Ugly Hair Jokes
19 ugly hair jokes and hilarious ugly hair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ugly hair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ugly Hair Short Jokes
Short ugly hair jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ugly hair humour may include short bad hair jokes also.
- Hair Salons, Tanning Salons, Gyms, Spas, The Clinique Counter... All closed.
It's getting ugly out there. - Yo momma so ugly... The only reason your daddy eats chicken is cause it has less hair and bigger breast than yo momma.
- Mom, am I ugly? "Of course not, honey. You have everything a man wants, a deep voice, broad shoulders, f**... hair..."
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Ugly Hair One Liners
Which ugly hair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ugly hair? I can suggest the ones about ugly person and ugly woman.
- Yo hair so greasy, that you can survive off the fried chicken in food shortage.
- Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
- Yo' Mama is so ugly, she can only grow hair on her nuts.
- I have a hair lip, a big belly, and a lazy eye. What am I? Ugly.
Uproarious Ugly Hair Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about ugly hair you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shaved hair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ugly hair pranks.
"Honey, I think I'm ugly...."
So I pulled her infront of a mirror, stood right next to her and said:
"Darling, I mean look a that s**... smile, that beautiful hair and those eyes....Just wow. No wonder you feel ugly next to me!"
A Husband and Wife were messaging each other.
Husband: You are negative
Wife: And you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life, care about no one but yourself and your friends, all you are interested in is your own self, and in all your life you've not fulfilled even one of your promises. I'm the only one that has to put up with such a miserly and insensitive man. You good for nothing, fat, ugly man. Even your hair transplant failed.
Husband: I was just letting you know that your Covid test was negative.
Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair.
The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro.
So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro?
She said yes, so I was glad.
Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.
A husband and wife are getting dressed to go out to dinner
As the woman is making herself up in the mirror she grimaces at her reflection and turns to her husband.
"Why have the years been so cruel to me? With each passing day I get even more old and ugly. The lines on my face run as deep as river beds. My lips are as shriveled as raisins. My once thick and luscious hair has thinned considerably. Name ONE thing that I still have going for me."
The husband replies "your eyesight is d**... near perfect."
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.....
I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 25-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Mary's high school.
"Yes. yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1989. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, gray-haired, decrepit, s**..., asked,
"What did you teach" ?
Near Death Experience
I was driving one afternoon with my wife, when as we pulled up to a stop light, a motorcycle rider with long blonde hair pulls past us.
My wife commented "That's a woman riding that bike, cool!"
I replied "So does that make her a BILF?"
"BILF?" she asked.
"You know, a Biker I'd Like to F.."
"Drac73521! You haven't even seen her face, what if she's ugly, would you still want to f her then?" she exclaimed..
"Probably.. I mean I married you after all.."
Doctors tell me I can go home this weekend..
The old dentist
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he beamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald wrinkled, fat, gray, decrepit son-of-a-gun asked, "What did you teach?"
The ladder to success
A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success," she said.
No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye. "Screw me hard or climb the ladder to success," she said. "Well," thought the man, "might as well carry on."
On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was quite attractive. "Screw me now or climb the ladder to success," she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went.
On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot. "Screw me here and now or climb the ladder to success," she flirted. Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head.
"Who are you?" the man asked.
"Hello" said the ugly fat man, "I'm Cess!"