "Yeah! Is it an elephant?"
"Close enough, let's go."
Blind pilots
A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.
As the plane begins to accelerate, the passengers see the end of the runway rapidly approaching, with certain doom awaiting at the end if the pilots really can't see what they're doing. Just before the end of the runway, all the passengers scream together--right before the plane lifts off. They're a little upset, but relieved that the pilots aren't really blind.
In the cockpit, the pilot turned to his copilot and remarked: "you know, Lou, one of these days they're not going to scream in time, and then we'll be in real trouble!"
A guy is f**... his girlfriend...
...after a while, she starts to shift uncomfortably and says "would you mind taking your ring off, please?"
The guy responds: "what ring? That's my wristwatch!"
A girl went to a doctor for a checkup....
During her annual checkup, the attractive woman was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. Doctor… she replied shyly, I feel uncomfortable u**... in front of you. All right, said the physician, I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're done. A few moments later her voice called out from the darkness, Doctor, I've undressed. What should I do with all my clothes? Put them on the chair, on top of mine.
Erections happen all the time
A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."
whats the most uncomfortable thing about a prostate exam?
When you ask the doctor where to put your pants and his reply is right next to mine.
I told my husband he really should stop m**....
"Why?", he asked
"Because you're making this dinner party REALLY uncomfortable for our guests."
I saw a man the other day arguing with a traffic sign
The sign looked incredibly uncomfortable. It really wanted him to Stop.
I don't think I will ever find a stable job...
Because quite honestly I'm very uncomfortable around horses
The bra my boyfriend gave me is really uncomfortable.
Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.
People say that s**... ed classes in America are uncomfortable. But I think that history classes in Germany are worse.
"Hey kids, you'll never guess what your grandparents did..."
"Doctor, I heard one can get AIDS in the public toilets! Is that true?!"
"Doctor, I heard one can get AIDS in the public toilets! Is that true?!"
"Yes, it is possible, but quite uncomfortable."
Little John fell in love with the teacher.
Little John is sitting in his bench and he is fondly looking at the teacher. It got little uncomfortable for her that he doesn't stop watching her so she said to him:
- John, why do you watch me all the time?
- Well, I love you - spoke John.
- But I do not love children - says his teacher.
- It's okay, we'll be careful.
I was checking out at Tesco...
I was checking out at Tesco today when I noticed the man in front of me put one item on the conveyor belt... a box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring, but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So, to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said, "Looks like we've both bought something to put on our sausages!".
A woman visits the gynaecologist for the first time...
Her legs are up in the stirrups and she looks very uncomfortable. The doctor says, "You look nervous. Would you like me to numb you down there before the exam?"
She looks relieved and says "Yes, please."
So, the doctor puts his head between her legs and goes num, num, num.
I finally stood up to the woman who kept asking to give me a "b**...".
It was too uncomfortable when I was sitting down after all.
I was planning on watching the fight on my TV tonight
But it was pretty uncomfortable, so I'll probably just watch it from my couch.
My girlfriend and I had s**... in my car last night. Was pretty uncomfortable though...
... Maybe we should have dropped her parents off first.
I can't wait to get home and take my wife's p**... off...
...this thing is really uncomfortable.
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked.
"You need to stop m**... so much," the optometrist says.
"Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?"
The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Jewish Judge
Taking his seat in his chambers, the smart, HONEST Jewish Judge faced the opposing lawyers.
"So, the Judge said, I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers became uncomfortable.
" You, attorney John, gave me $ 50,000 and you, attorney Sam, gave me $ 60,000."
The judge now reached into his pocket and pulled out $ 10,000, He handed it to attorney Sam and said...
"Now that I'm returning $ 10,000, we're going to decide this case solely on its merits.
There was a woman breastfeeding in the park.
Fascinated, I walked over and said, "I hope you don't mind me being curious, but what's it like?"
"Oh," she said, "it's a bit uncomfortable if I'm honest."
I said, "I was talking to the baby."
My Doctor said I should stop m**.......
His secretary was getting uncomfortable.
My wife said, "it looks uncomfortable growing all that f**... hair under your nose..."
must ache
Little Mikey
A five-year-old Mikey asks his Grandpa, Grandpa, what do you call it when there are two people on top of each other in bed?
-
The Grandpa feels very uncomfortable but decides not to confuse the child and bravely says, That's i**..., my boy.
-
OK, nods Mikey and off he goes.
-
He comes back after five minutes and says, Grandpa, that's not right. I've just spoken to mom and she said that it's not called i**... but a bunk bed!
Our grandpa was running away from the operation theater ...
We stopped him and asked what was wrong.
He replied that the nurses in the operation theater were saying "Don't worry, everything will be alright, we are all with you" and that made him uncomfortable.
We said "They were trying to calm you down. This is common. They probably say this to all the patients before the surgery"
Our grandpa took a deep breath, looked deep into my eyes and said "They were telling that to the surgeon"
There were two whales at a bar.
The first whale says to the second (make whale noises until everyone is a little uncomfortable).
Then the second whale says back to the first (inhale sharply), "Go home Frank. You're drunk."
A man walks into a bar, orders a glass of beer, and stares at the bartender for a long time making her uncomfortable.
The bartender says, Why don't you take a pitcher? It'll last longer.
A theater owner has a smudge on his sign
He climbs the ladder to clean it, but he is afraid of heights and soils himself, causing his underwear to stick to him uncomfortably. He now has two problems:
.
.
.
.
Marquee mark and the funky bunch
I'm so sorry
A pirate walks into a bar,
He has what appears to be a steering wheel tucked into his pants.
Another patron of the bar asks,
"why do you have that in your pants? Isn't it uncomfortable?"
The pirate responded,
"Aye, matey, it's driving me nuts!"
I was going to tell a joke about the leader of North Korea having a furniture f**...
But the punchline was uncomfortable.
My friend got made at me for smelling his mothers underwear.
I'm unaware whether it was cause she was there or cause the rest of the family was there. Either way it made for a uncomfortable f**....
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel jammed down the front of his pants.
The bartender says, "Isn't that uncomfortable?"
The pirate responds, "Ar, it's drivin' me nuts."
"You need to stop m**... so much!"
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked.
"You need to stop m**... so much," the optometrist says.
"Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?"
The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Hey baby, are you Britain?
Cos you're uncomfortably wet and can't decide if you want to be in or out
[Long] I (31m) just had the most uncomfortable experience of my life.
Sleeping in a bed which was only 30m.
At a wedding reception, the groom's grandfather stood up to make his toast. Having been married for 60 years, he wanted to pass on his secret to the newlyweds. The grandfather addressed the happy couple, saying the tip to a happy and long lasting marriage is to beat your wife up every morning.
An uncomfortable silence followed. The grandfather continued, yes, I beat my wife up every morning. I get up around 6:30 and she gets up around 8.
My pregnant wife couldn't sleep last night because she was so uncomfortable...
She is running out of w**....
My teacher tried to flirt with me in class today.
It made me really uncomfortable. She kept saying "You look s**...!" and "wanna have a little fun in bed?"
It's tough being homeschooled.
My friend Doug shocked and hurt me.
He told me today that I make people very uncomfortable and have no respect for personal space. I mean, what a horrible thing to say to a friend? It totally ruined our bath.
A man is dispatched by the UN to investigate the quality of the democracy in China.
Upon arrival, he has a meeting with the chinese president. He asks the president:
Do you have elections?
The president seems somewhat uncomfortable but answers:
Evely molning
A little boy asked his grandad where p**... came from
The grandad was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation. The little boy looked a little perplexed and stared at him in stunned silence for a few seconds before asking "And Tigger?"
You know what's a REAL pain in the b**...?
An uncomfortable chair.
A cowboy walks into a bar and accidentally bumps shoulders with someone while walking up to the bartender
The cowboy says politely, Scuse me, sir.
The person looks over at the cowboy uncomfortably and responds, Uh, actually I'm non-binary. The cowboy tips his hat respectfully and says, Oh, pardon me M'theydy.
My son asked me "Where does p**... come from?"
I was a little uncomfortable, but I sat him down and gave him an honest explanation.
He looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds, and asked "And Tigger?"
My son asked me where p**... came from
My son asked "Where does p**... come from?" It was uncomfortable but I gave him an honest answer. Looking up in silence and a little confused he asked "And Tigger?"
What do the US police force and the k**... have in common?
An uncomfortable amount.
A Piece Of String Walks Into A Bar...
He quickly notices a sign that says, "No String Allowed, We do not serve pieces of String."
Before anyone notices, he rushes to the bathroom and hides in a stall.
He messes himself up, makes himself look rough and tattered. Then he contorts his body into a twisted and uncomfortable position.
He proceeds to the bar where he asks the barkeep for a drink.
Looking at the string suspiciously the barkeep asks,
"Hey... are you a piece of string??"
To which the string replies,
"No, I'm a frayed knot.".
(Shamelessly farming Karma on my cake day)
Just came up with this, as far as I know
A man walks into a gastroenterologist's office and stops to stand just at the edge of the seating area. The receptionist waits for him to approach but he fidgets uncomfortably, staring at the wooden seats between himself and the counter. Sir, why don't you come over here so we can get you checked in? says the receptionist.
That's why I'm here, he says, I have difficulty passing stools.
A Couple on their Honeymoon decided to take a trip to Africa. While walking in the countryside, they saw a beautiful lake...
There was a little boy who was standing by the bank, enjoying himself. The couple approached him and asked if it was safe to go into the water, if there were any sharks in the lake. The boy said no and went back to playing.
The couple jumped into the lake but after awhile felt uncomfortable so got out and asked the boy again if he was sure there were no sharks.
The boy, looking at the couple, a little irritated now, said: Believe me, Sharks don't come where there are Crocodiles.
If you currently have a voodoo doll of me
Please scratch its b**... for me, I'm at a meeting and it's really uncomfortable. Thanks
A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence
He is told by the abbot that on the anniversary of his vow, he can speak one sentence. A year goes by and on the first anniversary, the monk says: "My bed is uncomfortable."
Another years goes by. On the anniversary, the monk tells the abbot: "The food is cold."
Yet another year goes by, and this time the monk says: "It's drafty in my cell."
The abbot throws up his hands. "b**..., b**..., b**..., is that all you can do?!"
What do you call a veteran's uncomfortable e**...?
Battle of the bulge
Superman has to make a doctor appointment...
The doctor is baffled when he walks into the patient room and finds THE Superman sitting on the bench.
"Erm... hello Superman, what seems to be the problem? I'm going to be honest I didn't realize that the man of steel needed to go to the doctor.."
Clearly uncomfortable Superman lowers his gaze and sighs..
"Doc, this is a little embarrassing but it burns when I see..."
My son asked me, "Where does p**... come from?" I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation. He looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds then said...
"And Tigger?"
Tunnel love
A gawky lad from New England came to New York with his girl, and took her to nearby Playland Amusement Park. They had heard a lot about the Tunnel of Love and were especially anxious to try it out. But when they got home, the kids expressed disappointment.
Shucks, the boy said, it was dark and damp and uncomfortable. Besides, we got soaking wet.
How come? asked a friend. Did the boat leak?
The kid looked amazed. There's a boat?
My therapist said my Freudian slips make her uncomfortable
Boy, if I had a n**... for every time I've been told that...
A woman goes to the Doctor about her constipation 'It's making me really uncomfortable' she says 'I just sit on the toilet for 6 hours ... and nothing happens'
'6 hours!?' The Doctor asks 'Are you taking anything?'
'Usually just a book' replies the woman
