The Best 42 Uncles Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Uncles jokes. There are some uncles niece jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these uncles uncle sam puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Uncles Jokes and Puns
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all of it's Uncles were Aunts(Ants)
What has two arms,two legs and eats ants?
Uncles
What is worse than ants in your pants?
......... Uncles.
My uncles wife is a sex therapist. (Possibly NSFW?)
I call her Aunty climax.
My little brother wished for bigger family gatherings
So I listed my single uncles on dating websites. "You want aunts? That's how you get aunts."
What's worse then ants in your pants?
Uncles.
Not proud of the repost, I acknowledge lack of research
Sorry team
I have 5 uncles. Scott, Daniel, Bob, Tate,
And the one that works at Nintendo.
Why are all ants female?
Because then they would be called uncles.
I wonder what my grandfather used to do on his free time.
There was no tv, no internet...
Probably should ask one of my ten uncles.
I used to be an exterminator
I specialized in ants, until the police caught on as I switched to uncles
What did grandma and grandpa do before there was Internet?
I mean, didn't they get bored?
I asked my 32 uncles and aunts, but they didn't know either.
You can explore uncles sexdaily reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean uncles grandpa dad jokes. There are also uncles puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Paddy Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are discussing how great their uncles are
Paddy Scotsman says "my uncle is a priest, when he walks down the road everyone nods and say father"
"That's nothing" says Paddy Englishman, "My uncle is a bishop, when he walks down the road everyone BOWS and says your grace". Not to be outdone, Paddy Irishman looks at them both and laughs. "My uncle weighs over 400lbs (200kg). When he walks down the road everyone says JESUS CHRIST!".
How can you tell if an ant is male or female?
They're all females, otherwise they'd be uncles.
The American dream:
To buy a shovel for 2$, to then sell it for 4$. Then you buy two shovels, and sell those for 8$. Then one of your rich uncles dies and you inherit 1,000,000$
My dad told me this one
What would happen if ants disappeared from the Earth?
You'd be left with uncles.
Lemme tell you a dad joke: Why was the baby ant confused?
'Cuz.,.......,...............
,........................
.................
.........
Because all his uncles were ants!
Insexts
What has 6legs and eats ants???
My 3 uncles.
How do you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They're all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles
Do ants have dicks?
No.
Cuz then they would be uncles.
My Biology teacher told me ants are female
The males are called uncles
Why are all the ant larvae confused?
Because all their uncles are ants!
I was shocked when I saw the photos of Kate Spade hanging
I was shocked when I saw the photos of Kate Spade hanging....
On the wall in my uncles living room. I didn't know they used to be friends.
All three of my uncles used to grow weed together
It was a joint effort.
Why was the ant confused?
Because all his uncles were also ants.
I am adopted, and so is one of my uncles.
So now I have another mother with another brother from another mother.
None of my uncles are Jewish
But I do have an Auntie Semite
Roses are red
Violets are bluish
If it wasn't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish
I don't know if this has been posted before but I heard it from one of my uncles.
"What did grandpa and grandma do for fun back in the day?"
i don't know why but this question was never answered by anyone from my 17 aunts and uncles.
People ask me how I have so many cousins, aunts, uncles, sisters and brothers.
I respond with It's all relative
What's worse than a million ants in your pants?
Uncles
So I was staying at my uncles...
SO THIS IS A REAL STORY
My nephew, mommy you're kind of fat.
My uncle, no she's not son she's just big boned.
My nephews expression immediately drops,
Daddy is she okay?
Yeah why wouldn't she be?
Why do her bones jiggle?
How can you tell female ants from male ants?
They're all females, otherwise they'd be called uncles
What's worse then having ants in your pants?
Uncles
Cardinal Cicola (my late Uncles favorite joke)
Do you know about Cardinal Cicola? He is Pope Francis' right hand man. If one day, something happens to Pope Francis, Cardinal Cicola will become the new Pope.
His name will become Pope Cicola
How do you know an ant is Male.
You cant .
Because if it is , they'll be called uncles .
Do you know what worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles in your pants
What's worst than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
I'll never forget my Uncles last words on his death bed
"I am your Father"
Still doing the Star Wars impressions right to the end.
Don't be an Anti-Vaxxer,
getting your Uncles vaccinated is just as important!
Little Johnny
An insurance officer comes to a farm and meets Little Johnny and asks,
"Hello, are your parents home by any chance?"
Little Johnny: "My parents were run over by the tractor ..."
Insurance officer: "Really? That's awful! Are your siblings at home?"
Little Johnny: "Run over by the tractor ..."
Insurance officer: "Oh my God! That's terrible! Are your grandparents or your uncles or aunts or any of your relatives at home?"
Little Johnny: "No! All of them run over by the tractor ..."
Insurance officer: "What are you doing all day then?"
Little Johnny: "Drive the tractor!"
What's worse than ants in ya pants ?
Uncles
Are you my uncles kidney?
Because you're a failure.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the uncles richards jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working uncles uncle ben piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.