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Umpire Jokes

23 umpire jokes and hilarious umpire puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about umpire that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you're looking for a good laugh, check out these funny umpire jokes! You'll find a variety of laughs at the expense of blind umpires, cricket umpires, AFL umpires, and softball umpires, along with jabs at bowlers, outfielders and baseball in general. Get ready for a good giggle with these clever umpire jokes!

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Funniest Umpire Short Jokes

Short umpire jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The umpire humour may include short referee jokes also.

  1. A rough, hard drinking baseball umpire was upset because he couldn't get his little boy to sit on his lap and talk to him.
    After all, the son never sits on the brutish umpire.
  2. God challenges the Devil to a game of baseball. How can I lose? God said. I have all the best players up here!
    How can I lose? Said the Devil. I have all of the umpires down here.
  3. I got called racist for saying 'pitch black' The umpire disqualified me and told me I struck out and that the better thing to say would be 'Jamal, I'm ready for your fastball'.
  4. Did you hear about the Welsh baseball referee who circles the world each day? The sun never sets on the British umpire.
  5. What's the difference between an umpire and an empire? An umpire gives three strikes, but an Empire Strikes Back.
  6. For the first time, an mlb Umpire came out as gay He's not a pitcher or a catcher, he just likes to watch.
  7. Did you hear about the Major League Baseball umpire who came out as gay? Apparently he's not a pitcher or a catcher, he just likes to watch.
  8. I'm not saying I'm lazy, but during a game of tennis... The umpire said "break point" and I headed for my chair.
  9. A umpire walks down the street... A umpire is walking down the street and sees that people are having a strike. He asks them "are you guys having a ball?"
  10. Why did the ambulance show up to a tennis match between number 8 and Number 9? The umpire called it: nine won one.

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Umpire One Liners

Which umpire one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with umpire? I can suggest the ones about judge and jury.

  1. Shakespeare would have been a terrible umpire. Fair is foul, and foul is fair.
  2. What did the umpire say to the bald man? "You're outta hair!"
  3. Glenn Mcgrath hit a six Umpire was like, lol
  4. Who wears a toga and a face mask? The Roman Umpire.
  5. I love dating umpires. I always feel safe.
  6. Why was h**... a great baseball umpire? Three Reichs and you're out.
  7. What did the umpire say when r**... Johnson hit a bird with his pitch? Fowl ball.

Baseball Umpire Jokes

Here is a list of funny baseball umpire jokes and even better baseball umpire puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So, a bird flies in front of a pitcher and gets hit by a baseball. What do the umpires rule it? Fowl ball
  • A bird gets hit and killed by a baseball The umpire and coroner agreed to call it foul play.
Umpire joke, A bird gets hit and killed by a baseball

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about umpire can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of umpire puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Howlingly Hilarious Umpire Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about umpire you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean court jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make umpire prank.

Army Wargames

During an Army war game, a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.
"Sorry sir, "said one of the loafers, "but we've been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn't contribute in any way."
The officer turned to his driver and said, "Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction."
They helped.

Jungle animals started a softball league...

The teams are separated by species.
A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.
He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."
"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just want to know which field I'm on."
"Species puns, huh?" he replied, "Well toucan play at that game."

Serena Williams was fined $17k

Verbal a**... of the umpire: $10,000
Being warned for coaching: $4,000
Breaking her racket: $3,000
Stealing the moment from Osaka by calling the umpire a thief: Priceless

One day a baseball umpire brought his son to a game to watch him work. Dutmring the game, the umpire was rude and insulting, even to the point of spitting and cursing the players. At the end of the game he knelt down and beckoned his son to come sit on his knee. The boy refused saying . . .

The son never sits on the brutish umpire.

Umpire joke, What did the umpire say when r**... Johnson hit a bird with his pitch?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these umpire jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.