Uber Jokes

Discover hilarious Uber-related jokes and puns, from Ola Uber and Uber Eats to Uber Gadhvi Na and Uber Delivery. Learn more about the Ubermensch, scrod, and vehicles while you laugh!

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Short Uber Jokes
Uber One Liners
Uber Driver Jokes
Uber Taxi Jokes
Uber Eats Jokes
More Uber Jokes

Best Short Uber Jokes

These are our top uber puns. Have fun with a good uber joke in English with simple uber humour.

I tried to be an Uber driver... Trouble is, my passengers didn't appreciate when I went the extra mile.
What do you call a black man that is hammered AF that is stumbling to his car from the bar? An Uber so he can get home safely
I was in a Uber today and the driver said, "I love my job, I'm my own boss.
Nobody tells me what to do…"
Then I said "turn left"
My father complained "I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men." Dad, you're using Uber.
Riding with Uber earlier.. The driver said,
"I love my job, I am my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."
Then I said, "Turn Left.
Nothing better than shutting the door and jerking off after a long day And it's even better if the uber has heated seats
Buying yourself an Uber gift card is ironic. Cause it's a free ride when you've already paid.
I ordered my ex wife food she hates and had Uber Eats deliver it... Because revenge is a dish best served cold
Did you know that taxis in Germany can only pick up customers on special side streets? They're called Deutschland Uber alleys.
Grindr I was riding in an Uber with a gay male friend when his Grindr tone went off and our female driver said, hey, I know that game tone…my husband plays it all the time.

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these uber jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of uber puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uber One Liners

Which uber dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with uber?

Why can't PC gamers use Uber? Too many incompatible drivers.
What do you call a drunk women? An uber so she can get home safe
Why do uber drivers skip the gym? Because they don't even lyft.
Why is Uber so weak? Because they don't even Lyft.
What did mark zuckerberg say when the US shot down the UFO? Oh no, not my Uber!
What is the most effective pickup line? Hello, this is your Uber driver.
Today was a bad day My ex got hit by a car and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
I got fired from Uber Apparently they didn't like me going the extra mile.
What meme do Uber drivers hate? Do you even Lyft, bro?
What do you call a bread delivery service Uber wheats
How do you know your Uber driver has another career? Oh don't worry they'll tell you.
dating is getting so expensive, so instead of buying an uber. My wife gave us a ride
Tinder can learn a lot from Uber... It's much easier to find a ride on Uber
What do you call a drunk person trying to unlock their car? An Uber.
What do you call a man with no shins? An Uber.

Uber Driver Jokes

Here is a list of funny uber driver jokes and even better uber driver puns that will make you laugh with friends.

My Uber driver's name was Bienvenido When he was dropping me off I said " Thank you!" and he said "you're welcome" and I said "No, you're welcome."
I took a ride last night, and I guess Uber will just hire anyone now. I had to sit in the backseat because the driver's guide-dog was riding shotgun.
Did you hear about the Indian who drank too much tea? He drowned in his teepee.
-My Uber Driver
I tried to be an uber driver once. Problem is, customers didn't appreciate when I went the extra mile.
I had a really chatty Uber driver today... He kept saying stuff like, "Who are you and why are you in my car?" and "Please get out or I'll call the cops."
5 stars.
I just had the most clueless Uber driver in Gettysburg, PA He didn't even know the address.
What's worse than being a tanning salon owner in Africa? Being a somali Uber driver in Columbus, Ohio.
What do you call a nice Jewish Lyft driver? an Uber Mensch.
What did the inpatient woman tell the Uber driver? Hurry up. I'm in desperate need of a Lyft.
An Uber driver I called an Uber, a luxury minivan came.
The driver asked: are you ok with songs from the 60s?
Thought for 3 second, I said: Why not
Then he started to sing...

Uber Taxi Jokes

Here is a list of funny uber taxi jokes and even better uber taxi puns that will make you laugh with friends.

I got really wasted and decided that uber was the way to go But according to the police taxi's only work for drunk people when they AREN'T the driver
Taxi drivers seem pretty sad these days... I guess you could say they're, *uber* depressed.
I prefer riding with Uber The other options are too tax-y for me
The last one on the news After the protests from the taxi drivers against uber, prostitutes from all over the world started to rise against tinder
Uber, Nasa to develop flying taxis Love in the air will be interrupted by traffic now.
Adolf h**... never took a taxi in his whole life. He was more of an Uber-mensch.

Uber Eats Jokes

Here is a list of funny uber eats jokes and even better uber eats puns that will make you laugh with friends.

I order my ex girlfriend a meal she hates and had Uber Eats deliver it because... Revenge is a dish best served cold
Thanks to Uber Eats, ordering Chinese takeaway for a picnic is as easy as a wok in the park.
I called Uber eats today I had them bring me a DiGiorno.

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Uber Jokes

What funny jokes about uber to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make uber prank.

me: Can I play some music?

**uber driver:** Yeah, sure.
**me *[pulling out my tuba]*:** Do u like veggie tales?

Uber dressed up some of their vehicles as Star Wars Stormtroopers in Manhattan...

I wouldn't mind riding one of those. They won't hit anything.

What do you call a white guy with 2 black guys in the back of the car? The police. What do you call a black guy with 2 white guys in the back of the car?

Uber!

Kalamazoo Uber offering free rides.

Everyone rides shotgun.

Uber Ark Driver Needed in Florida Panhandle area

Just got a call from a friend on the Florida coast where a lot of rain is falling. He told me an Uber Ark driver position is available.

I want to start up a driving service, similar to Uber, except the drivers are n**......

And name it Puber

If Oskar Schindler was your Uber fare...

...you'd be Schindler's Lift

I just hopped in an Uber...

The driver explained how much she loved her job. She was her own boss and no one could tell her what she ha...
Siri: *Turn left in half a mile*

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Uber teams up with Lyft to fight ride-sharing restrictions in Germany

Deutschland Uber allies was probably a bad choice for the name of the coalition.

I'm not saying the rural county I live in is full of hicks but instead of Uber

We have Goober

Tonight I'm through living with this constant pain. I am going home.

I quit my job testing pepper spray, and called an uber.

What kind of car do most philosophy majors drive?

An uber.

Uber

Now that Uber doesn't have a CEO, COO, CFO or CTO, they may finally qualify as a self-driving car company.

Did y'all hear about the wine Uber started making?

It's kinda like a cab but not quite.

An Uber driver told me "I love my job, I have no boss nobody tells me what to do I love it"

I told him turn next left

I love having s**... in the back of a car.

My only problem is that it's really hard to find an Uber driver that'll let me.

What did the n**... think made their genes superior?

Uber alleles.

In germany after the succes of Uber and Ubereats a new app is rising under elderly folk for finding people to help in your household

They're calling it Ubermensch

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the Lyft driver?

It's naughta Uber

My idea for a Uber like system for Halloween wasn't very popular.

I guess parents don't like the idea of a guy in a van picking up their kids at night.

The other day my friend said that, "its harsh to have Uber drivers drive in heavy rain for you"...

I said, "He's doing it on his own Accord."

My cousin was planning to take an Uber home, but then his phone died.

For lack of a better option, he took out the amount of cash that he thought would cover the cost plus tip, and he asked a stranger, "If I pay you this cash, would you call me an Uber?". The stranger nodded, took the cash, said "You're an Uber!" and walked away.

Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis

iPhone
Facebook
Google
Amazon
Android
Twitter
Instagram
iPod
Yahoo
YouTube
Snapchat
Spotify
Tesla
Skype
Uber
Airbnb
Bitcoin
Fitbit
Emojis
iPad
and
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Croatia

o**... wrote on his FB status:

"Last night, even after having 7 drinks I felt confident to drive, but l acted responsibly & took an Uber."
400 Likes, 40 Comments. But the best comment was from his best friend:
"Where did you go in UBER bro, party was in your house"

A bad uber driver drove from New Zealand to Australia.

He got two stars.

Why would you still take a cab instead of Uber?

Because I'm not going to ask my Uber driver where to get the best h**... in town .

Tom Brady, Hilary Clinton, and Urban Meyer walk into a bar.

None of them can get an Uber home because they've all destroyed their cell phones.

Google just bought Uber.

They are going to rename the company Goober.

I was so drunk last night I blacked out, but somehow I woke up fine in my bed

I did a little sleuthing through my phone and found out my friend paid for my ride home. What an Uber mensch.

Last night I got so s**... the bartender had to call me a cab.

I was uber drunk.

Last time I was working in Dallas, I had picked up these two girls on Uber.

They were talking about sight seeing and various landmarks when we pulled up next to a older brick building that had huge windows at a red light. I noticed the building was empty inside, like it had been cleared and renovated but not occupied. So I pointed it out and told the girls it was the Dallas Air and Space Museum.

How does Uber deliver food during COVID-19 social distancing?

Uber yeets

Why do the police prefer Uber?

Before protesters were always calling them ACAB.

Today was my first day as an Uber driver

and I just dropped off another dude my girls house

If Uber was a drug,

Sometimes we'd have really bad trips

German lawmakers are considering a policy that makes all Uber ride sharing free

If the law passes, then Deutschland will über alles

did Uber go out of business

because everyone is asking for A CAB

Uber driver came to return woman's lost purse

Woman : Thanks but..it is so weird because I remember it containing only a single 100$ note, but now there are ten 10$ notes inside it. How's that possible?
Man: Yeah because everytime I had gone to return someone's wallet or purse, they said they don't have any change to reward me.

Going to be saying goodbye to this group that I love so much

I am here to say goodbye, this group has been fantastic but my wife says I spend too much time here and she can't take it anymore. We argued about it and she told me its either her or the group. So I am going to be gone for a few minutes while I help her pack and call her an uber.
I'll be right back

o**... it took an hour for my friend and I to realize that our Uber driver was a celebrity!!

He's even ranked top ten in the list of most desired people in the world by the FBI!

I saw a dude ordering an Uber as he left the gym

so I asked him, "Do you even Lyft, bro?"

A man rented an uber and and the cabbie arrived exactly on time

The passenger said: "wow you are so punctual just like frank"
Cabbie: excuse me?
Passenger: frank is a great guy, always on time, knows the best restaurants, wear the best clothes, always keeps his promises and never ever treat his family badly.
Cabbie: so is frank your friend or...?
Passenger: no I've never met him but I married his ex wife

What's a YouTuber side job?

Uber.

I went to a car dealership last week and saw a Lamborghini that really caught my eye. I'm just waiting for my paycheck now....

So I can pay for an Uber and go see it again.

I once woke up in the back of a car

I looked at my driver and said, Hey, I think you passed my house."
The driver said a bit nervous, "What do you mean?"
I respond with, "you are my Uber right?"
The man then pulls over the car and says, "No! I'm your Hearse driver!

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these uber jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.