Udder Jokes
112 udder jokes and hilarious udder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about udder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh your way to Udder Bliss with our collection of rib-tickling cow jokes! From hooves to udders and milk to boobs, we've got the perfect jokes to add some bovine-related hilarity to your day.
Funniest Udder Short Jokes
Short udder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The udder humour may include short utter jokes also.
- What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
^(I'll show myself out) - I'm just milking it now. Studies show cows produce more Milk when the Farmer talks to them.
It's a case of in one ear and out the udder. - My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior. He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.
- Did you hear about the farmer that failed dairy farming school? He didn't work well with udders.
- I tried to collect some wool and milk from my farm and the animals went crazy. It was shear and udder panic.
- I do not want to hear any more jokes about cows…. I've herd them all so don't udder a single word.
- What happened when the cow jumped over the moon? Udder destruction.
I'm sorry, I'll see myself out. - A farm was bombed and only one cow survived. All the udders died.
- Why did the cow cross the road To get to the udder side
- What's it like milking a crazy cow? Udder madness.
Share These Udder Jokes With Friends
Udder One Liners
Which udder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with udder? I can suggest the ones about usher and dent.
- Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
- What do you call a cow that gives no milk? An udder failure.
- what happened to the cow when it jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction!
- What sound does a cow make when it runs out of milk? None. There is udder silence.
- What might a farmer put on his resume? Works well with udders.
- If a cow doesn't produce milk... Is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
- What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster.
- WHY DO COWS LIE DOWN IN THE RAIN? TO KEEP EACH UDDER DRY.
- How did the cow feel when it couldn't produce milk? Udderly useless.
- Cows milk doesn't just come from one breast They have udders
- How do cows forgive each other? They turn the udder cheek.
- What do you call a cow with one udder? A bull.
- How often do Jamaican farmers milk their cows? Every udder day
- What did one butter stick say to another butter stick you my butter from another udder
- What does a cow call his girlfriend? His significant udder.
Cow Udder Jokes
Here is a list of funny cow udder jokes and even better cow udder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the cow say to Adele as she walked past its field? Hello from the udder side.
- My son asked me "Cows are so big, how do they walk?" Simple, just put one foot in front of an udder.
- A friend of mine is afraid of cows He lives his life in udder fear.
- What is an evil cow's ultimate goal? Udder mayhem
- What did the farmer say when he tried to milk the cow, but nothing came out? "Time to try the udder one."
- A cow recently submitted a two word theater review... "Udderly Mooving."
- Why do cows huddle together when it rains? To keep each udder dry
Courtesy of my significant other - Took me 4 times the usual to milk a cow today. He only had one udder, which was strange.
- What do you call it when you're milking a cow, and the milk goes everywhere but in the bucket? Udder chaos
- A cow walks into a milk bar. and no one uddered a word
Cows Udder Jokes
Here is a list of funny cows udder jokes and even better cows udder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know about the time I chatted with the holy cow? It was an udder worldly experience.
- Two of the cows on our farm will not produce milk We called the one Milk Dud and the other an Udder Failure
- How did the cow feel after being diagnosed with breast cancer? She was in udder disbelief.
- Never tell a cow a joke It'll just go in through one ear and out through the udders.
- You know the worst thing about working on a farm? Milking the cows is udderly exhausting.
- I used to be a work on a ranch that kept cows and bulls, but the pay was udderly terribull.
- How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? The bull has horns, and the cow is the udder one.
- My cow stopped giving milk. What an udder disappointment.
- I tried crossbreeding my cows. I was attempting to create a new type of milk that was super sweet.
Instead, none of the cows would even produce milk. It was a complete and udder failure. - Why was the little piglet suckling on the cow's teet? He was udderly confused.
Gather Around for Fun Udder Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about udder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pong jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make udder pranks.
What happened to the cowboy when he said that he was sick of washing cowhides at his side of the dairy?
He was sent to the udder side
So I was outside on the farm yesterday when this cow comes charging at me and attempts to jump over the barbed wire fence...
It was an udder disaster.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?
Udder Destruction.
I swear this joke is funnier in person.
Try it, trust me.
p**... dropper for sure.
Which cow is the hardest to milk?
The one with only one udder.
I pulled my cow's udder, but nothing came out.
He's a milk dud.
it took the farmer a lifetime to find another cow to love...
but he couldn't find an udder
A cow walked to the store to buy some milk...
but cows don't have hands so they can't use grocery stores or grab milk in a container. It was an udder failure.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the bull get a s**... change?
To see how the UDDER side lives!
----------
(Thought of it while washing the dishes, hope you all get a kick out of it.)
What does one cow call another cow's dairy products?
Butter from another udder
Did you hear about the lonely cow that joined a dating website?
She was searching for her udder half.
My cow won't give any milk...
She is an udder failure.
Grass
is always creamer on the udder side.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When you're so fat you have manboobs, I guess you could say you're...
... a complete and **udder** mess.
Did you guys hear about the cow that was able to step over the the electric fence?
No one could believe it, it was an udder shock!
Why did the hungry baby calf cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What did one cow say to the udder?
You can't make milk! This is Bull!
Why was the cow roaming aimlessly?
Because it was without it's significant udder.
I'm going to be opening a store that sells cow print socks
One for your left foot, one for the udder
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the t**... attack on the dairy / cow farm?
It was an udder disaster.
Did you hear about the cow that jumped over the picket fence?
It was an udder disaster!
Edit . Ruined the joke - udder
What does a jihadist cow cause?
Udder Chaos!
Apparently there's a support group for cows who have trouble producing milk.
The cows go, talk about their feelings and build each udder up.
In which world are cows at the top of the food chain?
Well not in this one but maybe in the udder one
What are udders on male cows called?
Moooooooooooobs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You ever heard of the brown cow that gives chocolate milk?
It's udder b**....
On which side should you milk a cow
The udder side.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally tried to milk a bull.
It was udder confusion.
Why was the farmer scared when the cows didn't produce milk?
Because it was udder silence.
I thought about reposting a cow joke...
But what's the point? I see it here every udder day
Mad Cow Disease has been found to be transmitted to calves when being breastfed
It's udder insanity
Did you hear about the mad cow disease outbreak?
It was udder pandemonium
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the father cow say to his daughter, when she came home late yet again?
You are an UDDER disappointment to this family young lady!
(I hit the spoiler on my last post, so just decided to remake it, sorry for the double post).
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I bought a cow last week...
The old farmer who sold her to disclosed that only 3 out of the 6 teats produced milk. I brought home and went to milking only to find that he lied and not a single t**... produced milk! It was an udder failure.
Steer clear if you don't like cow puns
Why are cows the most forgiving animals?
Because forgiveness is bovine.
Alternatively: because they're always ready to turn the udder cheek.
Why is it best to hug a cow right after it eats?
Because then it's extra cuddly.
I knew this guy whose favorite thing was to cover a cow's eyes. He just loved to make them low and behold.
You know what makes cow puns so great?
You can always come up with an udder one.
How do you know when you can trust a cow?
When you have udder confidence in it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A milk thief goes into a barn
He finds a suitable cattle, and tries to milk it. Eventually he resorts to s**... on the udder, and eventually gets a spurt of gelatinous, salty milk. The farmer enters to see the man spitting it out, before the man remarks about the disgusting milk.
Farmer hands him a bucket, and points to another heifer. He says
"That's the female cow right there."
Do you know what happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado?
It was an udder disaster.
In Minnesota, it gets so cold...
...that you can eat softserve directly from the udder!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like how b**... are called differently for some women
Like it's called udder for your mom
^i'm ^sorry
What did the bull say to the milkman, when he tried milking him?
take the udder one!
What happened when the cows escaped from the paddock?
Udder Chaos!
How do you get milk and eggs if all you have is chickens?
You get the eggs from the first chicken. Then you get the milk from the udder chicken.
What would happen if you tried talking to a cow?
Everything would just go in one ear and out the udder.
A farmer was milking his cow
At one point, he noticed a fly buzzing in the cows' ear.
Shortly after the farmer looked down at the bucket and noticed a fly swimming in the milk.
"Huh," said the farmer. "In one ear, out the udder."
