Unarmed Jokes

42 unarmed jokes and hilarious unarmed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about unarmed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Unarmed Short Jokes

Short unarmed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The unarmed humour may include short unharmed jokes also.

  1. My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
  2. Why would Donald Trump run into an active school shooting, even if unarmed? Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him
  3. American kid: Mommy, what's a "Canadian"? Well, dear, that's an unarmed citizen with health insurance.
  4. Why did the knight stop fighting after all his limbs had been chopped of? He'd been unarmed and defeated
  5. An amputee broke into my house last night and tried to steal my stuff Luckily he was unarmed
  6. Did you hear what the dyslexic man said when the police shot an unarmed programmer? "They should have just compiled!!!"
  7. In the middle of a bank robbery, a guy with no arms walks right in and says Dont shoot. Im unarmed.
  8. My friend was arrested for beating an unarmed black man to death He was charged with impersonating a police officer.
  9. I heard a double amputee got arrested on weapons charges They must've gotten the wrong guy, he's definitely unarmed
  10. A police officer shoots and kills an unarmed civilian The officer is immediately arrested and eventually found guilty

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Unarmed One Liners

Which unarmed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with unarmed? I can suggest the ones about one armed and armless man.

  1. Mommy, what is a Canadian? It's an unarmed North American with health insurance, sweetie.
  2. Why couldn't the amputee rob the bank... Because he was unarmed
  3. A patient broke out of an amputation clinic! Don't worry, hes unarmed
  4. Why didn't the police arrest the amputee? He was unarmed.
  5. Why snakes can't rob a bank? Because they are unarmed
  6. What do you call it when two men without arms get into a fight? Unarmed combat
  7. What do you call an army of amputees? The unarmed forces
  8. Why are amputees the easiest to subdue? They're always unarmed
  9. Canadian Defenition Canadian (noun):
    An unarmed american with health insurance
  10. Funny joke, I think. A robber who had no arms tried to rob me, good thing he was unarmed.
  11. A man tries to punch a wood chipper He is unarmed.
  12. What did the amputee say to the police officer? "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
  13. I had prepared for a battle of wits but I see you came unarmed.
  14. Why did the limbless gladiator surrender? He was unarmed and defeated.
  15. How do you confuse a Republican? Wrap an unarmed black man in the American Flag

Unarmed joke, How do you confuse a Republican?

Hilarious Fun Unarmed Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about unarmed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean undressed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make unarmed pranks.

Gladiator's Monday

A gladiator was having a rough Monday at the arena.
His opponent had sliced off both of his arms.
Nevertheless, he fought on, k**... and biting as furiously as he could. But when his opponent lopped off both of his feet, the gladiator had no choice but to give up.
He was now both unarmed and defeated.

Why was I arrested for only 1 year with a $5,000 fine after killing an unarmed African-American man?

On charges of "impersonating a police officer".

I'm afraid to be around unarmed black men.

What if the police miss and shoot me by mistake?

A Latino shot an unarmed black man today, and everyone is in an uproar

Especially the police, saying "They took our jobs!"

Unarmed joke, Why did the limbless gladiator surrender?